My mouse elvis just died :(

Mercutio said:
(In your BEST Irish accent for the barmans bits - something mild and pleasant):

Chap visiting Ireland. Out in the middle of no-where, a little lost, as it's getting dark.
He looks around and spots some lights on top of a hill so heads off towards them.
Follows this beautiful white picket fence to the top of the hill where he finds the lights are for a pub.
He goes inside and the place is deserted apart from the barman behind the bar.

"What can I getcha?" Asks the barman.
"oh, I'll have a guiness" replies the chap.

The barman pulling his pint and watching the chap asks:
"So, d'ya see the fence on the way up there?"
"Aye" replies the chap "and very nice it is too"
"It took me 4 straight days to build and paint that damn thing, it's a lovely fence" says the barman "but do they call me Jones the fence builder?.. Nooo".
and he hands the chap his pint.

The barman see's him looking around and asks "so... you like the place then?"
Aye" replies the chap "it's a lovely looking place"
The barman raps the counter top "It's solid mahogany this bar top, built it myself. Helped the guy from the brewery put the pumps in too."... "but do they call me Jones the bar maker?.. Nooo".

The barman watches the chap supping his pint and asks: "So, is that a nice pint then? I pulled it ok for ya?"
Aye" replies the chap "it's a cracking pint"
"Should forking hope so as well, you'll not get a better pull outside of Dublin. I do about the best pint for miles."..."but do they call me Jones the pint puller?.. Nooo"

"But you fork just ONE goat"...
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