Neighbours - Am I being unresonable?

Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
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8,973
This really annoys me that I've come on here to have a good moan, but its also a question too.

I've just moved into my new flat in the past 2 weeks. Its a ground floor single bedroom flat in Milton Keynes. I love it to pieces and I'm so proud of myself moving out at the age of 22/23 and being self sufficient having a Mortgage etc.

Now, in no way am I trying to say that I'm a quiet little mouse and that I don't make any noise at all.

Over the course of the past 2 weeks with me being the last person to take occupancy in the block of flats (its 3 floors, Ground, 1st and 2nd and two accross, make sence?) in the ground floor right appartment. It was about 10pm one night and i was watching spooks on my tv through my computer with the sub and 2 satellite speakers. Now, I wasn't being OTT at all, the volume was on about 30% and i understood that it was 10Pm and people have work the next morning, but after about 10 minutes I had 3 deep "boom boom boom" on the joining wall in the living room. (Both flats are symetrical, the living rooms face eachother.)

To start with this actually scared the crap out of me, because i was laying on the sofa, really getting into it and it just make me jump. I thought nothing of it, turned it down a little and carried on.

This same "boom boom boom" happened one evening in the week when i'd got in from work and was listening to my music whilst doing some cooking, once again, I ignored it.

A few days later, on a Saturday evening at half 7, i was getting ready to go a pick up the parents from Gatwick, I had my music on, once again, as before, it wasn't excessivly loud, but not quiet. Yes, you guessed it, they banged on the wall. I thought thats it, I'm not standing for this so I went straight round there and asked what the problem was.

To cut a long story short he basically said that he could hear my music through the wall and was getting annoyed by it. I said to him somthing along the lines of, no offence buddy but its saturday night and its half 7, its not late and its a block of flats, your going to get noise, what do you expect?

This fella is about late 20's, probably early 30's and lives with his Girlfriend. He had the cheek to say that it was quiet till I came, of course, the flat was vacent?!

I said to him that I found it rude and inpolite to bang on the wall and asked that next time he feel the need to bang, that he come round and ask me face to face. As yet I've not heard anything from him, and its been a week since I've confronted him.

its not only me that he complains, or, rather rudely bangs on the wall against. The guy above him plays the guitar and apparently he bangs on his floor in a way of complaing that his guitar is too loud!!! I've never heard it once!

As another side issue, my dad had to come and let Currys deliver some electrical items to my flat when i was overseas. It was 8AM on a saturday morning and peeing it down with rain. My dad quickly pulled up on the side of the road (outside their flat) and opened up to let the delivery guys in. He was there no more than 7 or 8 minutes, by which time when he returned to his car (it was my car he was using whilst i was away) there was a snotty note on it saying 'This is NOT the visitors carpark. if you wish to park your car, please use the bays provided!!!!'

He knew it was them because as soon as he'd finished reading it, he looked up and saw their curtains twitch.

Now, is it me? am I being unreasonable? or are my neighbours just a bunch of intollerant you know whats?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, my apologies for such a long thread but this is really the last thing i need after a stressful move! :(

ta

Greg
 
Soldato
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Not a lot you can do as you've already spoken to him so the only advice I can think of giving is to ignore him. Make sure you don't become unreasonable in repsonse to him and he'll soon give up, especially if all the other neighbours ignore him too :p
 
Man of Honour
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Personally, I think you can across too agressive and that didn't help your situation.

Flats can often have very thin walls. Maybe it would have been a better idea to put your music on at what you consider a decent level and ask to listen and see how loud it was for him to hear. It could be very surprising.

Why don't you apologise and ask to see his point of view. If it is acceptable then at least you've got a more informed opinion.

My best advice is be diplomatic, you life could be turned into a living hell for months otherwise.

Burnsy
 
Soldato
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If you want to live in a block of flats with thin walls buy some headphones.

I used to live next to a bloke who would play some drum and bass crap music and all I could hear when I was in my room was boom boom boom boom boom constantly. It's like water torture. It nearly came to blows. Use headphones unless you have company.
 
Soldato
OP
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Personally, I think you can across too agressive and that didn't help your situation.

Flats can often have very thin walls. Maybe it would have been a better idea to put your music on at what you consider a decent level and ask to listen and see how loud it was for him to hear. It could be very surprising.

