We tend to mix it between showers and baths depending on whatever random thing is causing ours to put it off that day. Baths are usually the winner as there is more play time, but we sell showers as a "you'll have more time to play before bed" option.
I feel you there. My wife had a c section so couldn't really do anything for the first week (not so bad as yours obvs) so it's all on you. Once the little one settles into a routine it gets easier. Until then you sorta live in the twilight zone and just gotta try to help as well as you can.
She won't forget the effort you're putting in. My wife always talks about how great I was in those first couple weeks (not blowing my own trumpet, just did what you're doing), when she tells mums-to-be about the experience years later. It's an oasis of praise in the usual "he cleans all the dishes in the sink but forgets the pans on the hob right next to them, silly man" type mockery that women usually engage in.Yeah I feel the same, that I’ve been trying to take as much on as I can to give her a break at the expense of myself.
The birth wasn’t ideal and traumatic for her, so she bloody deserves it, I think certain things will taint the whole experience for her.
One worry is when I have to go back to work, I’ve got a month off so hoping that will be enough as think she’s a bit worried about going it alone so to speak.
That said, I work from home almost entirely in a job where other than any scheduled meetings I’m left to my own devices as to when and how I work, as long as things get done.
So whilst I wont necessarily be available 24/7 as I am now, it won’t be far off!
Edited my previous post to mention the NCT type groups and how helpful they’ve been too.
Apologies to everyone for the longish posts, I don’t really have anyone or anywhere else to vent this stuff to
Thanks man.
Just some rambling random thoughts.
Just the whole experience so far. It's hard to pinpoint. In a lot of ways not much has changed, but in other ways, everything has changed. We're older parents (I turned 40 a week ago and partner is 36) so we're very set in our ways. So now we have this screaming banshee messing up our patterns and routines. Perhaps part of me expected her just to fall in with our routines
The tiredness is real. But my girlfriend has stepped up in a way that's pretty much super human. Wonder Woman. Her mommy juices are in full swing and she laughs at my tiredness. I've pretty much tapped out after two weeks as I'm back at work and struggle to function and now get 4 hours a night instead of 2.
You 1000% don't need as much as you think. We have an avalanche of crap we bought (2nd hand) where it's becoming increasingly clear we'll never use.
Clothing. Keep it SIMPLE. The baby don't care about a label or whether it's made from a special breed of material produced by a bed of silkworms in Switzerland. They'll puke all over it. Buttons, zips, Velcro, laces. Too complicated already. Try changing a screaming baby at 2am when you're body is fighting the shock of beyond-tiredness. Keep the clothing simple. 'Going Home Clothes?' 'First picture clothes?', 'First night at home clothes?' I laugh at my naivety now. You'll dress him/her in whatever is to hand and whatever time that may be.
Make sure you help as much as you can. My partner is on maternity leave for 12 months and it's anything but the 'paid holiday at home - nice for some eh' I thought it would be for her. It's a full time gig. When I get home from work I take the baby straight away so she can get a break. She goes food shopping just to get out.
Oh, and be prepared for the shock of being sent home from the hospital. Like I said, we had an emergency c-section so they were kept in hospital for a week. When the 'release' came, we both couldn't believe that we're being sent home AND trusted to look after this little life form. Felt like an older mature woman who knows what the hell she's doing had to come home with us to ensure the baby survives more than 12 hours with us. But they're tough little things.
Anyway. I don't want to write more as I might accidentally give the impression that I have this down after 19 days being a dad.
Yeah, I know I'm mostly to blame for putting it off this long as bedtime is my part of the routine, and man I just like the snuggles! That said, it can take nearly an hr from going upstairs for bed to coming back down again, so I am looking forwards to cutting that down.
I found the same thing. There are a couple good ones on android but not sure if they exist on iOS. Mostly you get one tiny bit of the app and everything else is dlc. I wish I could remember the name of it, but there was this great one where they earned stickers for a sticker wall (and got to choose the sticker), and I swear I've never seen my daughter so enthused with literacy as when there was a virtual sticker on the end of it. This is her sitting next to some real stickers too
Fingers crossed we won't experience a proper tantrum but so far my wifey smashed it in terms of teaching my eldest how to voice his feelings, so instead of a giant 2 year old smashing things or whatever they do he simply says the cutest "I'm so disappointed, because it's raining so I cannot go outside" or "I'm so upset, because it's finished" (his TV show).
I recommend whole heartedly attempting the same. Basically, whenever they get upset or angry or whatever you first ask them what they feel, or why they are upset, then you repeat it back to them "oh baby, I know you're upset that you can't go outside," or "I know you're disappointed you can't finish your TV show but you have already watched one episode which was nice and you can watch more tomorrow" etc. Eventually they tell you without prompt.
Give them tools to use, then they shouldn't be so dramatic when communicating or expressing their emotions
My general feeling is that, even the ones where you can take out the lining for cleaning, it will be so manky by the time they outgrow a limited size seat that you'll want to get another one anyway. There are always bits you can't quite get at to clean, and the detritus of a child can be seriously wack. At that age it won't be long before, instead of welcoming the immediate sleep driving brings, you'll be trying to prevent it lest you face a night of a wide awake child. So it helps to be able to keep them entertained. Cup holder is seriously useful btw.
Good luck all - I'll throw my hat in the ring too - we are at 39 weeks now on our first so could be along any day now
Just hope we arent stuck in hospital too long this time. Was 9 days last time!
Still not sure on visitation on the wards afterwards either. The Mrs thinks I might have to book timeslots
Yeah, we have been waiting for this day for a long time. Thanks to covid my wife still had to cut her hours though as no before/after school clubs, so not as much of a saving as we'd hoped, but still a new exciting time.
Yeah that's basically how it is. We did holiday camps but our daughter really didn't enjoy it at Easter so we decided to pay a friend's daughter to babysit while we worked (she gets on great with our kid and is a mean baker so it works and is a tad cheaper than the camp). Not sure how it'll pan out.
Props for handling two. I'm not sure how much more I can bounce on the trampoline or play squirt guns before I collapse and it's still early days!
