Soldato
Save me jebus!
KaHn
KaHn
Post your favourite Simpsons quotes!
- Thread starter Nazca
- Start date
Man of Honour
- Joined
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Homer quotes 
* Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! (pause) Except the weasel.
* It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in 8 hours of TV a day.
* It takes two people to lie, one to lie and one to listen.
* Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
* Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! (pause) Except the weasel.
* It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in 8 hours of TV a day.
* It takes two people to lie, one to lie and one to listen.
* Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
Soldato
Just thought of another, one of my favourite episodes:
Carl: In exchange for that, we have to give up our dental plan.
[Everyone cheers and rushes over to the beer keg. Lenny pours a beer]
Lenny: So long, Dental Plan!
[Lenny's and Marge's words keep repeating in Homer's head]
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
[Charlie drops a pencil into Homer's butt crack]
Carl: Bullseye!
Homer: Thanks a lot, Carl. Now I've lost my train of thought.
[back to Homer's mind]
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Homer: [finally realizing] If we give up our dental plan... I'll have to pay for Lisa's braces!
Later in that episode when Homer is successful in negotating with Burns:
Not quite because damn you tube has no decent clips, but you get the idea!
Damn, looking at Season 4 there are no bad episodes. I think that has to be my favourite season. It's crazy to think that some of these early best episodes are ~20 years old almost.
Carl: In exchange for that, we have to give up our dental plan.
[Everyone cheers and rushes over to the beer keg. Lenny pours a beer]
Lenny: So long, Dental Plan!
[Lenny's and Marge's words keep repeating in Homer's head]
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
[Charlie drops a pencil into Homer's butt crack]
Carl: Bullseye!
Homer: Thanks a lot, Carl. Now I've lost my train of thought.
[back to Homer's mind]
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny: Dental Plan!
Marge: Lisa needs braces.
Homer: [finally realizing] If we give up our dental plan... I'll have to pay for Lisa's braces!
Later in that episode when Homer is successful in negotating with Burns:
Not quite because damn you tube has no decent clips, but you get the idea!
Damn, looking at Season 4 there are no bad episodes. I think that has to be my favourite season. It's crazy to think that some of these early best episodes are ~20 years old almost.
Last edited:
Soldato
- Joined
- 18 Mar 2008
- Posts
- 12,751
The one where Homer's having a BBQ at the American Football game.
Lisa: Dad do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think that the eel might have died of lonliness.
Here's another goodun
Homer: Oh Lisa, you and your stories. Bart is a vampire.... beer kills brain cells...
Lisa: Dad do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think that the eel might have died of lonliness.
Here's another goodun
Homer: Oh Lisa, you and your stories. Bart is a vampire.... beer kills brain cells...
Homer: Oh, who am I kidding? I _am_ slow.
Marge: Oh, Homey, if you feel so bad about yourself, there's always
things you can do to feel better.
Homer: Take another bath in malt liquor?
Marge: There's that...or you could take an adult education course.
Homer: Oh, and how is "education" supposed to make me feel smarter?
Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old
stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-
making course and I forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how.
Marge: Oh, Homey, if you feel so bad about yourself, there's always
things you can do to feel better.
Homer: Take another bath in malt liquor?
Marge: There's that...or you could take an adult education course.
Homer: Oh, and how is "education" supposed to make me feel smarter?
Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old
stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-
making course and I forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how.
Soldato
Just using that quote is perfect!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the hamster Nibbles not Chompy?
Great quote though, one of my favourite episodes too
From memory.
Burns: There's a rocket in my pocket Smithers.
Smithers: You don't have to tell me sir.
Burns: Smithers, you'd get down on your knees before me, wouldn't you?
Smithers: Would I!
Homer (to Bart): Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun?? Well I didn't see anyone laughing!
Mayor Quimby: That could be anybody's ass.
Mayor Quimby: Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end in us digging up a corpse?
Burns: There's a rocket in my pocket Smithers.
