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The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by mattyprice4004, 23 Apr 2012.

  1. zootfloot

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 24 Nov 2005

    Posts: 2,240

    Location: Skelton in Cleveland

    That's EXACTLY what I was thinking, even more so after reading that OP had sat down with her and pretty much apologised for doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong.

    There's something very amiss here, her actions are not those of a guilt free or loved up woman in a happy relationship.

    Man that sounds harsh, but that's how it reads to me.
     
  2. Witor

    Mobster

    Joined: 9 Jan 2007

    Posts: 2,759

    Location: Gibraltar

    Nah completely wrong mate, but don't mind you asking that at all.

    She is intensely loyal and wouldnt do that. Were abhorrent about people who cheat and then break up after. Surely if youre that far down the path, end it before anything happens. We live in Gibraltar, shes originally from Manchester (moved 16 years go), so some of our friends here had a hen do up in Manchester, she also took the opportunity to see some friends over there too over the course of the weekend. Ironically i'd just been there a week earlier for the Manchester Derby.

    Suspect it either got lost during the course of the night (happens), or pinched at the hotel room (we both have a sneaky suspicion this happened after putting the events of the night together).

    It happens, quickly decided to find the same watch, succeeded and was appreciated hugely when I gave it to her on the night before we went out on her birthday bash. Quickly turned into being a "predictable" present after the big argument 2 days ago.

    Edit - Wont post the email I sent her a few minutes ago for obvious reasons, but im attempting to get to the bottom of it via any means, whilst putting forward my opinion on what I think is happening, in a the most neutral, level headed way I can muster whilst making sure she knows I love her.
     
    Last edited: 18 Jun 2015
  3. cyber69

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 16 Sep 2009

    Posts: 2,008

    Location: Loogabarooga

    She lost her watch on a hen night so probably had some drinks and must of took her watch off at some point as a £500 watch should have a good strap.
    Doesn't mean she left it at some blokes house though. The OP does not mention if she stayed out all night or was dropped off back home?
     
  4. [FnG]magnolia

    Pancake

    Joined: 29 Aug 2007

    Posts: 27,407

    Location: Auckland

    Just read some of your posts on this page so sorry if I've missed this but have you tried Counselling? It sounds to me like you're getting pretty close to a situation that might be difficult to recover from, or you or her even want to recover from.
     
  5. Black Dynamite

    Gangster

    Joined: 18 Jul 2012

    Posts: 458

    I was tempted not to post but I hate seeing this kind of thing. Probably completely wrong, but something doesn't quite sit right.

    If it was ear rings / a ring or maybe even a necklace, fair enough. I wouldn't bat an eye lid but a watch only comes off if you take it off. A watch isn't taken off until you get home, they don't just fall off do they!

    Hope for your sake that i'm wrong mate but just keep an eye on her, hope things get better!
     
  6. cyber69

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 16 Sep 2009

    Posts: 2,008

    Location: Loogabarooga

    Was it one of those thieving little monkey's that live there?
     
  7. Black Dynamite

    Gangster

    Joined: 18 Jul 2012

    Posts: 458

    That's good news then mate, sorry for jumping the gun! I'm overly suspiscious :)

    You just need to keep trying to communicate, give her some space if she is blocking you out but don't apologies for doing nothing wrong!
     
  8. Witor

    Mobster

    Joined: 9 Jan 2007

    Posts: 2,759

    Location: Gibraltar

    Mags, this has crossed my mind more than a couple of times.. I'm at that stage where I'm embarrassed thinking about the notion of counselling, like I should be able to resolve this together. Much more of this and I may think of that option deeper, primarily for both of us, but if necessary for myself.

    Nah. Last time they jumped into my apartment, they took a 6-pack of breadrolls and ignored the bunch of bananas beside it :)
     
  9. [FnG]magnolia

    Pancake

    Joined: 29 Aug 2007

    Posts: 27,407

    Location: Auckland

    For clarity, I meant have you (=you both) considered counselling together and I'd disagree that considering ways of dealing and hopefully fixing a problem you both share should be embarrassing although I get what you mean.
     
