Winner!
So baby shark and daddy shark are out having a swim..........
- Thread starter PapaLazaru
- Start date
Winner!
Soldato
Soldato
Don't do it man, don't do it!
A guy goes to a bee keeper and asks for 10 bees to start up a hive. The bee keeper goes away and comes back with a jar full of bees. The guy counts and says to the bee keeper 'hey you have given me 1 extra bee'. The bee keeper says...yes sir that is a freebie......
...I will get my coat
...I will get my coat
Caporegime
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It got so cold it froze up and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As it lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the little bird singing, and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out-and then ate him.
The morals of the story are:
1. Not everyone who drops **** on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
3. When you're in deep ****, keep your mouth shut.
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How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, it's not the bulb that doesn't work, it's the system!
A passing cat heard the little bird singing, and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out-and then ate him.
The morals of the story are:
1. Not everyone who drops **** on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
3. When you're in deep ****, keep your mouth shut.
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How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, it's not the bulb that doesn't work, it's the system!
Man of Honour
DID SOMEBODY SAY TALKING SHARKS LOL?
Soldato
A mother firefly was taking her children for an outing near dusk, and they came to dark woods. "All right, kids," she ordered, "line up, and whatever happens, don't shine your light. There are owls in the forest and they might fly down and eat you!"
The small fireflies did as they were told, with the youngest firefly at the end of the line. As they were moving carefully along, suddenly the mother saw a light far back. "Stop!" she whispered. "Who lit the light back there?"
"I did," admitted the youngster.
"You heard what I told you," scolded the mother. "Why did you disobey?"
"Well," said the little one, "when you gotta glow, you gotta glow."
The small fireflies did as they were told, with the youngest firefly at the end of the line. As they were moving carefully along, suddenly the mother saw a light far back. "Stop!" she whispered. "Who lit the light back there?"
"I did," admitted the youngster.
"You heard what I told you," scolded the mother. "Why did you disobey?"
"Well," said the little one, "when you gotta glow, you gotta glow."
Soldato
My turn:
Two giants are walking around with their heads above the clouds...
One says to the other "Where are we?"
"I don't know, I'll check" He replies.
He sticks his hand down below the clouds and feels about for a bit. "Were in Paris."
"How do you know that?", "I can feel the Eiffle Tower" he replies.
A little while later and one says to the other "Where are we now?"
"I don't know, I'll check" the other replies.
He sticks his hand down below the clouds and feels about for a bit. "Were in London."
"How do you know that?", "I can feel Big Ben" he replies.
A short while later and one says to the other "Well where are we now?"
"I don't know, I'll check" the other replies.
He sticks his hand down below the clouds and feels about for a bit. "Were in Liverpool" he says.
"How do you know that?", "Some scouse **** took my watch!"
Two giants are walking around with their heads above the clouds...
One says to the other "Where are we?"
"I don't know, I'll check" He replies.
He sticks his hand down below the clouds and feels about for a bit. "Were in Paris."
"How do you know that?", "I can feel the Eiffle Tower" he replies.
A little while later and one says to the other "Where are we now?"
"I don't know, I'll check" the other replies.
He sticks his hand down below the clouds and feels about for a bit. "Were in London."
"How do you know that?", "I can feel Big Ben" he replies.
A short while later and one says to the other "Well where are we now?"
"I don't know, I'll check" the other replies.
He sticks his hand down below the clouds and feels about for a bit. "Were in Liverpool" he says.
"How do you know that?", "Some scouse **** took my watch!"
Once upon a time, in the purple kingdom of Purpalon, there lived a purple king. One purple day this purple King, who was purply named Purple Purple the fifth, called his purple son, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth, over to his purple side.
"My purple son," the purple king said to purple prince Purple Purple the sixth, "in another purple kingdom a very short purple distance away there lives another purple king. This purple king has a purple princess that I think that you should marry. Here she is, the purple Princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia."
Purple prince Purple Purple the sixth, upon seeing the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia, agreed to marry her. And so, one fine purple day, in the purple garden, Prince Purple Purple the sixth and stood by the purple altar and watched his purple bride-to-be, the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia, march down the purple aisle wearing a purple wedding dress and carrying a bouquet of purple flowers. Just as the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia reached the purple altar, however, an evil purple magician appeared and cast a purple spell on the purple princess. In a purply moment, the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia had vanished.
"What have you done?" cried the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth.
"I have sent the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia to a purple cave in the purple mountain Mount Purpletop. There, in her purple cave, she is guarded by the purple dragon Purplefang. The purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia is purply safe there, but the purple dragon Purplefang, will not let her rejoin the purple kingdoms of Purpalon and Purplonia."
