Problem With Upstairs Neighbours Young Child

[Ben3991]

Hi,

Just posting to see if anyone has ever been in the same situation or has any further ideas of what we can do to resolve an issue.

Myself and my partner are both 23 and around 18 months ago purchased our first property. It’s only a small ground floor flat of a town house but our first home and something we worked hard for. First 6 months were fine, the upstairs flat is owned by a family in new Zealand and rented out. the tenants were no problem. After around 6 months, a new family moved in with a 2 year old daughter.

For the last year, we are woken at 6AM on our weekends by the child running all over the house upstairs causing horrendous banging. This goes on all day and on the weekend evening until 2-3AM in the morning. Our lights shake, our radiators wobble. The owner has had a few carpets replaced but to no avail, the banging is too much for any quality carpet to make a difference.

We have tried speaking to them, they are Romanian and do not speak very good English so it is difficult but they say it is not their problem, they cannot stop a child from playing. We have spoken to their property managers who seem to have little power in order to do anything. We have spoken to the council who as soon as they heard the fact is was a child, told us they couldn’t do anything regardless of the fact it was during unsociable hours.

I have now asked the owner of the property to serve them notice and offered to pay for any estate agent fees and missing rent in the time it takes to find new tenants who don’t have a young child. My inclination is however that he won’t go along with this.

Does anyone know what else we can do.

Not having the property long means it doesn’t make too much financial sense for us to move. We enquired about buying the upstairs property ourselves but the owner wanted far too much for it.

Very thankful of any ideas or help from anyone!

Thanks

 

[Ben3991]

wow its amazing how people forget they were once children.

Funnily enough, my issue is not with the 2 year old child who has no idea what its doing, it is with the parents who are letting it happen.

When I was a child I didn’t live in an upstairs flat. However if I did, my parents would not have been disrespectful enough to allow to run about all day, late at night, and very early in the morning.

How big is this kid if they're making your place shake like there's an earthquake!?

The kid is very small actually, and quite cute to be fair. But is at the age where running includes no rocking of the feet, just slamming down!

 

[Ben3991]

It's a problem with having people living above you.In our first flat, we could hear everything going on in the flat above, from talking normally to them having sex.
Short of moving I doubt you can do much. How high is your ceiling? Maybe you could put some soundproofing in...

Our ceilings our very high. Sound proofing has been looked as an option. Good quality stuff would be very exspensive, and im still not convinced would entireley work. Not mention look horrible!

 

[Ben3991]

While it sounds like the OP is just being dramatic i have a friend who has this exact same problem.

I stayed over a few times and the noise was insane... THUMP BANG CRASH... shouting crying screaming, all hours of the day and the mum just turned up her music! you had to turn your own tv up to silly levels just to concentrate on what you were watching, which seemed to make them upstairs even louder.

The council would do nothing as she was considered "vulnerable" so in the end my friend moved out and rented somewhere else. Seems the law only applies to people who are normal and chavs and scum can do as they wish and rarely get touched.

Thanks for your comment. I assure everyone were not being dramatic. Hopefully the fact we are asking to pay £550 a month in someone else’s rent until more favourable tenants are found proves this!

Also, this isn’t a new modern property, its an old townhouse, built around 1900 I believe.

 

[Ben3991]

Move...

As mentioned, we have only been in the property less than 2 years. We wouldn’t lose any money but it doesn’t make financial sense for us to move, although it is a longer term option.

Plus, its principle, we love our little home, it doesn’t seem right that we should move through the disrespect of others. We fully accept we are going to hear noise from above, but late at night, early in the morning and all day is simply crossing the line.

 

[Ben3991]

That's what children do, they play, they make noise. You will never fully respect that until you have your own.

Do you really think getting a family kicked out of a home because you can't stand the noise is fair?

Also - if you have a spare £550 a month to pay for an empty flat then why don't you get yourself a nice semi-detached house where noise won't be a problem?

Either shut up and put up, or move.

Again, letting the kid run around until 2 or 3 in the morning, is not usual or acceptable when living above someone. Just as we have to accept living below someone = some noise, people living upstairs should respect that fact also and not let a kid run around at 3 in the morning when they know it causes so much noise.

We have a fair amount of disposable income and could afford the monthly payments of moving somewhere else, but cannot borrow enough from the banks in the first place.

 

[Ben3991]

IMO it would be for you to move out rather than them. I dont know what you expect them to do but at least if you move into a different house you can choose where you live, what you are currently doing is trying to choose where your neighbours live...

Why would it be a better option for us to move?

If the noise was happening throughout the evening then that is for us to put up with. I don’t think anyone could argue with us about the fact that letting a child run about every weekend night without until 2 or 3 in the morning is anything but discourteous.

We have made it clear to them, the property managers and the owner that is not our main goal to get them moved out, our main goal is to stop the noise at very unsociable hours.

