Space from your partner

[Syngress]

The grass is rarely greener.

Quoted for the truth, it sounds like you have got into a rut, try and organise a few days/nights out with the better half, spend a bit of quality time doing something that you normally wouldn't do, if you dont feel any better after that, then maybe a couple of days apart.

 

[Adeline]

I care about her but that special feeling has vanished.

Too me it seems that if that feeling has gone from the relationship there is not a point in staying together just for the hell of it.
If that "spark" feels like it has gone, I can not see what is keeping you together.
caring for someone is one thing but wanting to spend the rest of your life with that person is another. I would talk to each other about the things you both want out of life and see where that gets you.
I dont believe 2 weeks appart will help at all.

 

[dobbsy]

It doesn't always have to end if you feel in a rut mate, just add a bit of variety to your relationship, possibly by adding in a few nights away from her. It's the spontaneousnous that keeps relationships fresh and keeps that spark there fella. Don't go and end it without trying, otherwise it may come back to haunt you.

 

[crystaline]

sometimes the spark feels like it has disappeared because you are so used to each other. If you spend some time apart then often it's a case of 'don't know what you've got til it's gone' and the spark comes back again

 

[Phaser]

I was in the exact same position a couple of weeks back mate.

Both agreed that we loved each other but it was the same old same old.

Had a couple of days apart just having time to ourselves, then when we got back together we went out for days, just doing things that was different to everyday life.

Seemed to do the trick, the whole "special" feeling came back.

 

[lokkers]

I have a hard and fast rule with my fiance. I spend 2 nights and Sunday doing my own thing (normally gaming/fiddling with PC/programming) and the rest of the time I'm hers. I also always make the effort to go out with my Dad every time we go back to our old home (Kent - about once every 6 weeks).

We've been together over 7 years and I can honestly say I still love spending time together.

remember too its quality not quantity. make sure you do thinks together to avoid the rut. we both love going out for dinner (and then to the pub) so we try and do that at least once a month.

 

[Blackstar]

I can spend up to a month and a half away from my other half, not by choice but because of the distance and work. Spending the time away from him makes me realise how much i care about him. By him not being there all the time, i never take him for granted.
Maybe try seeing her every second or third day. A week or two may be a little too long. Just get out of the rut you've found yourself in, take her out somewhere do something special.

 

[krooton]

I was in the exact same position a couple of weeks back mate.

Both agreed that we loved each other but it was the same old same old.

Had a couple of days apart just having time to ourselves, then when we got back together we went out for days, just doing things that was different to everyday life.

Seemed to do the trick, the whole "special" feeling came back.

I feel I need this, but I know she will get very upset.

On average I get 3-4 evenings to myself a week, but because we don't live together, I'm generally spending my time grocery shopping and cleaning in one of them.

I have a large group of friends and am extroverted and find it easy to talk to new people, but she isn't and often over analyses things and worries that people don't like her. I try to explain to her that you don't 'click' with everyone you meet, but those you do you hang around with.

I feel really guilty if I go round my mate's place for some beers whilst she sits at her place alone.

I'm trying to ensure we have seperate lives as I made the mistake of moving way too fast in my last relationship and lost sight of my individuality and became half of an us/we creature

I love her dearly, but how do I convince her that spending time apart is a good thing?

 

[Cybermyk]

It sounds like you're too different. If you feel you need space to make it work, it's already over tbh.

 

[Efour]

Living in each others pockets is always bad news if its the same old routine like you have.

What to do... Firstly do something different other than watch TV blah blah like you said. THat would be boring anyway regardless. I appreciate its hard to fit around work.

You say she has no mates at all ? IS that 100% true, dosnt she hae any work mates atall that she can go out with on the razz once or twice a week??

If you are missing out on banging random women, playing PS2 and smoking dope with your mates and you consider that to be more important that the lady you have loved for 2+ years then good for you. I dunno how old you are but if you are early 20s chances are you aint going to spend the rest of your life with her are you. You probably know the answer to your questions already. You do what you are going to do i think the 2 week trial appart is harsh for her. You are going to live it up or try to your best ability and go out of your way to have fun no matter what

I think the minute you thought about it all you doomed the whole relationship

 

[Shikkaka]

Living in each others pockets is always bad news if its the same old routine like you have.

