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Proof Read My Cover Letter please

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Saberu, Jan 29, 2009.

  1. Mattus

    Capodecina

    Joined: Sep 30, 2003

    Posts: 10,899

    Location: London

    The 'real skill' the employer will be looking for in this case is the ability to write a convincing and appropriate application. If he was really looking for something vain and self-important then I imagine your letter would be just the ticket! :)
     
  2. Nimzicki

    Mobster

    Joined: Oct 18, 2002

    Posts: 2,630

    Location: London

    I already did and so have many others, how about read the replies instead of getting your back up about it.
     
  3. Neodite

    Mobster

    Joined: Sep 10, 2008

    Posts: 2,570

    Location: Grendon

    Not sure if you posted it, im to lazy to go threw the posts :p

    But can we see your portfolio? because that lyrics site in your sig (if thats yours) is awfull
     
  4. Ekim

    Mobster

    Joined: Oct 18, 2002

    Posts: 2,880

    Location: London

    Indesign is a desktop publishing software application

    Photoshop is a professional image editing application

    Indesign ≠ A fancy version of Photoshop
     
  5. gord

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 18, 2003

    Posts: 19,276

    Location: Midlands

    Why would he bother, you have shown a lack of respect to the very people you asked for help and you've shown a lack of respect in your application.
     
  6. Sinque

    Soldato

    Joined: Aug 5, 2004

    Posts: 7,385

    Location: North East England

    You ask for a proof read, there are loads of errors which we point out, then you flame us for pointing out mistakes you wanted us to find?

    I think you're just making yourself think that none of the problems will affect your chances to make yourself feel better and give yourself false hope that you might actually get the job.
     
  7. Nimzicki

    Mobster

    Joined: Oct 18, 2002

    Posts: 2,630

    Location: London

    Im bored so: both programs share the same GUI as stated before due to them both being part of the Adobe Creative Suite. This is where their similarities end.

    Photoshop is used primarily for image retouching and creation, this is all it really should be used for in a professional context. This covers many aspects such as photo retouching through to full on digital paintings. It should NOT be used for layouts or typography.

    Indesign is used primarily for layouts, typography and publishing. The way in which images work in these programs are entirely different and their outputs are also different. To say that Indesign is a clone of photoshop with templates demonstrates a gross misunderstanding of both programs and shows that you cannot use either to their potential.

    This is not an opinion, it is fact, I am a graphic designer and used both of these programs in a professional environment everyday.
     
  8. NoIdea

    Gangster

    Joined: Dec 3, 2007

    Posts: 268

    Location: Essex

    +1

    Your arrogance knows no bounds, incredible.
     
  9. uv

    Sgarrista

    Joined: May 16, 2006

    Posts: 8,434

    Location: Manchester

    Just a heads up, but on my secondary monitor at work, I have firefox windowed. I reckon it's width is ~1000px.

    At this width, the lyrics site in your link is half-covered by the flash advert to the left.
     
  10. Saberu

    Mobster

    Joined: Feb 25, 2003

    Posts: 3,263

    Location: Stafford (uni)

    Do you have Javascript disabled? I used it to give a more exact placement of the advert in that website, I made it before I was any good at design so it's a bit hacky. These days I'd lay out the site better and just use css/centering.
     
  11. Cuchulain

    Sgarrista

    Joined: Dec 28, 2004

    Posts: 7,581

    Location: Derry

    If you've put a link to that site in your sig. in your covering letter then you're not even going to be considered for an interview, unless they want to interview you for a laugh.

    It doesn't validate, the layout is completely skewed for different resolutions/screen sizes and that header image looks like my 13 month old son knocked it up in MS Paint.
     
  12. neiljung

    Gangster

    Joined: Dec 19, 2007

    Posts: 202

    You could have gone back and tweaked your existing work rather than say "I used to be crap, but now I'm great. Take my word for it." There are no actual examples that show the level of competence you claim.
     
