Some life advice appreciated

[gingergamer]

Can I firstly stress that I really do hate to be making this kind of topic. I apologise for the rant and lengthy post, as there’s XXXX number of people in an identical situation and not for a second do I consider myself a special *********.

But with no objective opinion to turn to in real life at the moment and a lot of the members here straight talking, wiser and more experienced than myself, I thought I might as well get some food for thought.


I’m 24 now, being quite the computer geek growing up and always interested in tech, I studied computing back in college. After deferring studying networking at uni to work for a bit, I got involved in recreational drug use for a couple years which led to a ‘living for the now mentality’ stuck in a catering job to pay for my weekend nightlife (I’d like to point out that is all behind me and has been for some years now, and I have been through MH therapy which finished earlier this year).

This lifestyle, and somewhat downward spiral, was likely recognised by my family, as 5 years ago this January I was offered a role by my uncle at his small, independent (however most successful in our town) financial services, starting as a mortgage administrator and going on to get the necessary qualification to become a mortgage adviser myself March 2017, as well as basically the office manager at present. And the job role really is comfortable. Pay is good, office location brilliant, I can have time off where needed - he even said I could have a month off to go travelling next year if I wanted when the topic came up.

I can’t explain the gratitude I have for his support over the years, he’s always been someone I can go to for advice in general life and has done masses for me in this job.


However, even working with very successful self-employed mortgage advisers showcasing the career potential possible, I can’t help but feel so incredibly lost in life right now. It’s probably accurate to assume that there is not one broker in my office that loves mortgages, and it actually saddens me to think about my future unfolding as quickly as it seems to be currently, to then look back and wonder why I stayed where I was all that time.


I don’t have any get up and go about my current role. Despite being qualified for over 18 months now building up a client bank has been very slow/non-existent, and I can’t ignore a large part of that fact being my lack of motivation for the industry. There is very little I am in fact motivated for. It’s spells of intense passion and motivation that seem to die off after a few months at most, and then back to existing the day in-day out cycle of life.


But I feel like I am at such an impasse with no options. The thought of staying where I am, doing what I do for the rest of it pains me every single day, with this voice in the back of my mind telling me I got to be cut out for more than this surely.

With no family or emotional connection to you guys I suppose I’m after some sort of raw, unsweetened, truthful guidance and advice which I would usually get from my uncle. I apologise if this is a bit much for a Monday, but I had to get something out somewhere!

 

[SPG]

Suck it up during the day,

Work your ass off and sacrifice time and money into something you "think you would enjoy" and gain a qualification in in the evenings weekends.

Unfortunately there is no easy way out of steady full time job apart from more graft to get out to find another one or you get lucky, so for anything decent your looking at 2-3 years maybe doing the same thing your doing now. The flip side of this is doing the same thing your doing now (financial services) for the next 30+ years.

No brainier really........ back to study for you.

 

[Semple]

As above, there's no easy way out of a full time job that already has a good salary. Most jumps into a completely different industry require significant salary drops (starting at the bottom of the ladder etc). The big thing though is that you have to be serious/dedicated about a change. You don't want to waste the next 5 years of your life getting into another industry to then realise you've got the same feelings.

All I can say is you need to have a serious think about what kind of things you enjoy. You said you quite enjoyed tech/computing back at school/college, but you might well find that these things don't actually interest you anymore.

 

[gingergamer]

I appreciate the comments, and to be honest wouldn’t have a problem dropping back down to a starter salary if I changed industry. If I’m enjoying the work I’ll worry about the money coming later. It’s just knowing what jump to make and taking action.

But that’s the thing, I have no idea what I really want to do right now, yet everyone around me seems to be perfectly happy with the direction they’re heading in?

If I had to choose one strong interest I still have, whilst broad I know, it would be computers. It’s been the most consistent thing throughout my life so think I’ll do some research on entry roles along those lines.

 

[Quartz]

Take your month off, not only to go travelling, but to think about your life. And you'll be doing that thinking away from work.

You say you are the de facto office manager; do you have any management qualifications? Because that might be another route forward.

 

[dowie]

Did you ever actually go to university in the end? With no degree your options are perhaps a bit more limited.

You've currently benefited from, quite literally, nepotism. I'd be wary of throwing that away especially if you've not really got a clear direction anyway, why not aim to follow your previous (general) choice albeit on a part time basis - i.e. enrolling in the OU or London International program or Birkbeck (since your location says London) - you could follow an undergrad in computer science or similar via any of those in 4 years if you're prepared to work for it meanwhile you'll have a solid period of work experience on your CV too to make up for the earlier gap/silly years.

