Mums Funeral - Never attended a funeral

[mikedigitales]

Very sorry for your loss, if my limited experience of funerals is any help - I don't think you'll remember what you wore looking back on it, or care what anyone else thought about what your wore. It's very cold at the moment here, so you could probably go with smart black trousers, white shirt and a dark tie - along with a big warm coat to wear while you do all the outside standing around. Hope you're OK, keep the happy memories front and centre.

 

[LuckyBenski]

I'm surprised how many people are recommending black suit and tie given your comments about your mum, though that is what I'd recommend for any other funeral.

My uncle died last year and while well dressed, he always wore something purple. So most of us wore something purple and I also made some purple badges which I gave out to everyone on the day.

When my dad died i don't think i owned a suit and he would have hated it anyway - he was very rebellious, hated authority and was homeless a lot of his life. I wore smartish jeans, a pink shirt and my girlfriend's pants because frankly I thought he'd laugh about that.

I like Scania's idea, it sounds like your mum would be happy with that. As others have said it's her day, and it's your day to honour her so only you can decide if she would've liked it.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[Safetytrousers]

I would hope any afterlife is somewhat better than hanging around judging clothing choices.

 

[aardvark]

honestly wear what you want and what your mum would have appreciated - she was your mum and its nobody else's business.

 

[Ugley_Matt]

honestly wear what you want and what your mum would have appreciated - she was your mum and its nobody else's business.

This and only this.

Far too many things about funerals are just for show, make it about you and her and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.

 

[Raumarik]

If a suit is a problem but you have black trousers and a smart dark coat (not jacket) you can get away with that. A dark suit, white shirt and black tie as others have said is standard dress - ultimately though I doubt anyone will mind if you can't 100% follow it. It's your mother that's passed away, they'll understand priorities are elsewhere.

Sadly as others have said when you hit a certain age family funerals becomes far too bloody common as the generation before start ebbing away.

Sorry for your loss snappyfish, been there myself recently but just remember everyone deals with grief differently and in some cases it can only really hit home at or after the funeral. Make sure you have someone you can turn to on the day.

 

[Teh_Next]

Wear what you think best respects your mum and WHAT feels respectful from your POV.

Screw everyone else. Half of the attendees at my own mum's funeral/wake cared more about getting to the front of the line for a sausage roll and a cheap cake than actually reflecting on her life.
Don't conform to anything other than what you think your mum would appreciate at her own funeral ;o)

 

[ethan]

Wear what you think she would appreciate. The funeral for my mother is next Friday and it's what I shall be doing. She died on the 12th of December. I am sorry for your loss.

 

[McGraw]

Wear what you want. I wear dark suits but have toyed with smart casual before.

Anyone who judges you shouldn’t even be there.

 

[Pho]

It's your Mum, you could wear whatever you like and no one has a right to say anything.

I wore jeans to my Mum's funeral. I didn't own a suit at the time, and I had more than enough on organising the funeral to get around to buying one. She didn't care for fancy clothes etc like your Mum either.

 

[datalol-jack]

A dark suit is acceptable. Charcoal or deep navy will work for other occasions too (as above). Though you can just hire whatever you need for the day and not worry afterwards. Jeans and a t-shirt would be very casual. If you've never had a suit before, it may be a good idea to see a tailor/store assistant where they make to measure, alter or offer a bespoke service: get properly sized up for one, even should you choose to buy/hire one off the peg late. Most people get their measurements wrong; try lots of suits; make do with whatever when they give up. However, as with all such matters, it's always best to know what others will be wearing as well.

 

[Roland Butter]

Wear what you like ? Really ?

It's called making an effort and showing old fashioned respect.

I aint got a suit either, dark jacket or coat, black jeans, and decent shoes. [ no trainers ].

 

[Haggisman]

Wear what you like ? Really ?

It's called making an effort and showing old fashioned respect.

By wearing what society expects even if it wasn't what the person would want? You can keep that sort of "respect" tbh.

OP do you have an outfit that reminds you of a special time together? Something like that world be far more appropriate IMO

 

[Kanpai]

I wouldn't wear a black suit tbh... if you're going to buy a suit then get a dark grey or blue one, you can at least then use it in future for weddings or interviews etc.. when are you going to wear a black suit again?

At all the places you already mentioned?

Sorry for your loss OP, white shirt, black suit and black tie imo.

 

[Orionaut]

Firstly, I feel sorry for your loss, I really do, My Mum died earlier this year (My Dad ten years ago) and I am still heartbroken!

Get yourself a funeral outfit. Dark suit, white shirt, black shoes.

One of the thing you will find as you get older is that you will find yourself having to go to funerals, lots of funerals, so it will be a good investment!

First it will be Family. then it will be Friends and even partners.

One of the consequences of getting old is outliving everybody who you know.

Sorry if this seems harsh but you do have to get used to it!

 

[Devrij]

Depends on the crowd attending, who's organised it etc as well.

For my dad's funeral the procession was 80 harleys (the entire chapter) and we rolled up to the church in our leathers. It was way better than some sombre affair, and I felt he would have liked it. My grandad on the other hand was a military man so suit and tie were the order of the day.

Horse for courses. If you're unsure though, suit and tie.

 

[Usel]

Modern day funerals are not always a black suit and white shirt affairs anymore.

I would wear whatever you think she would want you to wear.

The only time I tend to wear a black suit and colourful shirt with a black tie is usually when the deceased is ancient and they come from a generation where that is formal wear for such an occasion.

 

[dcsarge]

Sorry for your loss. I would echo the posts that say go with what fits for you and your mum.

All the the rest is nonsense and is down to old fashioned expectation of a society that doesn't talk about things before they happen. I have made it clear to my family that I don't want a stuffy funeral or burial plot. I want my loved ones to say good bye to me while laughing about the good times and the silly things and then to remember me with a smile, not to bring flowers to a meaningless headstone every anniversary or whenever. They can wear the things that make them happy. If that is jeans, a tutu or a rhinestone suit then go for it (last one is unlikely unless someone is a closet Elvis impersonator). My daughter has already told me and her friends what she wants and it involves loud music, fancy dress and practical jokes.

 

[darkgen]

If your mother expressed an opinion prior to her death; respect her opinion and dress appropriately. Otherwise, wear whatever you want and are comfortable in. My mother opted for a memorial only service, no-one was present for the actual funeral or the cremation. She expressed an opinion that attendees should wear colour.

I wore a black suite, tie and white shirt. She would not have cared.

 

[darael]

To be honest, you might get away with just a pair of black trousers, black tie, white shirt and a dark coat. It sounds as though a suit might feel too formal for you and your mum.