What to do... Firstly do something different other than watch TV blah blah like you said. THat would be boring anyway regardless. I appreciate its hard to fit around work.

You say she has no mates at all ? IS that 100% true, dosnt she hae any work mates atall that she can go out with on the razz once or twice a week??

If you are missing out on banging random women, playing PS2 and smoking dope with your mates and you consider that to be more important that the lady you have loved for 2+ years then good for you. I dunno how old you are but if you are early 20s chances are you aint going to spend the rest of your life with her are you. You probably know the answer to your questions already. You do what you are going to do i think the 2 week trial appart is harsh for her. You are going to live it up or try to your best ability and go out of your way to have fun no matter what

I think the minute you thought about it all you doomed the whole relationship

lol don't get angry!

I'm 22 and she is 18. She really has no mates, and doesn't go out at all. She has never been interested in going out. This is another issue. I do ask her to come out for a drink occasionally but she kicks up a fuss.

We had another chat last night and I'm next seeing her on Friday (gone off the two weeks idea). I'm off out tonight with a mate for a few drinks then again on Thursday to get lathered.

Will see how things go whilst i'm spending this time on my own.

 

[Biohazard]

pah I never get two minutes to myself anymore, she even seems to wonder through and speak to me when I'm doing something on the toilet these days

erm..... I'm busy!

 

[Shikkaka]

It doesn't always have to end if you feel in a rut mate, just add a bit of variety to your relationship, possibly by adding in a few nights away from her. It's the spontaneousnous that keeps relationships fresh and keeps that spark there fella. Don't go and end it without trying, otherwise it may come back to haunt you.

Been there and done that before. Not gonna rush into ending anything. Really wanna take this time to see if I do miss her.

The problem i'm thinking is. I pretty much live round her parents house. I stay a lot of the time and it's really cushy there.

Am I gonna miss the cushyness of being at her house or actually miss her.

 

[The_TailGunner]

she may not like it, but i reckon you guys should go out and do something different.

if she prefers watching endless, mindless drivel on tv to doing things with you, then i'd say the relationship is never going to go anywhere.

 

[weeble]

pah I never get two minutes to myself anymore, she even seems to wonder through and speak to me when I'm doing something on the toilet these days

erm..... I'm busy!

Lol - happens to me daily! If it ain't her it's my little lad!


Sounds like the OP has more spare time than I could ever get!.

 

[Hlebio]

I think me and my girlfriend arranged to do something like this once, spend a week away from eachother.

I think by the 3rd night we ended up texting eachother, meeting up and having hot roar sex.

So, go for it.

 

[-Laser-]

Hi all,

I can't quite believe I'm posting this crap on an internet forum but hey ho.

What's your opinions on having say a week or two away from your partner. A little time to yourselfs to reflect on the relationship.

Me and my misses havn't been as close as we previously used to be yet we spend all our time together. It's kind of a routine. Go to work, come home to her house, have some food, watch crap on tv and go to bed, and it's all getting a tad boring for me. Now I went out with my mates last Friday and again this Saturday and it opened my eyes that i might just be missing out on a few bits and bobs in life.

We have spoken tonight and I have told her I don't get the chance to miss her anymore as we spend too much time together, and have advised we need a week or two away from each other. She cannot understand the need for this.

Now I know full well she is gonna be worried sick throughout the next two weeks and it's hard for me to leave her in that state. But I just feel I need to do this for myself and the relationship.

ARGH! Confused!

i felt like this at one point, my GF didn't seem to feel the same. when something came up that prevented us from seeing each other i tried to convince her that it might be a good thing (is it something like "absence makes the heart.... something or other?"). she didn't see it that way but afterwards she agreed that it was a good thing, and it was nice to miss me (god knows why she would though lol)