Perhaps during that process you might get a better idea of what you actually want to do with your life, you could switch jobs while completing your undergrad or perhaps you might find that an MSc is useful for whatever you become interested in and your undergrad is the key to that... you'll have 4 years to save up the extra cash needed for say a 1 year full time or a further 2 years of part time study.

 

[A2Z]

Your uncle sounds like a decent person, you should talk to him about how you feel.

 

[gingergamer]

Take your month off, not only to go travelling, but to think about your life. And you'll be doing that thinking away from work.

You say you are the de facto office manager; do you have any management qualifications? Because that might be another route forward.

Quite a good idea I suppose, with the weekly work week it can be hard to switch off from it completely to think.

Sadly no qualifications, as pretty much everyone is self-employed here there's not much management of the staff so to speak. Just a little bit for the other two employed administrators and general office duties, as my uncle still runs the business himself when he's around. Thinking about it now, sounds like it’s just been a bit of a weightless term thrown around

Did you ever actually go to university in the end? With no degree your options are perhaps a bit more limited.

You've currently benefited from, quite literally, nepotism. I'd be wary of throwing that away especially if you've not really got a clear direction anyway, why not aim to follow your previous (general) choice albeit on a part time basis - i.e. enrolling in the OU or London International program or Birkbeck (since your location says London) - you could follow an undergrad in computer science or similar via any of those in 4 years if you're prepared to work for it meanwhile you'll have a solid period of work experience on your CV too to make up for the earlier gap/silly years.

Perhaps during that process you might get a better idea of what you actually want to do with your life, you could switch jobs while completing your undergrad or perhaps you might find that an MSc is useful for whatever you become interested in and your undergrad is the key to that... you'll have 4 years to save up the extra cash needed for say a 1 year full time or a further 2 years of part time study.

I didn’t go to university as such, but briefly started a foundation degree when I was 20 which was run at the college I attended. For a couple of different reasons dropped out really early on during the cooling off period to return to full time work. In hindsight of course I should have stuck with it, or at least started a part-time/evening program instead.

And yes totally, it’s the way he’s structured his whole business. Almost everyone here he has known prior to them starting either as family friends or work friends at previous, larger financial firms. Some of them starting as junior admins and going through the same steps I have done.
He’s always been supportive, even when I explored moving to a faster paced role in an estate agents and spoke to him about it, he was helping and advising me right up until the interview stages. I didn’t get the job and remained here.

Having a quick look at starter roles in something to do with computers seems to show a degree will be preferred from their candidates. And even without one I’d assume my glass ceiling would end up being substantially lower?

I am based outside NW London, just inside the M25. A very convenient London train link means that part time undergrad very well could be an option.
Looks like I’m going to have to have a serious look at the options and think it through.
However like you say, I can always remain where I am for now and even whilst studying.

Thank you for the advice

 

[gingergamer]

Your uncle sounds like a decent person, you should talk to him about how you feel.

He really is, he does and has done a lot for the staff here since setting up some 15 years ago

I might have to, it isn't the first time I've had plans about going on elsewhere and he's always been accommodating.
Just hate to take the p*** being a mis-guided youth with ideas and then coming back if I change my mind or things don't work out.
Feel like he's owed more than that.

 

[Quartz]

Sadly no qualifications, as pretty much everyone is self-employed here there's not much management of the staff so to speak.

Don't fool yourself. They're all earning money for your uncle. And your uncle is developing their skills and careers - and your's, don't forget. Both are management functions. Learning how he does that could prove interesting and profitable and highly transferable.

IT is a mug's game right now. Technology is still changing at a rapid pace and you will have to reinvent yourself every few years. Computers are a tool to be used for some end.

 

[dowie]

Having a quick look at starter roles in something to do with computers seems to show a degree will be preferred from their candidates. And even without one I’d assume my glass ceiling would end up being substantially lower?

Depends what you're looking to do tbh... in theory you can even work at google without a degree, in reality it would be much harder to land the initial interview let along get though it all. You'd have to have acquired the same sort of knowledge required of their other candidates regardless so why not get a degree.

