Post your favourite Simpsons quotes!

[Naffa]

I think I may have remembered my favourite.

From Who Shot Mr Burns? Part 1.

*Homer is spraying 'MY NAME IS HOMER SIMPSON' in 5ft letters on the wall in Mr Burns' office*

*Burns enters the room and switches on the light*

Mr Burns: Who the devil are you?

 

[sammo62]

Homer Simpson: Awww ... 20 dollars!? I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer Simpson: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer Simpson: Woo hoo!

 

[VaderDSL]

Wiggum: Shoot the tires out, Lou!
Lou: Uh…it's a tank, chief!
Wiggum: You know what? I'm getting real tired of your excuses!

Moleman : "There is no escape from the fortress of the Moles! Oh except that."

 

[Deep]

Mayor Quimby: Ich bin ein Springfielder

Skinner is about to be burned at the stake like witches: I'm telling you people the Earth revolves around the Sun!
Grandpa Simpson: Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn him

Just after someone takes a picture of Grandpa Simpson
Grandpa Simpson: You took my souuuuuuuuuuuuuul


Dr Nick: Hi Everybody

Marge: Have you noticed something different with Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No, he seems upset
Homer: He probably misses his old glasses

Skinner: And now we enter End Game

FBI Agent: All right. When I step down on your foot and say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson, you smile and nod
Homer: No problem
FBI Agent: Hello Mr. Thompson. He then steps on Homer’s foot).
Homer : (Long pause) (Whispers to other FBI Agent) Psst, I think he’s talking to you.
(I had to copy pasta this one because I couldn't remember exact wording!)
Oh damn its already above!

And there are hundreds more but I can't remember them at the moment

 

[shorttricky]

Marge: [to Bart] Now we have to find another school for you.
Homer: And if you get kicked out of that one, you're going straight in the army, where you'll be sent straight to America's latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything's possible with Commander Cuckoo-Bananas in charge.

Grampa: 'Hello...? It's cold, and there are wolves after me.'

 

[Van Hellseek]

Me fail English? That's unpossible!

Ralph <3

 

[gam3r]

Does anyone remember the one where Homer found some glasses in the toilet, put them on and came out with some random mathematical equation?

 

[Greenlizard0]

Not quite quotes per se, but some of their songs. Anybody a fan of these? :

Sodomised version of :

*The Nutcracker by Tchaikovsky, (from "Simpsons Christmas Stories" episode number: 365 season num: 17) :

I've still gotta bake my Christmas pie! (Marge)
I've gotta get dad a lousy tie! (Bart)
Christmas crowds is what I hate (Cleetus)
No time left to procrastinate (Sideshow Mel)
So move your ass (Lenny)
and let me pass (Carl)
'cause Christmas eve is here! Argh!

Er, why is the Santa suit so snug? (Mayor Quimby)
Grr why should I care it's all humbug! (Mr Burns)
I've jacked my prices up so high (Apu)
but there's no chance these saps would buy
a steal eggnog, (??)
a green hotdog,
because Christmas eve is here!

These holiday cookies swell my fat! (Jeff Albertson - "Comic book guy")
yeardeedididar da yadar Cat! (Eleanor Abernathy - "Crazy cat lady")
Even though we're not gentile (Krusty)
we'll get together for a while
to share dabreeze (??) (Old Jewish guy)
to eat Chinese (Krusty's Dad / Rabbi Hyman Krustofski)
because Christmas eve is here - OI!!

Christmas is a family day (Marge)
I told Grandpa we were away (Homer)
He's at the door (Lisa)
let's hit the floor (Bart)
'cause Christmas eve is here!

*Die Zauberfloete by Mozart (melody weirdly enough: Eine kleine Nachtmusik by Mozart), (from "The Margical mystery tour"; episode number: 324; season num: 15) :

Beans -oh beans, delicious in your mouth! (Sideshow Mel)
But, watchout - when beans come out down south (random unknown)
Tooting, some call it pooting
it's air polluting; the gas comes shooting -
right from your your butt butt butt, butt butt butt, butt butt butt buuutt!!

 

[tom91x91]

now chompy, chew through my BALL sack - skinner

 

[Masterdog]

Homer Simpson: Awww ... 20 dollars!? I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer Simpson: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer Simpson: Woo hoo!

That's one of my faves too

I'd have to go with:

Lisa: Dad, what's a muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man...[collapses into laughter]. So to answer your question, I don't know.

John: Homer, what have you got against gays?
Homer: You know...it's not...usual! If there was a law it would be against it.

Marge: Homer, it's easy to criticise.
Homer: Fun, too.

Homer: (waking up) Huh? What's wrong? House run away? Dog on fire?

Homer: Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Look at this bible I just got. Fifteen bucks! And talk about a preachy book. Everyone's a sinner!...except for this guy.

 

[Masterdog]

Does anyone remember the one where Homer found some glasses in the toilet, put them on and came out with some random mathematical equation?

Yup

Homer: (puts on the glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isocoleces triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.

Man in toilet: That's a right triangle you idiot!

Homer: D'oh!

 

[Naffa]

Lisa: Dad, what's a muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man...[collapses into laughter]. So to answer your question, I don't know.

I just spat water all over my keyboard.

 

[Bennie-Mac]

"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialling wand, please mash the keypad with your hand now."

Homer - The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

 

[Deep]

Flanders: Homer I've got a fozzy of a bear of a problem. Maude and her mother were visiting the twin cities of the holy land, and they must have kneeled in the wrong place and prayed to the wrong God. They are being are being held prisoners by militants of some sort
Can you watch the kids tonight?

Homer: Well i'd really wanna help you Flanders but Marge was uhhh.... taken prisoner.... in the uhh...... holy land and uhhh

 

[Nazca]

Homer: Lisa, you're a Buddhist, so you believe in reincarnation. Eventually, Snowball will be reborn as a higher lifeform... like a snowman.

Troy McClure: Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!

Australian Man: You call that a knife...This...is a knife.
Bart: That's a spoon.
Australian Man: Oh, I see you've played knifey-spooney before...

Homer: So Mr Malloy, it appears that the cat burglar has been caught by the very person that was trying to catch him.
Skinner: How ironic.

Lisa: Well thats specious reasoning Dad, by that I might conclude that this Rock keeps away Tigers.
Homer: Really How so?
Lisa: Well I doesn't, It's just a stupid Rock, but I don't see any Tigers around here do you?
Homer: I see....Lisa, I wanna buy your Rock

Homer: Hmm. I wonder why he's so eager to go to the garage?
Moe: The "garage"? Hey fellas, the "garage"! Well, ooh la di da, Mr. French Man.
Homer: Well what do you call it?
Moe: A car hole!

Kent Brockman: One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

 

[twist3d0n3]

steven hawking moe's tavern with homer bit

googled, youtube = italian and fail

 

[m0r94n]

Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, "The Never-Ending Story"

Following that:

Homer: So. Do you think I have a case?
Hutz: Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history.
Homer: Woo hoo!

 

[Garido]

Are you saying Boo or Boourns?

 

[Twentyone]

Homer: You don't win friends with salad

Homer: Just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

I tried to remember more of them but there are so many good ones and a lot of them has already been mentioned!

 

[Deleted member 651465]

You must be stupider than you look.
Homer: Stupider... like a fox!