Seems to be the month for it: Girl Thread inc

i think you should stay friends, i was in the friend zone at one point, my best mate then got in there b4 me which was kinda my fault, he ended up screwing her within a week of going..........

it didn't last long, she is now feels sick everytime she sees him and wants to kick his face in, i am still best friends with him and after admitting my feelings to her i am even better friends with her!! you wouldn't believe it ;)
 
shifty_uk said:
Jeezuzz.... Do people not talk anymore? Is verbal communication obsolete?

Everyone of these threads would be solved pure and simple by a 'I know you're heartbroken, I like you, wanna have a go IF NOT I think our friendship is great and would like it to continue'.....Or words to that effect.

Come on man.
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I agree with this tbh. I know the stakes are potentially high but the positives are high too. If she's that good a friend then I don't think a comment of intent would spoil it that much. One thing you need to remember is that when she find someone else your relationship will change.

I had a similar situation a few years ago, my best friend (female) and I ended up getting together. We were together on and off for about a year (kept deciding we were being silly but then getting back together) and after we finally broke up for good it was a little awkward for a bit but we worked through it. We're now just friends, not because if the time we spent together but because she met a guy and got married.
 
krooton said:
I'd like to throw in an oft forgotten view on OCUK... that women make PERFECTLY GOOD FRIENDS.

My best and closest friend of 12 years is a lady, my core circle of friends has twice as many wimmins as doods.

If you get on amazingly well as mates, then just enjoy having a great mate. 99.9% of the time getting physical will changes things, and they can not be reset back.
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There is a difference though and in a way there are only small differences between best female friend and girlfriend. If you're mentally attracted and physically attracted then there is only (admittedly the most important part) chemistry remaining...

I have a lot of hot female friends and most of my best friends are female yet I can safely say very few of them would i contemplate liking more than a friend, those would be the ones i quite fancied to begin with.

In other words if the OP does really like her then friends just isn't good enough.

EDIT: As for the whole "head on lap" being friends zone, the girl I mentioned above used to do that with me, then one day I plucked up the courage and went in for tbe kiss... I don't regret it even if we only lasted a year... On the other hand if her best friend is warning you away then maybe you shold hold back, or at least guage her feelings.
 
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you know many moons ago i used to be like this:

i would get to know a woman and the attraction for me developed i as got to know her better etc...but apparently if you take your time and get to know her that sticks you in the friend zone and she just uses you as an emotional crutch.

What i do now is. I dont bother taking weeks to get to know about their lives, family blah blah blah or any of that bull

I flirt like mad straight away and if she reciprocates then i flat out tell her that im attracted to her. If she puts me down, rejection or whatever thats cool coz then we can be friends and i move on to the next one. Why waste time with someone who is just basically messing with your mind? So get it out in the open straight away. Its called taking control of the situation. If she THEN tries it on with me much later after we are friends then i'd probably take advantage of it but tell her its only FWB nothing more. Plenty of women out there its madness to get hung up on one. Why not just hand her your balls now and get it over with....
 
Its pretty simple, a shot at a relationship IS worth losing her friendship over, or you wouldn't have brought it up.

You basically love this chick, and she's hurting over previous relationship, thats how birds are, break up, hurt, hurt, find new guy, get over it.

Ask her out, if she says no, thats what men need, you get an answer, have an ackward couple weeks, then spot something else that will bang you and fall in love with another woman, end of.

If you don't ask her, you'll pine for her, for ages, and it will get worse and worse, then she'll find someone else and you'll do the jealous "I wish that was me" thing and grow to resent her, at which point the friendship is done anyway.

Don't be a girl, ask her out, best outcome is you end up together and she gets better and you're happy, worst outcome is you get over her pretty sharpish and don't end up the jealous want to be boyfriend then things go back to normal.
 
I agree it is better to go for it straight away and flirt, if it fails then go for friends. It's harder to go from friends to a relationship incase it doesn't work.

But still I wouldn't not give it a try, it just isn't the best way. If you are careful it can be solved by abit of clever communication.

Don't spill your guts out just incase, but be like "I like you, wanna give it a go?"
 
Friend zone for sure, You have no chance.

I'd also back off with the head on lap **** etc also. You are going to get so burned here it's cringe worthy, As soon as she starts to see some guy you are going to be like a little broken puppy. Not worth the heart or ball ache imo.
 
She will use you to fix the bits of her that are broken. When she's ready to start properly dating again (note : she won't have been properly dating you, just using you) she'll then dump you and run off with some guy who plays in a band.

The rebound rule sucks, man.
 
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