Why don't you apologise and ask to see his point of view. If it is acceptable then at least you've got a more informed opinion.

My best advice is be diplomatic, you life could be turned into a living hell for months otherwise.

Burnsy


I totally understand his PoV. I know how annoying music can be, but to be honest, it really isn't loud at all. I know that the walls aren't very thick at all, but the problem is, I can hear him, I can hear his TV but it doesn't bother me at all.

I think part of the problem is that he's so used to having no one live next to him for the past 8 months or so, now that I've moved in its something that he's not used to. Maybe it it was the otherway round and he'd just moved in then maybe it might be different?!

I perhaps didn't explain myself very well, I wasn't aggressive at all with him, I wasn't confrontational, my thought was if i don't nip it in the bud now, then it might get out of hand, which is the last thing i want!
 
Man of Honour
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Its probably more of a problem of the bass travelling rather than it just being 'loud'? Might be worth just keeping the bass down a touch?

Lol at the note on the car btw!
 
Associate
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Neighbours can be pains in the bum.
I hate it when they just bang or leave snotty notes - they should have the front to come and see you in person if it really bothers them.

I had notes about parking once (thought the bit of public road outside his house was owned by him), so I went around and he wasnt in, so I left a polite note to ask that he would come see me.

He thought it would be clever to come at 01:30am after he finished work and start banging on my door, knowing full well we have a baby in bed. :mad:

Not had a problem since I spoke to him the next day - you just need to speak to these people face to face and be reasonable. Personally I'd say moderate/loud music should be kerbed at 9pm, but thats still no excuse to ignorantly bang on the wall.
 
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Associate
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try turning down the bass a bit. it's normally the bass that penetrates walls easily. you'll get used to it in no time and won't even notice after a while.

i had a flat mate that drove me nuts once, cos he'd come in from clubbing and play his stereo at 2 in the morning.
i tried telling him all he had to do was turn down the bass a bit and i'd be ok.
he didn;t get the message, so i had to resort to other methods.

try and be more considerate. it's not you who decids if it's loud, it's the other person.
 
Soldato
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This is the problem, I know that its the base that travels which is why its on minimum!!!!!!

I'm not getting too fust about it tbh, i just wanted to see what the general concensus is.

I come from a very quiet household, living with lotst of elderly people around us, so I'm used to being quiet and considerate. I've not changed the way I am so I don't know what to do.

Oh well, we'll see! :)
 
Associate
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Have you put your music on at the normal level and asked if you can go in his flat to see how loud it is? It may travel straight thru, you never know.

Not worth falling out with neighbours, just to keep the peace turn it down a touch.
 

HaX

HaX

Associate
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Having lived in a block of flats myself, I think it is very important to consider your neighbours.

As mentioned earlier in this thread a a lot of flats have thin walls, particularly newer ones.

I had the misfortune of living next to some football fanatic retard. Everytime there was a big match on TV I'd hear the TV blaring out, him screaming at it and punching the walls each time a goal was scored/missed.

It was at those times I wished I had an AK47 so I could pay him a neighbourly visit and sort him out!!!
 
Soldato
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Had it all before mate, similar setup but we were above, anything made them bang, they used to stare at me when i left they proper hated me, all ours was, was living noise never music. I got an earfull once from her because i moved a stool across the kitchen wood floor. I fitted felt pads to stop it, in the end we had enough and moved, didnt see any other way. They got a dog a year before we moved and it made our lives hell, anything set it off even just banging a door upstairs abnd it barked, i hated it. Its just flats they have appauling noise insulation.
 
Soldato
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UK
Come home from work, turn the music on

"bang bang bang"

turn the music up..

"bang bang bang bang"

turn music up....

"bang bang bang" on the door this time.

open the door

Sorry, I can't hear my music because someone's making a dam awful racket on the wall next door. :D
 
Permabanned
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R'lyeh
Your neighbour sounds like a complete numpty to be honest. Go to a phone box and call Crimestoppers to inform them of his drug dealing. Also say that you think he may also be selling to children because you see quite a few children go in and leave after an hour or so looking all dishevelled.
 
Caporegime
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Just wait till hes hammering his GF one night, and just go round and say "can you not **** her during the day when im out, or shove yer socks in her gob, and either take the headboard off, or move the bed away from the wall". :D

He'll be well peeved as you'll put him off his stroke.
 
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