Stupid people

Soldato
Joined
9 Oct 2006
Posts
3,761
Location
here
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC 2)
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?


UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers'
and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who
will be very upset with you.


BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University
is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.


BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A
Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the
part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're..?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first
name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide
hit with the song
What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?


LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In
which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.


THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey
Archer have all written books about their experiences in
what: prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.


THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC 2)
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads
meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway?


BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
DJ Mark: For 10 Pounds, what is the nationality of the
Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it
Jewish?


GWR FM (Bristol)
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.


MAGIC 52 (NORTHEAST ENGLAND)
Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy
assassinated?
Contestant: Erm . . .
Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see
1964.
Contestant: 1965?


RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND)
Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV
comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The ..?
Caller: Mohicans.


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in
the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?


SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)
Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?
Contestant: Six..
Tufnell: Higher!
Contestant: Five.


FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)
Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form
a word ??? CHED and PIT.
Team: Chedpit.


LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country
in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any
countries in Spain.


RADIO 1 EARLY MORNING SHOW
Presenter: How many toes would three people have in
total?
Contestant: 23.


NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM)
Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest?
Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is
it?


THE MICK GIRDLER SHOW (BBC RADIO SOLENT)
Girdler: I'm looking for an island in the Atlantic whose
name includes the letter 'e'.
Contestant: Ghana.
Girdler: No, listen. It's an island in the Atlantic
Ocean.
Contestant: New Zealand.


NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific


ROCK FM (PRESTON)
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also
the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?


THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to
an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta.


JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called
Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the
Eighth ... er . er ...three?


RICHARD ALLINSON SHOW (RADIO 2)
Allinson: What international brand shares its name with
the Greek goddess of victory?
Contestant (after long deliberation): Erm, Kellogg's?


BLIND DATE (ITV)
Girl: Name a book written by Jane Austen.
Boy: Charlotte Bronte.


CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you
didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er ... Mexico?


PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt
and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.


NATIONAL LOTTERY
Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing
what?
Contestant: Basketball.


NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ
Jeff Owen: Where did the D-Day landings take place?
Contestant (after pause): Pearl Harbor?


DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.


PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er . . .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . .
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I .
. .
Contestant: Walked?


THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition
where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.


BREAKFAST SHOW, RADIO 1
Chris Moyles: Which 'S' is a kind of whale that can grow
up to 80 tonnes?
Contestant: Ummm . . .
Moyles: It begins with 'S' and rhymes with 'perm'.
Contestant: Shark.


STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which
jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did
he play?
Contestant: Jesus
 
These are quite old aren't they? Not this series (of UC) at least.

But very funny =D
 
Last edited:
More from Dumb Britain in Private Eye (may be some duplication):

Sara Cox Show, BBC Radio 1
Sara Cox: 'Beauty is in the eye of the...'
Contestant: Tiger.

Fifteen-to-One, C4
William G. Stewart: Above the entrance to which place do the words “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” appear?
Contestant: A church?
Stewart: Er, sorry, no, hell.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: The Grapple in the Apple, recently held in New York, was a debate between the journalist Christopher Hitchens and the politician George who?
Contestant: George Washington.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: In which film did Harry Lime say 'In Switzerland they had brotherly love and they had 500 years of democracy and peace. And what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!'?
Contestant: One Flew Over the Cuckoo Clock.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: In Italian history, in 1919 which former journalist set up the Fascist Party?
Contestant: Silvio Berlusconi.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: Name the man who was President of Italy until May 2006.
Contestant: Don Corleone.

Beg, Borrow or Steal BBC 2
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: A selection of small, highly coloured sweets is known as Dolly...
Contestant: Parton.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: In politics, what is the current occupation of David Blunkett?
Contestant: Blind.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: The adjective Rubenesque, meaning a plump, voluptuous woman, is derived from the work of which 17th century Flemish artist?
Contestant: Aretha Franklin.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: He was known as the King of the Cowboys. He was Roy who?
Contestant: Keane.

Sara Cox Show, BBC Radio 1
Sara Cox What was Bram Stoker's most famous creation?
Contestant Branston Pickle.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: In the 1940s which politician was responsible for the welfare state; William...?
Contestant: The Conqueror.

The Vault, ITV
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgic

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: What force of nature is responsible for keeping the Earth, planets and asteroids in orbit around the Sun?
Contestant: Delta Force.

The Vault, ITV
Melanie Sykes: In which European city was the first opera house opened in 1637?
Contestant: Sydney.

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
Leno: Who was the first man on the moon?
Contestant: Louis Armstrong.

National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1
Anne Robinson: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
Contestant: Jelly.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: Which m describes exhibiting clothes or making air fix aircraft?
Contestant: Hangar.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: What 4 letter word beginning with d has shelves and is used for writing on
Contestant: Table.

Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: No what please we’re British?
Contestant: Thankyou.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: Which hot drink is eat an anagram of
Contestant: Hot chocolate.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: A wild guess is a shot in the...
Contestant: Arm.

Family Fortunes with Les Dennis
Dennis: Name something people believe in but cannot see.
Contestant: Hitler.

The James O'Brien Show with James O'Brien
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well I know there was a Henry the eighth ... Er ... er... three?

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: Which part of the human body is closest to the floor when we are walking?
Contestant: The head.

The Big Ask, LBC
Gary King: What is the largest carnivore that lives on the land?
Contestant: A Whale.

Steve Wright in the Afternoon, Radio Two
Steve Wright: On this day in 1963, how did Valentina Tereshkova become famous?
Contestant: Was she the first woman to grow a potato?

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: A pain in the muscles or bones of the lower legs, often suffered by sportsmen is known as Shin...?
Contestant: ...dlers List.

Studio 7, The WB Network
Presenter: Which former British colony was handed back to the Chinese in 1997?
Contestant: London.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: Which actress was married to Humphrey Bogart, and is the also the cousin of former Israeli prime minister Shimon Peres?
Contestant: Gene Kelly.

24 Hour Challenge, BBC Radio York
Jonathon Cowap: If someone is described as hirsute, what are they?
Contestant: Erm.
Cowap: Here's a clue. Most men are, and most women would like us to think they are not.
Contestant: Is it gay, Jonathon?

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: In the Lord's Prayer, what word beginning with 'H' meaning 'blessed' comes before 'be thy name'?
Contestant: (quietly) Howard.
Anne Robinson: (incredulously) Pardon?
Contestant: (louder) Howard.

The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: What word for an ancient Roman marketplace is also a site on the internet for open discussion?
Contestant: Chatroom.
 
Last edited:
[QUOTE='[DOD]The Weakest Link, BBC2
Anne Robinson: What force of nature is responsible for keeping the Earth, planets and asteroids in orbit around the Sun?
Contestant: Delta Force. [/QUOTE]
:D
 
"National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1
Anne Robinson: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and what?
Contestant: Jelly. "

I think he meant plasma and bose-einstein condensate...
 
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.

LOL!
 
Back
Top Bottom