Frankly ridiculous, if you have kids and live in a flat, teach the kid to play quietly, it's that simple. The kid doesn't have to run circles in a flat to be entertained.

At my flat before moving into my bungalow end of last year, the upstairs kids were a nightmare. Thing is before those lot the old family had two kids around 4 and 7 or something and never heard a peep from them upstairs. Once of twice a day the kids went outside into the courtyard and ran around, sometimes screaming a bit though parents usually told them to keep it down. That is fine, having some noise some times is fine. Those parents were sensible, they gave them activities to do when inside and then took them out to burn off energy and get exercise a couple of times a day. That is called parenting.

Turning your tv up, ignoring your kids and letting them run around like idiots at any time of day or night is not parenting, it's being irresponsible and awful neighbours.

Somehow the kids upstairs from the second family were like 6 months and 2 years old, despite being a fraction of the weight they sound like NBA players thudding around, they bounce balls, kick the radiators which sends a vibrating/clanging noise throughout my entire ceiling, they were just awful.

They compounded letting their kids make noise all day with occasionally having all night parties, then the kids up again in the morning followed by giant fist fights that did a load of damage to the flats.

Bad neighbours can near ruin your life. Destroy your sleep, have you set on edge the entire time you're in your house. Rather than a place to relax and rest it becomes a constant source of stress which is nothing short of awful.


I'd say to the op, look around for somewhere else to live... took me ages to find a bungalow(my knees are shot so buying a house or more flats is a no go), but my god, even with a bunch of early moving in problems like damp and dodgy boiler to deal with I'm far more relaxed, far less depressed, sleep better and feel far healthier as a result.

Never again will I live somewhere with neighbours above me. Noise through the walls is one thing, it's the deep thudding noise from above you can't get away from. If a side on neighbour plays music you can put headphones on and not hear it, if someone is stamping around upstairs you can have your headphones on full blast, you still feel every thud, it's invasive and impossible to get away from.

Thank you! This is what im trying to explain. We fully expect and our happy that of course there will be noise, we live under a home, this is fully expected.

We just don’t expect it all day, and at 3AM in the morning!

 

[Ben3991]

Thanks for all your suggestions.

The sound proof plasterboard is an option. Doesn't look to expensive but I also imagine this may work better for airborne noise such as TV or voices, not so much impact noise.

Again, thank for your help!

 

[Ben3991]

So therefore you're agreeing that in both of those cases there are underlying issues that need dealing with and it is indeed not "normal" behaviour.

As mentioned, you’re making the point here it is not normal behaviour but instead because the child has autism.

It has not been made aware to us the kid upstairs has any kind of condition.

Regardless, it's not a reason to try and get a family kicked out of their home...

But what they are doing could potentially result in us moving out of our home.

 

[Ben3991]

How do you expect anyone to stop a 2 year running around exactly? Lock them up, put them in a pen? tie them down perhaps? Young children are non stop activity from the moment they wake up until they switch off. And that can be hard enough to achieve. And news flash, its only going to get worse. They get bigger and louder.

A point myself and others have made many times on here. I don't expect anyone to be able to control a 2 year old all day.

I do expect however a parent to put a stop to a child running around the house at 3 in the morning when they know it causes such noise to a family below.

If a child came up to your window and started banging on it at 3 in the morning, I don't feel your response would be that is was OK because you can't control a 2 year old.

Did you not bother reading the OP? They own the place and the one upstairs is a rental owned by a landlord.

This. Also we have spent a lot of money making our home the way we like at there is a difference in the number of bedrooms.

 

[Ben3991]

You won't lose any money, but it doesn't make financial sense to move? Those two statements contradict each other... especially as your solution for staying seems to be paying the rent of the family above when they move out, which is just pretty financially pretty bat**** crazy unless you are so loaded that money simply doesn't matter to you. It wouldn't then make financial sense to stay, either.

What about a move making sense from the perspective of your quality of life and sanity? This all sounds like pure emotional thinking, not rational, and there is a point where principle is cutting off your nose to spite your face

Why don't you offer to pay for thick carpets for the family? Failing that, and the parents, landlord or council doing nothing, your only option is to move.

We wouldn't lose money, but leaving it a few more years before we move is what we need to do as we can't borrow enough so need to pay some more off our mortgage to release equity.

 

[Ben3991]

But if you already knew they both had young children...why did you take the house then ?

Read OP - They wernt there when we decided to buy.

 

[Ben3991]

Again, thanks for all the comments.

I think some may have the wrong end of the stick. I don't expect a child to act like an adult. I don't expect to never run around and I know that controlling kids is very difficult (I have a much younger sister who was a nightmare child!)

However, the parents need to take responsibility. It's not on to let your child run around at 3 in the morning when you live above another family and know it causes a lot of noise. That is the time when as a parent you have to take responsibility and sit down with or lay down with in order not to disturb the family below.

I guess summing up, rather worryingly, I have to point out to some on here my issue and moans are not with the kid, it is with the parents!