  13. N9ne

    Hitman

    Joined: Sep 28, 2003

    Posts: 632

    Saberu, there must be a reason for you posting your cover letter here. Perhaps you weren't particularly confident in it and wanted people to say what you wanted to hear, that it is in fact just the right thing? If it's not that, then you thought it was brilliant, and you wanted to show off here (which is not dissimilar to the content of your cover letter). The last option is probably that you genuinely wanted people to proof read it. You got that, but responded in a very awkward way because you weren't hearing good comments. If you're saying it doesn't fit into any of these categories, it's probably a good candidate for not being posted in the first place.

    Furthermore, many people have drawn your attention to the fact that in reality, a cover letter is very important and a particular style is often required. Your style does not fit into any style that would normally be deemed appropriate.

    In this recession when many jobs are being cut and recruitment being scaled-down or halted entirely, and coming from a university outside of the top 50, with an attitude like that you're going to find progression in your career difficult, let alone getting through the initial stages. I do wonder what it would be like to work in a team with you!
     
  14. Saberu

    Mobster

    Joined: Feb 25, 2003

    Posts: 3,263

    Location: Stafford (uni)

    I know the site in my sig is rubbish, the ones in the letter aren't. But I'm not going to show them here, because a lot of people here are perfectionists and would denounce it even if it was averagely good just because it wasn't amazing and would go on to say I don't deserve the job.

    All I wanted was some comments on my cover letter, I was glad to get them as it showed the various mistakes with grammar and spelling but I strongly disagree with people saying my letter comes across arrogant and certainly don't think it's too coloquial.

    If I disagree with a suggestion it doesn't mean I'm being a dick it just means I disagree. I did infact agree with some of the comments in the thread and they are right about the grammar not being that good.

    I admit I didn't spend much time on it, it could have been much better but I'm just not used to having to impress people so much from one letter as this is the first full time job in the UK I've ever applied for. I'm starting to get it now that my view is not similar to the general consensus of what makes a good letter so I'll either learn to write a better one or just stay self employed.

    Anyway I think overall some of the people in this thread were a little harsh and that my letter isn't infact as arrogant as they say.
     
  15. Nimzicki

    Mobster

    Joined: Oct 18, 2002

    Posts: 2,630

    Location: London

    Not grasping this are you? If the overall feeling we got from your letter was one of arrogance what do you think your potential employer is going to get? Regardless of whether you think it is or not, WE did so other people also will.

    Couple that with you having a go at everyone that gave you their honest opinion, it doesn't bode well for you.
     
  16. Neodite

    Mobster

    Joined: Sep 10, 2008

    Posts: 2,570

    Location: Grendon

    So basicly, your work sucks, but your so far up your own ass you think your e-mazing?

    Post your sites in the HTML section if you want some real opinions from people on your work, as the only work we have seen is very below par. you could have atleast added a new banner seems your so good in photoshop. would take what? an hour max? you clearly dont deserv the job if your THAT lazy
     
  17. mjt

    Capodecina

    Joined: Aug 31, 2007

    Posts: 17,989

    right, let's have a look shall we

    contractions are a no-no for a start, and phrases such as "i can't say i've.." and "i also like to think" are not only the wrong tone in a cover letter, but do come across as strikingly arrogane
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2009
  18. neiljung

    Gangster

    Joined: Dec 19, 2007

    Posts: 202

    My initial impression was that your letter was passable, but on reading the criticism I had to concede that people were making some valid points. Some of those points were handed out with a strong slice of brutal honesty, with the emphasis on brutal, but lots of people are inclined to "play rough" on internet forums. Don't take it personally, and apply the advice given to your next application.
     
  19. A2Z

    Sgarrista

    Joined: May 9, 2005

    Posts: 8,150

    Location: London

    Good luck, you will need it with that cover letter!
     
  20. LOAM

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 20, 2004

    Posts: 11,698

    Location: Nottingham

    And to think I spent time re-writing it for him :(