Soldato
- Joined
- 31 May 2009
- Posts
- 21,456
[FnG]magnolia;22685373 said:
Magnolly pls....
Share your dating tips
- Thread starter [FnG]magnolia
- Start date
Magnolly pls....
Permabanned
[FnG]magnolia;22684996 said:
Typically reel them in then throw them back. When it boils down to it I prefer being single.
This is perhaps the best post I've ever seen on this forum.
Man of Honour
Follow her until you pluck up enough courage to say something then ask her if she’d like to try some gaming with you. If she smiles tell her all about your pc and monitor......
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
I feel faint even contemplating this.
You wake up and you are JT. You look down at your chiselled abs and cup yourself. It's like touching God but better. Your growing erection knocks down your entire apartment and OH GOD ITS HAPPENING AGAIN SOMEONE SEND HELP
I stare longingly, start to hyper ventilate.
The left side of me goes numb, I have never been this excited!
I fall off the side of my chair, she screams in excitement!
She calls a cab that's much quicker than normal, I am in bed with her seducing me in a doctors out fit faster than I could possibly have wished for.
I woke up to find she has gone and not left her number. Score! No awkward breakfast together, just time to sit back and enjoy the **** bank.
I hear giggling in full flow, it sounds like two women! She must have called her friend for round two this morning. Defiantly a keeper
The left side of me goes numb, I have never been this excited!
I fall off the side of my chair, she screams in excitement!
She calls a cab that's much quicker than normal, I am in bed with her seducing me in a doctors out fit faster than I could possibly have wished for.
I woke up to find she has gone and not left her number. Score! No awkward breakfast together, just time to sit back and enjoy the **** bank.
I hear giggling in full flow, it sounds like two women! She must have called her friend for round two this morning. Defiantly a keeper
Man of Honour
My Top Tip.
Supermarkets are brilliant places to nab a Doris as the method is easy & Doris can't resist helping a guy out as they are caught unawares & are not expecting to be chatted up.
Grab a basket & sling a few bachelor food stuffs in it then wander about looking for your target
D) Then pick something off the shelf & wander up to her & ask her a question about it, Then it's up to you how you play it. Personally I never chat up a Doris the first time I speak to her I just get her to recognise me for the next time we bump into each other. This could be ten minuts later at the till Q or somewhere else in town or out & about at a later date, Either way she will recognise me & then I go in with the Rag etc 
Supermarkets are brilliant places to nab a Doris as the method is easy & Doris can't resist helping a guy out as they are caught unawares & are not expecting to be chatted up.
Grab a basket & sling a few bachelor food stuffs in it then wander about looking for your target
D) Then pick something off the shelf & wander up to her & ask her a question about it, Then it's up to you how you play it. Personally I never chat up a Doris the first time I speak to her I just get her to recognise me for the next time we bump into each other. This could be ten minuts later at the till Q or somewhere else in town or out & about at a later date, Either way she will recognise me & then I go in with the Rag etc [FnG]magnolia;22685673 said:
Now now, I've got just the antidote for such shenanigans.
I realise this may be just the recipe for you travelling half way around the world, hunting me down and killing me in cold blood.
but I couldn't think of anything worse than waking up and being JT
now, waking up and being JB. Yummy yummy yes please
Make sure you wear your best underwear on date night.
There's nothing more embarrassing than her peeling off your jeans in a slightly tipsy, we-both-know-we-can-do-better-but-I've-invested-two-unfulfilled-evenings-in-this-now-so-we-are-going-to-have-mediocre-sex-and-we-are-going-to-act-like-it's-incredible-and-convince-ourselves-it-wasn't-all-that-bad frenzy than for her to be greeted by that pair that were once boxers but are now more like a loincloth with an elasticated waistband that you just can't bring yourself to bin because "I spent 50p on these and I'm getting the use out of them, god dammit!" even though it looks like you have some rare genital disease that consumes cotton and makes it look like something out of 28 Days Later.
There's nothing more embarrassing than her peeling off your jeans in a slightly tipsy, we-both-know-we-can-do-better-but-I've-invested-two-unfulfilled-evenings-in-this-now-so-we-are-going-to-have-mediocre-sex-and-we-are-going-to-act-like-it's-incredible-and-convince-ourselves-it-wasn't-all-that-bad frenzy than for her to be greeted by that pair that were once boxers but are now more like a loincloth with an elasticated waistband that you just can't bring yourself to bin because "I spent 50p on these and I'm getting the use out of them, god dammit!" even though it looks like you have some rare genital disease that consumes cotton and makes it look like something out of 28 Days Later.
My Top Tip.
Supermarkets are brilliant places to nab a Doris as the method is easy & Doris can't resist helping a guy out as they are caught unawares & are not expecting to be chatted up.
Grab a basket & sling a few bachelor food stuffs in it then wander about looking for your target
Man, you're my hero.
Because the only thing worse than the above underwear scenario is said female taking off your jeans to notice that you have made an emergency stop in them - something which would otherwise go unnoticed with dark coloured underwear.
Urgh, boys are disgusting
Disguising skidmarks is just as bad, just because you can't see them doesn't mean they're not there
