My final year film production at uni, suggestions for ending?

Soldato
Joined
30 May 2008
Posts
7,788
Hey guys!

just looking for some ideas here!

Last year I shot a detective/scene 5 min drama and got an A2 for it. I am now going into my third and final year of Film and Television and we have to shoot a 10 min film.

If you want to see my film from last year check here :)


I've decided to stay within the crime genre and would love to hear suggestions for a twist / different ending to my story as I really don't like it :(

Here is my story, spec me a ending! (I'm looking for a good twist. i've considered having the policeman being the guy who's framing Joe)

Joe and Scott are on their way to a social event and have both had a bit to drink beforehand. Whilst walking to their destination Scott decides he wants to take a leak. He walks down an alley whilst Joe sits on the kerb waiting. Whilst Joe is waiting he hears the sound of glass smashing. Joe presumes Scott has dropped his drink and begins laughing; he calls out Scott’s name but get’s no reply.

Joe walks down the alley and finds Scott unconscious on the floor with a large gash to the head. Joe tries to phone the police but is out of battery, he checks Scott’s pocket for his phone but fails to find one. Joe knocks on two nearby houses in an attempt to use a phone in a household but neither opens their front door.

Despite having been drinking alcohol, Joe panics and decides that he is going to have to drive Scott to hospital. Joe picks up Scott and lies him down in the back seat of his car.

Whilst driving, Joe is pulled over by a police car for reckless driving. The policeman asks Joe if has been drinking to which Joe responds yes. The policeman looks inside the car and sees a body in the back with a large wound to the head. The policeman forces Joe to the ground and handcuffs him accusing him of drink driving and suspicion of murder. Joe protests his innocence whilst the policeman calls for paramedics.

Two days later and Scott is in a coma. Joe is brought forward for interrogation. From the Police’s perspective it seems as if Joe had assaulted an innocent man and was on his way to dispose of the body. The detective/interrogator asks many questions, for example, why was a public phone not used?

The Film concludes with Joe being found guilty of both drink driving and attempted murder and is sentenced to life in prison. Scott wakes from his coma four years later and Joe is released from prison and compensated.
 
Last edited:
Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
15,861
Location
NW London
Two days later and Scott is in a coma. Joe is brought forward for interrogation. From the Police’s perspective it seems as if Joe had assaulted an innocent man and was on his way to dispose of the body. The detective/interrogator asks many questions, for example, why was a public phone not used?

The Film concludes with Joe being found guilty of both drink driving and attempted murder and is sentenced to life in prison. Scott wakes from his coma four years later and Joe is released from prison and compensated.

I think the last paragraph is a little rushed. You have 2 options:
1. you either add a few paragraphs in between the 2, to essentially connect the time line; or
2. you omit the last paragraph completely, so essentially the above is ACT1 of a multi-act drama.

I think you have a got a really strong story, but the script will be important, in particular what occurs in the Police station and how the Police officers question their suspect.

Perhaps you might also have a situation where even his own friends and family believe he is guilty.

You could have a few family members visit the suspect while he is awaiting his day in Court and maybe a short scene, after the visit, where, while walking back to their car, the family members mention that they think he did murder his friend.

You could even finish your film a few seconds before they announce their (guilty) verdict. Of course, if you do this, the viewer will never know what the verdict was.
 
Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
15,861
Location
NW London
If he decides to turn his short film into an all action flick, there is good chance that he will score a lower mark. That sort of thing may appeal to 14 year olds, but it won't go down too well with his tutors.
 
Soldato
Joined
16 Apr 2007
Posts
23,395
Location
UK
I remember when you asked for ideas for this a while back :D It's all looking very impressive :)
I seem to remember someone suggesting a pretty decent ending when you were asking for suggestions for the actual basis of the film... Can't find the thread though :(
 
Soldato
OP
Joined
30 May 2008
Posts
7,788
Thanks to everyone who has replied genuinely ;) As mentioned this film is my calling card, employees are fed up of seeing student films that involve constant deaths and killing so i'd like to keep the action as low key as possible and let the scriptwriting drive the film.

I remember when you asked for ideas for this a while back :D It's all looking very impressive :)
I seem to remember someone suggesting a pretty decent ending when you were asking for suggestions for the actual basis of the film... Can't find the thread though :(

Hi marky

Here is the thread

http://forums.overclockers.co.uk/showthread.php?t=17988399&highlight=asphyxiate

I dunno if you realise though, the video above is my film from last year.

The synopsis above is for a completely different film and holds no relation to it.

I think the last paragraph is a little rushed. You have 2 options:
1. you either add a few paragraphs in between the 2, to essentially connect the time line; or
2. you omit the last paragraph completely, so essentially the above is ACT1 of a multi-act drama.

I think you have a got a really strong story, but the script will be important, in particular what occurs in the Police station and how the Police officers question their suspect.

Perhaps you might also have a situation where even his own friends and family believe he is guilty.

You could have a few family members visit the suspect while he is awaiting his day in Court and maybe a short scene, after the visit, where, while walking back to their car, the family members mention that they think he did murder his friend.

You could even finish your film a few seconds before they announce their (guilty) verdict. Of course, if you do this, the viewer will never know what the verdict was.

Thank you VERY much for the suggestions! You have given me some ideas to play around with!

Off topic- I just got accepted for work experience at the London film festival for 2 weeks! :D
 
Last edited:
Top Bottom