"You are purply insane," the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth said to the Purple magician, but the purple magician had vanished.
"What are you going to do, my purple son?" the purple king Purple Purple the fifth of Purpalon asked his son, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth.
"I am going to take my purple horse, Purple Lightning, and my purple sword, Purple Death, and go slay the purple dragon Purplefang and rescue the fair purple maiden the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia."
"May the purple God speed you well on your purple journey," the purple king Purple Purple the fifth of Purpalon purply blessed his purple son, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth. With that, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth got his purple sword, Purple Death, and his purple horse, Purple Lightning, and rode off to the purple mountain of Mount Purpletop and the purple cave thereon, in which lived the purple dragon Purplefang and his purple prisoner the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia.
The purple hero of this purple story, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon, rode his purple horse Purple Lightning over many purple miles over many purple roads and through many purple fields. He crossed many purple streams and many purple mountains, though none of them were the purple mountain of Mount Purpletop and the purple cave thereon, in which lived the purple dragon Purplefang and his purple prisoner the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia. When the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth crossed these purple mountains, he trudged his way through purple snow. Purple sand lined the purple deserts he crossed, and there was purple water in the purple oasises.
Eventually, the purple horse Purple Lightning got tired, so the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth carried his purple horse Purple Lightning over many purple miles over many purple roads and through many purple fields. He crossed many purple streams and many purple mountains, though none of them were the purple mountain of Mount Purpletop and the purple cave thereon, in which lived the purple dragon Purplefang and his purple prisoner the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia. When the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth crossed these purple mountains, he trudged his way through purple snow. Purple sand lined the purple deserts he crossed, and there was purple water in the purple oasises.
Finally, the Purple prince Purple Purple the sixth reached the purple mountain Mount Purpletop. There, in a purple cave on top of the purple mountain, Prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon could see the purple smoke from the purple dragon Purplefang who lived in the purple cave in which the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia was a purple prisoner. Our purple hero, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon, climbed the purple mountain Mount Purpletop and slew the purple dragon Purplefang as the purple beast slept purply. The purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon rescued the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia. But their purple adventures were not yet come to their purple close. They still had to get home purple and sound.
So...
The purple hero of this purple story, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon, and the newly rescued purple heroine, the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia, rode the purple horse Purple Lightning over many purple miles over many purple roads and through many purple fields. He crossed many purple streams and many purple mountains, though none of them were the same purple mountain of Mount Purpletop which in the purple cave thereon the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth slew the purple dragon Purplefang and rescued the purple prisoner the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia. When the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth crossed these purple mountains, he trudged his way through purple snow. Purple sand lined the purple deserts he crossed, and there was purple water in the purple oasises.
Eventually, the purple horse Purple Lightning got tired, so the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth carried his purple horse Purple Lightning and the newly rescued purple heroine, the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia, over many purple miles over many purple roads and through many purple fields. He crossed many purple streams and many purple mountains, though none of them were the same purple mountain of Mount Purpletop which in the purple cave thereon the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth slew the purple dragon Purplefang and rescued the purple prisoner the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia. When the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth crossed these purple mountains, he trudged his way through purple snow. Purple sand lined the purple deserts he crossed, and there was purple water in the purple oasises.
Eventually, The purple hero of this purple story, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon, got tired, so the newly rescued purple heroine, the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia, carried the purple horse Purple Lightning and the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon over many purple miles over many purple roads and through many purple fields. She crossed many purple streams and many purple mountains, though none of them were the same purple mountain of Mount Purpletop which in the purple cave thereon the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth slew the purple dragon Purplefang and rescued the purple prisoner the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia. When the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth crossed these purple mountains, he trudged his way through purple snow. Purple sand lined the purple deserts he crossed, and there was purple water in the purple oasises.
Purple alases and purple alaks, though, for it seems our purple heroes, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon and the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia got lost on their way home, for they wandered into the purple kingdom of an evil purple king, the evil purple king Purple Purponovov of Purplovia. This evil purple man had the purple heroes,the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon and the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia, arrested and thrown into the purple dungeon. Just before the evil purple king Purple Purponovov of Purplovia threw them in, however, he said....
"Indigo."
"My purple son," the purple king said to purple prince Purple Purple the sixth, "in another purple kingdom a very short purple distance away there lives another purple king. This purple king has a purple princess that I think that you should marry. Here she is, the purple Princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia."
Purple prince Purple Purple the sixth, upon seeing the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia, agreed to marry her. And so, one fine purple day, in the purple garden, Prince Purple Purple the sixth and stood by the purple altar and watched his purple bride-to-be, the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia, march down the purple aisle wearing a purple wedding dress and carrying a bouquet of purple flowers. Just as the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia reached the purple altar, however, an evil purple magician appeared and cast a purple spell on the purple princess. In a purply moment, the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia had vanished.
