OcUK Dadsnet thread

[Devrij]

I've had it done, last year (was 32). You get asked a few questions about if you really want to do it and that sort of thing. Wan't too bad, but did make me twinge when they stick a needle in your testicles. Also if you have it done, don't look down. I did and i now know what the pipes look like lol. Oh my other piece of advice is wear tight underwear for the first week, gravity is not your friend lol.

I'm toying with the idea. I only have the one child and am 33, but the wife and I are firmly in the "pretty sure another kid would kill us" and she's 45 so I was thinking about just going for it. She is actually not so on board in case something happened between us and I ended up wanting kids with another woman. Very considerate of her to consider the possibilities, but I'm pretty confident that one is enough. Unless something happened to my daughter, God forbid, I can't imagine having another regardless.

That "what if" mentality, and the fear of chronic pain that some people get (I remember the old thread on this a few years back filled with some horror stories) are the only thing holding me back really.

 

[Devrij]

Went to the hospital yesterday for an ECV. Wouldn't work, as she was bum down, legs up, and fully engaged in the OH's pelvis. So they booked a C-Sec in for the 22nd.

Got home from work at 2:30am and my missus was up, complaining she felt odd and kept needing the loo. By 6am she was on the phone to the hospital; turns out her waters had broken. We got to the hospital at 7:30am. But it was a bit of a hectic day for the staff there, so we had a long wait. Our daughter was born by C-Sec at 17:08 this evening. So happy as she's lovely and perfectly healthy Mum is doing alright too considering the surgery.

Time for some sleep

Congrats dude! My wife was up and about fairly quickly after her section, although sleeping was a nightmare for a couple weeks after. Not that you get much anyway! Hope your missus recovers quickly.

 

[Devrij]

I'm very much in the "listen to the pros" camp, because I'd rather be surrounded by experienced people and anything they need to work when my child is born. I know one of the midwives was telling us she did an at home delivery of her 2nd child, so I'm not saying it shouldn't be an option or anything. I'm just paranoid and didn't want to take any risks. As it turns out, Riley had to come out the front so I'm glad we weren't at home

 

[Devrij]

First night with baby and the OH at home last night. Took hours for us to get her settled, but we got there. Popped the light off, and there was a moment of utter confusion from both of us when the room didn't go dark. Then we realised; it was morning already

Hoping for at least a few hours sleep tonight as I've got my last uni exam for the year.

You gotta grab sleep when you can, for the first month or so at least. I used to go sleep in my car on my lunch break just to make it through the day. Then it all starts to fall into place a bit (for us at least it did) and you get some routine.

 

[Devrij]

I think we can move on from that discussion now gents.

Congrats @Robert on the new arrival. I think every parent gets some level of panic situation from the start. I think the saying that it's like having your heart outside your body is fairly accurate!

 

[Devrij]

George has conjunctivitis again. So annoying, wakes up with his right eye sealed shut.
Still got some antibiotic drops at least.

Ah yeah we've been through that whole gloopy eye as well. Seems like it comes back instantly after cleaning

 

[Devrij]

The obvious answer, and one that has already been given, is that you need to talk to your wife and ask her what you can do? It sounds like she'll say that you should just get up earlier.

Two sides to this: it's rough on you, but it's also rough on her.

Given that this is a temporary situation (make sure it is), I'd reiterate that, but also show willing by going to bed a bit earlier (I know you have bugger all time when you get back, but this is a temporary emergency situation) and get up a bit earlier. You'll be knackered, but sure you're a parent so that's inevitable. Just ride it dude.

 

[Devrij]

Thank you for the reply, like I said before. I'm lucky if I get 6 hours sleep, it's mostly 3 or 4 for to feeds. But thank you, you've helped put it in perspective

I hate to say it, but 6hrs is often about average for a lot of parents (generous, my wife says, while peering over my shoulder lol). Hopefully this 12hr night shift thing passes and you can get back to some sense of normality.

 

[Devrij]

Appreciate the reply, thank you, I'll let the conversation move on, I've spoken to my wife, she just misses me and apologised, as have i, I explained how im trying but tired everyday, she explained that she is getting more sleep than me at the moment so she will let me sleep untill next week when things will go back to normal.
Thanks again

Oh nice, result!

 

[Devrij]

Lads, I'm not into this whole "safe space" stuff, but seriously enough with the bickering. If there's one thing I've learned about parenting, it's that everyone's experiences are different. Accept that. Share your experience, offer helpful advice where you can, but don't take your own experiences as fact, and be cool if someone has a different experience or opinion.

This thread was just supposed to be a place where new dads can get a bit of reassurance and advice (and maybe a bit of good natured ribbing on the lines of "say goodbye to sleep" etc), and where experienced parents can vent about the trials and tribulations of raising some mentalist that defies them at every turn or beam with pride at some new success of their child prodigy and hope that the other people in the thread will get it.

