Some advice on letting a mate down

[geeza]

Me and one of my mates are off travelling for a year quite soon and I noticed that one of my friends on facebook wanted to go travelling aswell. Not thinking it through I asked him if he wanted to come and said he is definatley up for it.

We have only met him once before at a night a few weeks ago and he is the friend of a friend.

How do I tell him (without sounding like a nob) that we dont really want him to come? I dont want him to be all excited looking through stuff to sort out then be told nearer the time that he cant come with us.

Do I just say that we dont really know him, because we dont and me and my mates have been good mates and room mates for years. But then he might want to go out for drink n all that. Plus going travelling as a 3 instead of 2 is more awkward when getting rooms n stuff i imagine (and hiring mopeds etc)

 

[Luke15]

How can he be your mate, if you wont let him go with you?


I would be happy to have more people. More the merrier if i was in your situation.

 

[iCraig]

Why don't you want him to come? Don't you or your other mates like him?

Unless there's a proper reason why he can't go, I would just let him and use the trip to get to know him. He could become your best mate one day, you never know.

 

[Dj_Jestar]

Either let him join ya and try and use it to get to know him, or just be honest.. there's no way of letting someone down without at the very least looking a little like a nob.

 

[geeza]

I would only go travelling for a whole year with a very select few of my mates. (about 5 at the most) We have met the guy once remember in a not so sober state at a dance night!

 

[Efour]

one of the best things about traveling is you get to find out about your "real mates"

2 of mine fell out over a pair of 50p flip flops in India and now they dont speak to each other,,, that was 10 years ago.

Just invite the geezer chances are he or you will go off to do your own things anyway.

the whole point of it is to meet and experience new women, i mean people just go with flow bro.

 

[Participant]

Tell him - change of plan you've decided to go it alone cause you meet more foreign poontang that way.

 

[Phalanx]

let him go with you, unless he's actually incredibly repulsive you'll be surprised at how spending time with people who aren't necessarilly your "first" friends can actually be a really good experience. Some of the best people I know aren't my first friends.

 

[Mr Nice]

Tell them that you and your mate are gay and that three is a crowd.


Guaranteed to get rid of him

 

[Dj_Jestar]

I would only go travelling for a whole year with a very select few of my mates. (about 5 at the most) We have met the guy once remember in a not so sober state at a dance night!

Have you ever moved into a flat/house share?

Same bag.

 

[geeza]

Have you ever moved into a flat/house share?

Same bag.

yes, have lived in shared accom for the past 4 years. Doesnt mean I would travel for a whole year with all my housemates though. Travelling you are together most of the time, living together at least you can escape to your own room or go to friends houses etc

 

[Jaffa_Cake]

Be honost, tell him he's a nice person but you don't know him well enough to go travelling.

^^ some serious advice

 

[trojan698]

Tell them that you and your mate are gay and that three is a crowd.


Guaranteed to get rid of him

Q.F.T

You worried he might steal some of your manlove? Seriously though, why would you want to limit yourself to travelling with only 1 other person? Travelling involves spending a LOT of time together and it'll be good to have a 3rd person to talk to. Chill out, it'll be awesome.

 

[Oblivious]

Been in a similar situation, we just organised the details in private and were very vague about what we were doing.

Worked a treat. Offending person didnt come.

 

[wizard91]

Been in a similar situation, we just organised the details in private and were very vague about what we were doing.

Worked a treat. Offending person didnt come.

Thats a bit cowardly isnt it? I think most people would just say streight up that they are not so sure that they should come with them.

 

[Deiwos]

Be honost, tell him he's a nice person but you don't know him well enough to go travelling.

^^ some serious advice

Seconded.

 

[Oblivious]

Thats a bit cowardly isnt it? I think most people would just say streight up that they are not so sure that they should come with them.

Not really. Because he knew we were going, just didnt know the details.

Im not going on holiday and having some dude I spoke to once or twice try and latch on.

 

[Superdude]

Just be blunt and tell him, trust me, you made the offer and it's your decision to back down. If he takes it badly then he obviously wouldn't be suitable to travel with.

Don't leave him to get any more excited about going.

Personally I agree with your choice of limiting travelling partners. Unless I really know the friend I always travel alone or with people I meet on the way. You get to do what you want and have space when you want it.

I've had bad experiences with traveling partners not being as confident as me and chickening out of everything. There is nothing worse than being forced to get a flight because there MIGHT be a few problems crossing a boarder by foot.

 

[Hellsmk2]

Dude you're going travelling for a year. You'll meet lots of people whilst abroad doing the same thing and probably travel around with others you've met whilst out there anyway.

Let him come along if he isn't an idiot. You'll probably get a whole lot more out of the experience with a third person there to bounce things off. It's part of travelling really...