Smithers: You don't have to tell me sir.
Burns: Smithers, you'd get down on your knees before me, wouldn't you?
Smithers: Would I!
Homer (to Bart): Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun?? Well I didn't see anyone laughing!
Mayor Quimby: That could be anybody's ass.
Mayor Quimby: Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end in us digging up a corpse?
Caporegime
Soldato
Homer is bunking off work all week.
Phone rings and says if he doesn't come into work tomorrow (Friday) then don't bother coming in Monday.
Home shouts "Woo hoo 4 day weekend!".
Phone rings and says if he doesn't come into work tomorrow (Friday) then don't bother coming in Monday.
Home shouts "Woo hoo 4 day weekend!".
Deleted member 651465
D
Deleted member 651465
The one where Marge is on the run from Chief Wiggum..
Don
Release the hounds
Homer Simpson: Welcome to the internet, my friend, how can I help you?
Comic Book Guy: I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?
Homer Simpson: [stares blankly for a few seconds] Can I have some money now?
Jasper: Why bother voting? He's guilty.
Flanders: Well, we might as well make it official.
Homer: What does "sequestered" mean?
Skinner: If the jury is deadlocked they're put up in a hotel together so they can't communicate with the outside world.
Homer: What does "deadlocked" mean?
Skinner: It's when the jury can't agree on a verdict.
Homer: Uh huh. And "if"?
Skinner: A conjunction meaning "in the event that" or "on condition that".
Homer: So if we don't all vote the same way, we'll be deadlockedand have to be sequestered in the Springfield Palace Hotel
Patty: That's not going to happen, Homer.
Jasper: Let's vote. My liver is failing.
Homer: -- where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool, free HBO -- Ooh! "Free Willy"!
Skinner: Justice is not a frivolous thing, Simpson. It has little if anything to do with a disobedient whale. Now let's vote!
Homer: Uh, how are the rest of you voting?
Everyone: Guilty.
Homer: OK, fine. How many S's in "innocent"?
Everyone: Aw.
Homer: I'm only doing what I think is right. I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.
Chief Wiggum: (bored) A robbery, right. Thanks for the report. (hangs up) That's another one, Lou… 723 Evergreen Terrace. (Looks at a map with the robbery locations marked on it) Well, there doesn't seem to be any pattern yet, but if I take this one and move it here…and I move these over here… hello! It almost looks like an arrow!
Lou: Hey, look, Chief: it's pointing right at this police station.
Chief Wiggum: Let's get out of here!
Flanders: Well, we might as well make it official.
Homer: What does "sequestered" mean?
Skinner: If the jury is deadlocked they're put up in a hotel together so they can't communicate with the outside world.
Homer: What does "deadlocked" mean?
Skinner: It's when the jury can't agree on a verdict.
Homer: Uh huh. And "if"?
Skinner: A conjunction meaning "in the event that" or "on condition that".
Homer: So if we don't all vote the same way, we'll be deadlockedand have to be sequestered in the Springfield Palace Hotel
Patty: That's not going to happen, Homer.
Jasper: Let's vote. My liver is failing.
Homer: -- where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool, free HBO -- Ooh! "Free Willy"!
Skinner: Justice is not a frivolous thing, Simpson. It has little if anything to do with a disobedient whale. Now let's vote!
Homer: Uh, how are the rest of you voting?
Everyone: Guilty.
Homer: OK, fine. How many S's in "innocent"?
Everyone: Aw.
Homer: I'm only doing what I think is right. I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.
Chief Wiggum: (bored) A robbery, right. Thanks for the report. (hangs up) That's another one, Lou… 723 Evergreen Terrace. (Looks at a map with the robbery locations marked on it) Well, there doesn't seem to be any pattern yet, but if I take this one and move it here…and I move these over here… hello! It almost looks like an arrow!
Lou: Hey, look, Chief: it's pointing right at this police station.
Chief Wiggum: Let's get out of here!