So try to keep it positive and constructive. Big love brothers.

P. S. not pointed at anyone specific, I've just noted a few protracted debates that have derailed the thread lately

 

[Devrij]

Not long for me - we've got our section date (a secret, because some people I know IRL know me on here!) and my non-dad days are very, very soon coming to an end.

I've had both car seats in the car for the last 4 weeks so I can get used to driving with less legroom.
The nursery is pretty much done, cots built, shelves up, walls painted, clothes prepared, cuddly toys piled ceiling high, two nappy stations (one upstairs and one downstairs), bouncers, moses baskets, kitchen sink...
Buggy, carry cots built (what a pain!), double stroller being picked up on Sunday (cutting it fairly close).
Work is prepared, and they're ok with me taking my paternity with little warning (I'll only be starting it once the kids are home as we've been told to expect 5-7 days in afterwards).

I still feel like there's something I've forgotten!

I'm dancing a very thin line between excitement and terror.

Tbf, moses basket is where they'll live most of the time in the first couple weeks while you get to grips with everything. They are dead handy.

I also found those feeding pillows (like a big version of those airplane pillows that go round your neck, only it goes around your waist) awesome for when we went to expressed bottles and I was doing feeds. I had started getting this incredible pain in my neck and shoulder and it was from holding her for ages looking down. Turns out stretching your tight chest muscles out allows your head to sit back and relieves the stress on your neck and shoulders. Saved me from agony. Just in case you get that.

 

[Devrij]

And above all, don't be disheartened if you don't achieve 90% of that advice when it comes to your baby, it just won't happen. Had to laugh at the "sleep when you baby sleeps" one classic.

Agreed, lots of useful stuff in there, but don't hold yourself to that list!

When they sleep you get to relax and do adult stuff (no not that, not for a while mate). Burn the candle at both ends baby! I did used to sleep in my car on lunch breaks though.

 

[Devrij]

And although we had a moses basket, our first was too long and kept waking herself up by bumping arms and legs into the side.

As with everything, your millage may vary!

Simon

Unlucky mate. Ours practically never left hers. Going upstairs to do some ironing? Lift sleeping baby in moses basket and carry upstairs. Lunch time? Back down stairs with moses basket. Amazing.

 

[Devrij]

So a couple of weeks ago I got some great news from my wife that we are expecting our first baby!

Had our scan on Saturday and he/she appears to be doing very well.

I've got a mixture of emotions at the moment ranging from super excited to worried about how the hell I'm going to cope with a child

I'll be relying on you guys to see me through this!

Congrats dude, it's a hell of a journey. The scans are great. I used to be secretly glad when our daughter wouldn't line up to be measured so we could spend more time watching. I felt exactly the same right through until she was born. You'd be amazed how quickly you adapt once they're out.

Definitely the most meaningful thing I've ever done (feels that way anyway). Had my girl for the weekend while my missus went to visit some friends and we had a blast being silly and dancing etc. It's pretty awesome

 

[Devrij]

Congrats! Glad everyone is doing well. Are you at home yet? I remember feeling like I had stolen a baby because clearly I was unqualified to be taking a live baby out of the hospital to take care of it.

 

[Devrij]

We were in for a couple days due to the emergency c section, but it was quite handy getting the extra advice and help of the midwives in retrospect. Couple days of training wheels like. Glad the twins are doing well and hope the other half recovers quickly.

 

[Devrij]

We're up to day four.

My wife is getting stronger but still very limited mobility. It's getting better though and she's trying hard. The babies are both being cup-fed which is a lot of work for both of us - I was there for three hours earlier and it was non-stop changing, cleaning, feeding, dressing, cuddling, and trying to work out why they were crying! It' pretty intense, and no wonder they are pushing me to start staying the night - which I can do tonight, but then I'm back to work and have a diabetic cat to give regular shots to

Thanks for all the kind comments, they're much appreciated.

I remember that feeling. Essentially it's just that checklist at the start: hungry? Wet? Hugs? Tired? Until you get to know them well enough to figure it out. You'll soon settle into a routine, don't worry dude!

 

[Devrij]

Yep, 3rd step ftw. He will climb them, and probably fall down them, but without serious injury most likely. They're fairly robust.

3 years down the line we've finally got rid of the stair gates. Must say that despite initial terror, it's been great. "daddy I need to pee" "okay go pee then, I'll wait down here for you".

 

[Devrij]

Yeah man, we had the same thing (2nd step) and Riley used to hang on the bars and swing around over a hardwood floor. Soft rug will help with peace of mind, but by the time they're at that stuff they're generally pretty tough and it'll mostly be your hairline that suffers when he has a tumble.

 

[Devrij]

Happy dad day gents