Caporegime
She’s playing you like young lads usually play girls about, stop contact and you’ll soon find out if she’s really that bothered.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
She's not interested, time to take your business elsewhere.
This.
Been on both sides of this.
As the person who isn't interested there's nothing worse than hassling texts.
If you feel like you're doing all the work you probably are. Someone isn't suddenly going to change their mind .
All you can do is not reply. Then either
-they will reply because they are interested
-they won't reply because they aren't
Over texting is only ever going to make option a less likely.
Guys do this so mich, I don't get it.
Yeah, stop being so clingy and back away. She's not that interested, and until you stop being so clingy and give her space, she won't know whether she misses your or not. Just assume it's not going anywhere and move on, because as soon as someone comes along that she likes better, she's going to do the same to you.
From what you say I think you've probably talked to her about what you want and where you stand, you've wanted some sort of commitment, but the fact she won't give one of any sort means she's just stringing you along because she likes you, but not enough to make it serious.
As they say, stop texting people first and find out how many dead plants you are watering.
Did she really go out with her family?
Why are you, the man, trying to get a girl to commit to you?
Why are you sending mundane "good morning" text messages?
Why are you ******* bothering with a girl who won't be your girlfriend after several years, do you value yourself that poorly?
Go out, hit the gym, get in good shape, get yourself nice clothes, improve yourself in every possible way and find someone who values you as much as you value them. Just grind every day to be better. Stop chasing some trash girl who doesn't give a **** about you. Honestly I despair.
Yeah..... Can't really argue with that.
Focus on yourself and the females who value you will come. I learnt that lesson years ago.
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Agreed (even that it pains me to say that about something Roar has said...). I'm living proof of that statement being true. Lost a bunch of weight over the past year or so and started to get in shape, take better care of myself and have become a great deal more confident. As a result, a girl I've fancied for years has started to take an interest and we now regularly see each other.
It really is all in how you see yourself. If you don't think things are going well enough, divorce yourself form the situation and BE BETTER.
Caporegime
This thread makes it clear how depressing my life actually is.
Not had any interest from the opposite sex in about 5 years, the only "action" I've seen in those past 5 years is on three occasions where I met up with my ex...
Over that time I've developed an interest in probably 4 or 5 people, two of them became a serious interest, and on both occasions I asked them out, and both of them said yes, but then nothing happened, one of them is now in a relationship, and the other barely talks to me whereas we used to be very close friends.
I'm not exactly the best catch in the world, but I wouldn't say either of the two I asked out were out of my "league" so to speak.
Bah. I'm only 23 so its not the end of the world, plenty of time! But I am moving out soon and I struggle with living on my own, I like having company, and its depressing seeing so many friends the same age as me in committed relationships, buying houses with their partners etc.
Anyone want a hug?
Not had any interest from the opposite sex in about 5 years, the only "action" I've seen in those past 5 years is on three occasions where I met up with my ex...
Over that time I've developed an interest in probably 4 or 5 people, two of them became a serious interest, and on both occasions I asked them out, and both of them said yes, but then nothing happened, one of them is now in a relationship, and the other barely talks to me whereas we used to be very close friends.
I'm not exactly the best catch in the world, but I wouldn't say either of the two I asked out were out of my "league" so to speak.
Bah. I'm only 23 so its not the end of the world, plenty of time! But I am moving out soon and I struggle with living on my own, I like having company, and its depressing seeing so many friends the same age as me in committed relationships, buying houses with their partners etc.
Anyone want a hug?
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Bah. I'm only 23 so its not the end of the world, plenty of time! But I am moving out soon and I struggle with living on my own, I like having company, and its depressing seeing so many friends the same age as me in committed relationships, buying houses with their partners etc.
Anyone way a hug?
23 years old and your friends are all settled down and buying houses? Are you Amish?
Caporegime
Hahaha, not all of them, but loads of them! Several of my good friends are married and paying mortgages or married and renting with their girlfriend/boyfriend/partner. I'm not saying thats what I want! It just exacerbates how I feel lol.
I'll have my own place and a mortgage in a few months, but I hate living on my own. I get bored/lonely/depressed, and generally go a bit stir crazy.
Simply put you've just got to put the effort in. You can try the old fashioned way of asking your friends if they've got friends who they think you'd suit. Or just go on dating websites.