  10. Witor

    Mobster

    Joined: 9 Jan 2007

    Posts: 2,759

    Location: Gibraltar

    Nope, we've not talked about it. Ive simply thought about it as an option. Depending on how things go, I will bring it up as something we need to consider for our long-term future.
     
  11. 413x

    Capodecina

    Joined: 13 Jan 2010

    Posts: 23,480

    Location: Llaneirwg

    I really don't think I will. It been a month, I'm on holiday and I'm as bad as I was before. If not worse.
    I'm worried pills won't fix it as is very much regret /loss and specific trigger that's brought on the depression that I'd managed to control
     
  12. MoDe

    Hitman

    Joined: 2 Feb 2012

    Posts: 818

    Location: Newcastle UK

    https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app
     
  13. sb89

    Gangster

    Joined: 24 May 2011

    Posts: 252

    If you keep telling yourself that what you're feeling is not going to go away, then it's probably not.

    I know it sucks, I've been there before too. It might sound weird but I'm glad it happened to me. It's a valuable learning experience. It taught me that life's too short to mess about with people who don't feel the same way as you do.

    I don't mean to sound harsh, but it's probably going to come out that way. You need to stay away from this thread. It probably helped to vent initially but it seems like this has become your go to place where you can indulge in self pity. And you're never going to feel better if you keep going back here and thinking about it all over again.

    Keep yourself busy, force yourself if you have to. It eventually goes away, I think the majority of us here can testify to that.
     
    Last edited: 18 Jun 2015
  14. Terrier_Jimlad

    Mobster

    Joined: 4 Nov 2006

    Posts: 2,735

    Location: Yorkshire

    I said the exact same thing and shortly after our break up, I defended her to the back teeth and had a go at anyone who suggested she was seeing someone else and that was the reason.

    How wrong was I? I ended up having to apologise to people I had a go at for it. She was the last person on earth I thought would do the dirty too :(
     
  15. 413x

    Capodecina

    Joined: 13 Jan 2010

    Posts: 23,480

    Location: Llaneirwg

    I'll try and keep it of it. Be as harsh as you want.
    I keep trying to break the cycle but I can't.
    And like you said I keep thinking about it and can't stop.
    She told me today she couldn't get over a problem we had right at the start of the relationship I thought was well in the past, so now I blame myself too. (texting someone else, wasn't happy at that point ) at one point I almost broke it off with her but stayed from a guilt trip of her killing herself
    I dunno why she carried on and agreed to Marry me so long after this.
     
    Last edited: 18 Jun 2015
  16. sb89

    Gangster

    Joined: 24 May 2011

    Posts: 252

    You need to stop contacting her.
     
  17. Roar87

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 10 May 2012

    Posts: 7,561

    Location: Leeds

    Witor you don't need councilling you just need to grow a pair, you can't be seen as weak by a female partner, they will not respect you and will eventually leave and/or cheat. If I gave my girlfriend a £500 watch and she called me predictable I'd tell her what a spoiled cow she was being and suggest she goes back to her mum and dads, but she wouldn't react like that because she knows I wouldn't stand for that type of behaviour, your wife is taking the **** and you're allowing it because you don't stand up for yourself.
     
  18. adam98150

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 2 Jun 2014

    Posts: 1,169

    Leave. Seriously. Nothing good can come from someone like that.
     
  19. arknor

    Caporegime

    Joined: 22 Nov 2005

    Posts: 40,115

    Location: Newcastle/Zurich

    WOW JUST WOW

    At first I thought you were talking about something you do in the bedroom with a woman then I realised and Just WOW wtf is this madness

    You should make a rule where she can only watch TV on a tues/thurs night

    You know how ridiculous that sounds right? Man up and take control of your life you might earn a bit of respect a long the way instead of being treated like turd and taken advantage of.

    The fun is taming the dog, once it's tamed the woman loses interest seems to be happening here
     
  20. RoboCod

    Capodecina

    Joined: 19 Jun 2004

    Posts: 19,087

    Location: On the Amiga500

    It's very true though I think. Got to keep em on their toes :p