Office issues rant - The bog

Just think yourselves lucky you work in an office and not on a building site. Most site bogs make your average festival bog look as hygienic as the one at home. A few weeks ago I went in one where the roofers had a who can poo in the most amusing part of the portaloo competition, the sink, the seat and my favorite (of which must have been placed by hand) on top of the flushing handle/stick bit.

Felt sorry for the laborer who was sent in with the jetwash after lol.
 
I used to have to go to college with a lot of foreign students who were in the UK for the first time and had no experience of western toilets.

They would take 3 or 4 cups from the water cooler in with them and take a dump and use the cups of water to clean themselves afterwards.

When you went in at the end of the day the floor would be covered in smelly brown water and there were water cups stacked up next to the bowl.

I frequently go in to the toilet at work and find pee all over everything and puddles on the floor, luckily the cleaners come a couple of times a day.
 
randal24 said:
Always, it's the conundrum of what you do to exit the toilet with freshly washed hands that always does me in. Normally involves using shirt, or timing my exit with someone walking in.
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Theres no conundrum, your just failing to plan ahead fella, bit of looroll in the pocket, do what needs to be done, wash hands, use said looroll to exit loo & bin it, sorted. :D
 
Someone vomited and poo'ed all over in the STAFF toilet at work, which is only accessable by staff via combination lock. I mean they did it all over the floor and sinks..massive diarrhea and vomit pools. No cctv in that area at the doors so no clues but wtf? They ripped out the sinks and had pros in to clean the floor it was that toxic.
 
toilet620_2134764b.jpg
 
VoG said:
Theres no conundrum, your just failing to plan ahead fella, bit of looroll in the pocket, do what needs to be done, wash hands, use said looroll to exit loo & bin it, sorted. :D
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Double door at out place, and the bin is on the other side. Would require some kind of superhuman effort to open both doors, run back, deposit the toilet paper in the bin and exit gracefully.

In all likelihood, I'd end up throwing both doors open slipping over as I ran to the bin and then headbutting the door on exit.

In the very unlikely event of being successful, I'd be running out of the toilet at pace and probably stacking into someone. Or, people would be asking serious questions about what just went on in the toilet if I'm seen leaving at speed... <see thread for examples> :D

Or I guess I could do what some people do at our place and just dump the aforementioned paper shield in the "airlock". :rolleyes:
 
I'm fairly sure we've got the Golgothan working in our office, such is the state the traps are left in every time this guy gives birth to one of his creations.... I'm assuming he's giving birth anyway, due to the squealing and grunting that goes on when he's in there.

See him going for the traps and everyone makes a run for it. Not safe to enter.

Oddly, the noises aren't much different when he's eating his lunch in the break out areas, so it's a bit puzzling really, what - exactly - he's doing in either place.
 
True story.

In a former company I worked for someone had taken a dump, pulled the turd out of the toilet, wiped it all around the seat and then stubbed it against the wall behind.

This was the same toilet that was covered in people's snot too, lovely.

On the up side no one was taking unnecessary toilet breaks!
 
Father Ted said:
Office I used to work at we had an issue in the toilet of somebody picking their nose and leaving the acquired bogies stuck to the wall, cleaner refused to touch them, so day by day the collection steadily grew.Not sure they ever did catch the culprit, turns my stomach to think about it even now.
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Sounds like something from an episode of Ren & Stimpy :p
 
OP - couldnt agree with you more. I suffer the same problems at work. There are some truly filthy people out there. When someone cant even be bothered to flush they need to be lashed with barbed wire in public :mad:

In desperation I printed a sign that said "Please leave toilet clean for the next user". One day I went in there during lunch for a bladder-drain and some filthy slug had smeared a spot of you-know-what on it and had written "No. I will smear it all over the walls"

Barbed-wire lashing & then rub wounds with chilli-powder :mad:

@ AtreuS - Lol lol lol!!
 
Apart from one person who shall remain nameless who disappears in there for 15 mins at a time and leaves the most foul stench and skid ridden pan I've ever had the displeasure to encounter. Our work bogs aren't too bad.
Needless to say this bloke eats the hottest curry he can lay his hands on, on a regular basis, it's no wonder his ringpiece is so battered.

Personally, even in pubs and clubs when hammered I'm always careful of where I spew or pee and always have a little tidy up when I'm finished.
The last thing I would want is to drop my kegs into a puddle of god knows what on the floor when going for the unload!
Some people really are animals who should be kicked outside and given a shovel until they learn some ****ing hygiene.
I feel for you OP
 
This is also as disgusting
(no I wasn't searching for it, someone just posted it to my timeline on twitter)

Watch to the end!!
http://www.********.com/view?i=6e7_1342997767

OMFGG
 
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