It's a bit of a rule of thumb and not strictly true but, free dating websites are full of people wanting 'fun'. And paid websites usually have people looking for something serious. My advice would be to try the free ones for a while and then maybe try the paid ones if you want.
I met my gf of 9 months now on eHarmony and we're very happy, and both agreed that there were loads of time wasters on pof/match etc.
Also as for you saying 'how depressed your life is'. I was single for a long time, and you get used to it. I don't regret being single for that long because it's astonishing how much time women take up. I'm sure you know this if you had a previous relationship. Sometimes I yearn for that freedom but then I weigh up the pros and cons of both and remember it's better this way.
Good luck.
Caporegime
Cheers. The way I feel when on my own isn't just because of my relationship status, depression and its related feelings are things I struggle with day to day anyway and have done for as long as I can remember.
I suppose I could try dating sites and so on, but I don't really agree with them and I have always said I will never use them.
To be honest the people I hang around with and friends of friends aren't really my "type" anyway, which is probably part of the issue!
Anyone I have "met" and become friendly with and/or become interested in are people I have met via a mutual interest in cars and so on. Girl #1 I mentioned has an old BMW like mine and we used to help each other fix various issues with them, girl #2 is the step-daughter of the guy who founded the car club.
Cheers. The way I feel when on my own isn't just because of my relationship status, depression and its related feelings are things I struggle with day to day anyway and have done for as long as I can remember.
I suppose I could try dating sites and so on, but I don't really agree with them and I have always said I will never use them.
To be honest the people I hang around with and friends of friends aren't really my "type" anyway, which is probably part of the issue!
Anyone I have "met" and become friendly with and/or become interested in are people I have met via a mutual interest in cars and so on. Girl #1 I mentioned has an old BMW like mine and we used to help each other fix various issues with them, girl #2 is the step-daughter of the guy who founded the car club.
Yeah I know the feeling about friends of friends not being my type and also the apprehension with dating websites. I think we all like the idea of meeting someone like in a movie or show but it rarely happens. I just thought why not give it a go, and it took a while but the reward has been fantastic.
I suppose you could keep trying to find someone through cars, but as I'm sure you know it's a bit of a male dominated field.
Caporegime
Bah. I'm only 23 so its not the end of the world, plenty of time! But I am moving out soon and I struggle with living on my own, I like having company, and its depressing seeing so many friends the same age as me in committed relationships, buying houses with their partners etc.
Anyone want a hug?
23... You still haven't hit your prime!! As long as you look after yourself now, physically and mentally while you are young then I wouldn't worry about it. It will change for the better when you get older.
As for your friends settling down, im 35, my friends who had kids, mortgages, etc when we were 23. Apart from two of them, none are still together. Many didn't make to 30 before their relationship broke down. Back living with their parents because they don't know how to live on their own, only with parents or partners.
You are moving out on your own at 23, you already have the upper hand.
Caporegime
Yeah I should work on the looking after myself thing. I don't exercise, I don't eat well, I drink, I smoke, I suffer from mental health issues, and I am overweight.
Yeah I should work on the looking after myself thing. I don't exercise, I don't eat well, I drink, I smoke, I suffer from mental health issues, and I am overweight.
Well you have time to fix those bad habits.
Everyone wants a decent quality partner but you won’t attract them with poor lifestyle choices.
I love females who are slim, nice size 8 to 10, that’s one reason why I go to the gym everyday to attract them whenever I’m out and about......it works!
Caporegime
Well you have time to fix those bad habits.
Everyone wants a decent quality partner but you won’t attract them with poor lifestyle choices.
I love females who are slim, nice size 8 to 10, that’s one reason why I go to the gym everyday to attract them whenever I’m out and about......it works!
Yes I know
I'll work on it TBH I'm not fussed if they are slim, looks do play a part no matter how much you try and deny it, but they should always come second. At a guess the two girls I asked out were a 12 and a 14, and my ex was probably a 14 as well when I was dating her. There is another girl I'm chatting to at the moment who I would like to take out sometime, she is slim though. Doubt she would be interested in me in that way.
Weight does not equal level of attractiveness though remember.
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Caporegime
I'm sure it would make me feel better about myself, its just finding the motivation to change my lifestyle I guess. I stopped drinking and smoking quite successfully in the past, I should probably do that again. Dieting I find somewhat more difficult because I comfort eat, and I enjoy food.