Main point though is that a degree, certainly a part time one over say the next 4 years, while you figure out what you might want to do, probably isn't going to do you any harm. You'll have more options with it including studying an MSc course, in some cases you can find that various companies target particular specialist MSc courses too.

You could look at more applied degree courses too perhaps - look up degree apprenticeships, you can get paid to work in an IT related role alongside studying for a degree. (I think some of the more academic MSc courses or indeed PhDs could be out of reach if you were considering those in future but if that isn't a consideration then perhaps the degree apprenticeship is a good move, they'd seem to open up most general IT related careers to you)

Here is an example, I think Exeter is probably the best brand name in terms of universities offering this, some others might have lower requirements, but you don't need to pay tuition fees and you get to earn a salary + have a guaranteed job at the end of it:

http://www.exeter.ac.uk/undergraduate/degrees/computerscience/digital-technology-apprenticeship/

 

[Weazle]

This goes against the norm of the general consensus of going back to eduction but ..... save some money and start your own business.

You don't have to wait, you can start small. Find something you like eg. crafting, financial services, selling computer gear ... whatever. Once you done some research on that, setup something small like a online shopfront or consulting service to take business part time. Just small steps intially to get the ball rolling.

One of my friends worked in a family business doing some consulting .... used his savings to start a business selling mountain biking & snowboarding gear.

 

[Jonnybmac]

It's never too late to change careers. 24 is still pretty young. You could look at distance learning courses. I'd sit and consider what you actually wantvto do. What does or would dtive you through life. What are your interests?

 

[mmcg1]

You should try learning to code. Teach yourself in the evenings from the multitude of free resources or if you have the money then go to a bootcamp.

 

[fastwunz]

Have you thought about getting into surveying/mortgage valuation/homebuyers?

 

[BUDFORCE]

I am 34 and have worked as a mortgage underwriter with various lenders for about 10 years, and a few other finance/accounting roles in between.

I gotta say, I am borred ********, I have learned how corrupt it all is. I don't go home with any kind of job satisfaction, I go home thinking that I've probably screwed some people over on a mortgage they cant afford, in turn helping to wreck the ecomony of the country (again), and made some capitalist pig even richer.

But what can I do? I ned a job, and I need an income, be very hard to go anywhere else now so I just suck it up, and keep doing it.

Sometimes I think I want to sack it all in and become a truck driver or something. My real problem is that I have no idea what I want to do career wise, and I dont particularly like going to work full stop.

Sorry, I have somewhat stolen your thunder here on your thread, but if it helps, I think I share some of what you are going through.

 

[MrRockliffe]

But that’s the thing, I have no idea what I really want to do right now, yet everyone around me seems to be perfectly happy with the direction they’re heading in?

I don't think everyone is perfectly happy with their job, they just balance it with a good life outside of it.

Get stuck into hobbies, play some sport and start enjoying life. The job will follow

 

[Hades]

My opinion is to knuckle down for a few years and get the experience behind you. It will open up other opportunities that you can't even see yet. It doesn't have to be forever. Put a date in your diary 3 to 5 years away and work towards getting as much experience and savings behind you as possible.

Savings and experience give you options for the future. But plan to change career in those few years.

 

[mr tommo]

I changed careers at 27. Best thing I ever did and although I didnt think it at the time, 4 years on it was the perfect time as I'm actually respected for what I achieved in my previous job.

I don't have degree but took an IT graduate role at a software company implementing Microsoft Dynamics, being successful in your current role can count for a lot more than a degree.

My advice would be suck it up, make yourself a complete success over the next 2 years and then use that success and experience to throw yourself into something new. In your spare time sit some exams, learn to build power apps, have a play with creating some Power BI dashboards for your current job etc etc

All of that stuff will put you ahead of graduates when you decide what you want to do.

 

[malachi]

I changed careers at 27. Best thing I ever did and although I didnt think it at the time, 4 years on it was the perfect time as I'm actually respected for what I achieved in my previous job.

I don't have degree but took an IT graduate role at a software company implementing Microsoft Dynamics, being successful in your current role can count for a lot more than a degree.

My advice would be suck it up, make yourself a complete success over the next 2 years and then use that success and experience to throw yourself into something new. In your spare time sit some exams, learn to build power apps, have a play with creating some Power BI dashboards for your current job etc etc

All of that stuff will put you ahead of graduates when you decide what you want to do.

This!

Exactly the same I have been doing for the past 2.5 years. While I have finished studying for my exams, I am still learning.