Parents new partners aka "Step-parents"

Jimmi

Jimmi

Jimmi

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17 Dec 2006
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920
A little bit of background first, parents divorced about 10 years ago, 4 years ago the mother found a new man, 3 years ago they bought a place to live where me (now 23) and my sister (now 19) also reside. So in no way do i consider him part of my family, especially as i shall be moving out soon.

On to the story....

This afternoon, in the computer room i close the blind, which happens to break (well one of the string parts that aids in the blind opening and closing). On closer inspection the end of the string looks rather frayed....anyway about 30 minutes ago mums bloke enters the room instantly looking angrily at the blind! I try to explain what goes on, but no its instantly me being heavy handed with it and i am paying for it....no discusion.

I know the matter in hand is rather small but when anything of this nature happens, or he decides something ... nothing is for discusion.

I have tried my hardest not to exist as it were (spend plenty of time out the house, and when i am in mainly sit on my pc or in my room with headphones on) but even the smallest things that really arent worth getting worked up about annoy the hell out of him.......


So i am wondering if anyone else finds themself in a similar situation, and how they cope with it?
 
Have you tried speaking to your mum? You're old enough surely to know that discussion can solve a lot of problems.
I had a lot of issues with my step-dad, and my solution was to move out when I turned 18. We couldn't live together, but we get on fine now that I only see him once a month or so.
 
Something simelar where Step-dad set a schedual on the router to stop me being online after 11pm (i'm 18 btw..)
I just started a big arguement, and now everythings much better. :D
 
Not a lot you can do, I was in a similar situation when I was around 19 or so, I even recieved a letter from my 'Stepfather' telling me in no uncertain terms that anything that ever went wrong in the house or his relasionship with my mother was my fault.

Some people just have big chips on their shoulders, best thing you can do is move out as soon as possible to remove yourself from the situation.
 
I imagine it must be hard coming in to a family already set up. I guess he would feel he need to lay down the law to be seen as an authority figure. As for myself I have 4 parents. Both parents re-married. I have no problem with any of them and count myself lucky for this. First step-dad came around age 10 and I moved in with them, so it was a bit strange. But a little give and take and we were fine, still chatty and jokey now. Step-mum came along not long ago and I am 24 now so dont really see her much, but we get on.

Can I ask (not in a nasty way) why you havent moved out yet? Like uni, or a flat with some mates.
 
Vixen said:
Have you tried speaking to your mum? You're old enough surely to know that discussion can solve a lot of problems.
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First of all i tried the shouting option, clearly failed (well i was 18-19)
Then a couple of years ago we did a clear the air talk and set out some guidlines
Now its the case my mum knows i am doing nothing wrong, i never get angry i am always calm and try and talk the situation through.....if i am allowed to, more often i'm not, which is when he has started getting loud, which is when i walk away from the situation.

Docaroo said:
deck him.
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I've had to restrain myself a few times..... :mad:
 
oxygene said:
Can I ask (not in a nasty way) why you havent moved out yet? Like uni, or a flat with some mates.
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I am in the process of, new job in london started last week so currently finding digs so should be out by the end of the month! :D

My last job meant i was out the country for half the year so seemed pointless moving out to rent when i wouldnt be using it a lot of the time. If i'd stayed in that job, i've saved a deposit so by the end of the year i would have hopefully found and bought a flat.
 
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