"What have you done?" cried the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth.
"I have sent the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia to a purple cave in the purple mountain Mount Purpletop. There, in her purple cave, she is guarded by the purple dragon Purplefang. The purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia is purply safe there, but the purple dragon Purplefang, will not let her rejoin the purple kingdoms of Purpalon and Purplonia."
"You are purply insane," the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth said to the Purple magician, but the purple magician had vanished.
"What are you going to do, my purple son?" the purple king Purple Purple the fifth of Purpalon asked his son, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth.
"I am going to take my purple horse, Purple Lightning, and my purple sword, Purple Death, and go slay the purple dragon Purplefang and rescue the fair purple maiden the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia."
"May the purple God speed you well on your purple journey," the purple king Purple Purple the fifth of Purpalon purply blessed his purple son, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth. With that, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth got his purple sword, Purple Death, and his purple horse, Purple Lightning, and rode off to the purple mountain of Mount Purpletop and the purple cave thereon, in which lived the purple dragon Purplefang and his purple prisoner the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia.
The purple hero of this purple story, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon, rode his purple horse Purple Lightning over many purple miles over many purple roads and through many purple fields. He crossed many purple streams and many purple mountains, though none of them were the purple mountain of Mount Purpletop and the purple cave thereon, in which lived the purple dragon Purplefang and his purple prisoner the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia. When the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth crossed these purple mountains, he trudged his way through purple snow. Purple sand lined the purple deserts he crossed, and there was purple water in the purple oasises.
Eventually, the purple horse Purple Lightning got tired, so the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth carried his purple horse Purple Lightning over many purple miles over many purple roads and through many purple fields. He crossed many purple streams and many purple mountains, though none of them were the purple mountain of Mount Purpletop and the purple cave thereon, in which lived the purple dragon Purplefang and his purple prisoner the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia. When the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth crossed these purple mountains, he trudged his way through purple snow. Purple sand lined the purple deserts he crossed, and there was purple water in the purple oasises.
Finally, the Purple prince Purple Purple the sixth reached the purple mountain Mount Purpletop. There, in a purple cave on top of the purple mountain, Prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon could see the purple smoke from the purple dragon Purplefang who lived in the purple cave in which the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia was a purple prisoner. Our purple hero, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon, climbed the purple mountain Mount Purpletop and slew the purple dragon Purplefang as the purple beast slept purply. The purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon rescued the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia. But their purple adventures were not yet come to their purple close. They still had to get home purple and sound.
So...
The purple hero of this purple story, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon, and the newly rescued purple heroine, the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia, rode the purple horse Purple Lightning over many purple miles over many purple roads and through many purple fields. He crossed many purple streams and many purple mountains, though none of them were the same purple mountain of Mount Purpletop which in the purple cave thereon the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth slew the purple dragon Purplefang and rescued the purple prisoner the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia. When the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth crossed these purple mountains, he trudged his way through purple snow. Purple sand lined the purple deserts he crossed, and there was purple water in the purple oasises.
Eventually, the purple horse Purple Lightning got tired, so the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth carried his purple horse Purple Lightning and the newly rescued purple heroine, the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia, over many purple miles over many purple roads and through many purple fields. He crossed many purple streams and many purple mountains, though none of them were the same purple mountain of Mount Purpletop which in the purple cave thereon the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth slew the purple dragon Purplefang and rescued the purple prisoner the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia. When the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth crossed these purple mountains, he trudged his way through purple snow. Purple sand lined the purple deserts he crossed, and there was purple water in the purple oasises.
Eventually, The purple hero of this purple story, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon, got tired, so the newly rescued purple heroine, the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia, carried the purple horse Purple Lightning and the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon over many purple miles over many purple roads and through many purple fields. She crossed many purple streams and many purple mountains, though none of them were the same purple mountain of Mount Purpletop which in the purple cave thereon the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth slew the purple dragon Purplefang and rescued the purple prisoner the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia. When the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth crossed these purple mountains, he trudged his way through purple snow. Purple sand lined the purple deserts he crossed, and there was purple water in the purple oasises.
Purple alases and purple alaks, though, for it seems our purple heroes, the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon and the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia got lost on their way home, for they wandered into the purple kingdom of an evil purple king, the evil purple king Purple Purponovov of Purplovia. This evil purple man had the purple heroes,the purple prince Purple Purple the sixth of Purpalon and the purple princess Purplina Purple of Purplonia, arrested and thrown into the purple dungeon. Just before the evil purple king Purple Purponovov of Purplovia threw them in, however, he said....
"Indigo."