Reviews on Jordan and Petre Andre's new album

the-void said:
Whaaat. All 47 reviewers have given this 5 stars. The reviews are out of this world.
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Step 1: Look up "sarcasm" in any good dictionary.

Step 2: Go back to those reviews and actually read them.

Step 3: Laugh heartily as you savour the witty comments left by said reviewers.

;) :D :D
 
Thank you, I didn't sleep very well last night and so I am rather more grumpy than normal. However, those reviews have cheered me up no end, it restores my faith in humanity. :D

Have some stars.
 
Wow im soooooooooooooooo happy!, 21 Dec 2006

Reviewer: Jordan "Jordan" (Jordan) - See all my reviews

fanks 4 all u.r nice messages aboot mine & peteys album. we put soooooo much lu.v in2 making it (i even let petey give me gary) but not the lu.v i give sherigham or hefner or yorke or beckham or ace or cobra or gatesy or oleary or scotty-boy or bowers or those others! we want this albmu 2 get 2 number 1 and we fink that it will wiv all the ppl who buy it and all the ppeeps who buy it off of amazonn and from asda price chuing! ching! ha! lol!

anyway if you dont buy it yet then amke sur e u do as all money goes to my new impla.... er... charidee not the dingle one but to gu.d causes and its really gu.d. all those haterz who said i cu.d not sing are eating apple pie now as i proved dem wrog didnt i?

i really wanted 2 sing who let the dogs out on the album as 2 pee off lollypop head vicky beackham cos this album is betta than wo.t she did wiv bowers

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roflcopter. 5 stars :D
 
Loved this

I've been studying music full time now for the past seven years of my life. I've gone from Btec level right through to the masters degree that I'm currently studying for and I can say in all honesty that I have NEVER heard an album quite like this. As has been said in previous reviews, this is a work of truly earth-shattering importance. Despite the fact that it may seem like a cynical christmas marketing ploy to extract cash from Daily Mail and Hello readers, the sheer stunning brilliance of this record cannot be overstated. It is true to say that many great artists are never appreciated in their own time so I think just to be sure, Jordan and Peter should both be killed.
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daveyj27 said:
Step 1: Look up "sarcasm" in any good dictionary.

Step 2: Go back to those reviews and actually read them.

Step 3: Laugh heartily as you savour the witty comments left by said reviewers.

;) :D :D
Click to expand...

No **** sherlock, I never knew that... :D
 
What a wonderful experience. It reminded me of that time I was walking along a running stream in a wooded glade when I spotted the water turning a pale shade of red. This I attributed to the cherry blossom that was overhanging the water's edge dropping into and colouring the water but upon further inspection. I discovered a number of floating, disgorged sheep, guts and entrails spewing out and blood trailing along in swirls behind each carcass. I shall always treasure that moment as I shall this album.
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Mega :D
 
Restored my eyesight after 36 years - Truly marvellous!, 22 Dec 2006

Reviewer: D. Marshall "No Longer Blind." (UK) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
Just before I was born, my mother refused to buy clothes pegs from an old Gipsy woman that came to our door, the old gipsy woman said that from that day forward, my mother would be cursed, struck blind and crippled with arthritis. Unfortunately, it was me that was blind and crippled with arthritis, that was until I heard Katie and Peter's hot new LP.

I was sat there blind and in pain with my joints as usual and "A whole new world" came on the stereo. It was like magic, I began to see lights and then colours, and before I knew it, I could see everything. It truly was "A Whole New World".

If there are any other people in my predicament that are reading this, then dont hesitate, it really is "A Whole New World"
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lol :)

loving these reviews :)
 
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Comatose wife recovers!, 22 Dec 2006
Reviewer:Gary R. Doyle "Mr Happy" (Switzerland) - See all my reviews
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After an unfortunate accident at home my wife slipped into a coma and after a few days when the dirty plates and so on had piled up I noticed and had her taken to a hospital.

The Doctors said they could do nothing for her and she just lay there wired up to a machine that beeped. The Doctors told me that if I talked to her then it might stimulate her to recovery but even after ten minutes there was no change so I went home to watch the football (Everton vs Chelsea, both sides had notable absentees which, considering the relative squad depths of the two, was likely to impact on Everton more so than the Stamford Bridge outfit. David Moyes will be without suspended midfield dynamo Tim Cahill, whose recent return to goal scoring form has coincided with Everton's mini-revival in the Premiership after an abysmal start) but I didn't get a chance to watch all the game because I had to surf the net. With my wife out of the picture I was looking on the internet for some kind stimuli and having been disappointed by the content on Katie Holme's website. Paris Hilton's download "one night in Paris" did the trick and keen for more I followed some links for Jordan. Well before I knew it, I had ordered some products.

Imagine my disappointment 10-14 days later when I received a CD and not a DVD! But that was short lived as I visited the hospital to check on the wife and have her sign some cheques by putting the pen in her hand and moving the paper around underneath. In the hospital room was a CD player and so as I left to pop around to an old girlfriends I popped this CD on and hit auto-replay.

The following morning much refreshed I visited the wife again (a new cheque book had arrived in the post) and I was amazed to see that tears were running from the corners of my comatose wife's eyes. Elation! The Doctors say that this is a miracle and have instructed that the album be played back-to-back via headphones to my wife until she recovers.

Her return to consciousness and some clean clothes are hopefully just around the corner -

Thank you Jordan and Peter!
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Pure LOL!! :D:D
 
I've been studying music full time now for the past seven years of my life. I've gone from Btec level right through to the masters degree that I'm currently studying for and I can say in all honesty that I have NEVER heard an album quite like this. As has been said in previous reviews, this is a work of truly earth-shattering importance. Despite the fact that it may seem like a cynical christmas marketing ploy to extract cash from Daily Mail and Hello readers, the sheer stunning brilliance of this record cannot be overstated. It is true to say that many great artists are never appreciated in their own time so I think just to be sure, Jordan and Peter should both be killed.
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oh that just made me weep... *roffles* :D
 
When I listen to 'Tonight I Celebrate My Love For You,' I think of the beautiful sorrow of parting that Peter must feel when he is alone in his hotel room able only to watch Jordan's oral talents on the Pay TV service. Timeless classics so modern that you feel reborn and as blessedly ignorant as a new child gush forth in a manner so modest and reserved that it almost seems like ostentation. How can two monstrous talents such as these, who so shun public exposure, have plucked up the courage to make this bold, vibrant statement of artistic splendour? And lets not forget Peter's contribution either.
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:D :D :D :D :D
 
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