I kind of agree that there aren't many options if you want a relationship but no kids. That's for sure.
Not so sure about having kids means you'll get laid more. Probably less!
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
I kind of agree that there aren't many options if you want a relationship but no kids. That's for sure.
Not so sure about having kids means you'll get laid more. Probably less!
Unfortunately your Wright there you just never know and people turn nasty and selfish and it becomes one big game of who gets the better of the other and kids get completely stuck in the middle
The ex in my situation steadily revealed what a nasty piece of work she truly was once our son came along. By the time I left 6 or 7 years ago I thought she couldn't stoop any lower. I was wrong.
Now after years of family court, court orders that are routinely breached, social services involvement and false accusations that like others have almost led to me being arrested twice and being prevented from seeing my kids for up to a year at a time.
And I'm still going through it... I'm at a point where the next time she pulls a stunt I'm not sure I can keep trying to maintain access to them as its putting incredible strain on my relationship and health.
So the end of last week I had no plans for the weekend. I didn't want to do what I did last weekend and sit in stewing and doing my head in and driving my mind crazy. Thursday I looked at the weather over the lakes and planned on spending the Saturday travelling and hiking a mountain then driving home again.
The weather looked amazing on weather forecasts so on Friday I decided to look further afield to Scotland. I had glencoe in mind or more specifically the Aonach Eagach ridge. Clear skys and 24 degrees...
On the morning at work I kept looking at videos of the ridge that made me more and more tempted:
It was a 5.5 hour drive to Scotland, on my own, could I be bothered? Did I want to do this? I managed to finish all my important things off at work and took a **** it moment and put in a last minute half day, rushed home to pack a bag and set off to Scotland with no plan other than sleep in my car as close to the mountain as possible to set off early in the morning.
I arrived at 9pm to pitch black, and decided to google a local bar I could speak to a few locals. Between a few shandys I ended up sharing stories with a few strangers, and had a scotch whisky masterclass on aromas from 10 year smoked to 30 year glennfiddich and everything between when I questioned about a few whiskys to the bar man who with my inexperience would consider a conneseur. I stayed there till 11:30 and was invited back for the following night when the bar staff were off duty to sample some whisky as I didn't want to drink when I had a big hike to complete.
I drove to the base of the mountain and watched the stars before falling asleep with shadowy backdrops surrounding me.
I set my alarm for 6:30 and woke up to the sunrise and the mountains around me revealed. I fell back asleep again and woke up to set off about 8am.
It was initially going to be 4 munros but talking to a Scottish local he said a 5th had cracking views not to be missed so I ended up completing 5.
The shock on the 5th munro when you talk to others about how you've completed the ridge and they look at you like you're mad when you tell them where your car is. I was only at the half way point and had to walk back! I managed to complete the full loop from 8am - 5pm which gave me time to get back into glencoe and have fish and chips watching the sun go down.
The feeling of pushing my limit with nobody but myself to prove something to, hands and feet climbing up the side of mountains to reveal amazing views of more huge mountains all around was something only I could give myself, and what felt quite liberating. I had waited so long to find somebody else to do this with but in the end I enjoyed it so much on my own. My knees were seizing on the last mile to the car so I was definitely on my limits.
Call it cheesy but this came on in the car and I hammered it throughout the weekend because I felt it resembled how I felt a bit.
I did a lot of reflection on this trip that helped me considerably. It hasn't stopped me thinking about my ex but I see it in a different light now.
Why stew over what was or wasn't meant to be? Why settle to thinking I need someone else to be happy in life or do something with? Life is a short story so why not contribute my own way, with anyone in it a page, chapter or to the end but I should be the main author of happiness within. I shouldn't rely solely on happiness from someone else and not have my own piece to contribute or be happy with...
There was more to this adventure but I've rabbled on enough with philosophical drivel. Here's the album if anyone is interested.
https://photos.google.com/share/AF1...?key=V1k5NzFNOXoycEh4dUtQR1J5aHg1NGpuU2NZbGZR
The weather looked amazing on weather forecasts so on Friday I decided to look further afield to Scotland. I had glencoe in mind or more specifically the Aonach Eagach ridge. Clear skys and 24 degrees...
On the morning at work I kept looking at videos of the ridge that made me more and more tempted:
It was a 5.5 hour drive to Scotland, on my own, could I be bothered? Did I want to do this? I managed to finish all my important things off at work and took a **** it moment and put in a last minute half day, rushed home to pack a bag and set off to Scotland with no plan other than sleep in my car as close to the mountain as possible to set off early in the morning.
I arrived at 9pm to pitch black, and decided to google a local bar I could speak to a few locals. Between a few shandys I ended up sharing stories with a few strangers, and had a scotch whisky masterclass on aromas from 10 year smoked to 30 year glennfiddich and everything between when I questioned about a few whiskys to the bar man who with my inexperience would consider a conneseur. I stayed there till 11:30 and was invited back for the following night when the bar staff were off duty to sample some whisky as I didn't want to drink when I had a big hike to complete.
I drove to the base of the mountain and watched the stars before falling asleep with shadowy backdrops surrounding me.
I set my alarm for 6:30 and woke up to the sunrise and the mountains around me revealed. I fell back asleep again and woke up to set off about 8am.
It was initially going to be 4 munros but talking to a Scottish local he said a 5th had cracking views not to be missed so I ended up completing 5.
The shock on the 5th munro when you talk to others about how you've completed the ridge and they look at you like you're mad when you tell them where your car is. I was only at the half way point and had to walk back! I managed to complete the full loop from 8am - 5pm which gave me time to get back into glencoe and have fish and chips watching the sun go down.
The feeling of pushing my limit with nobody but myself to prove something to, hands and feet climbing up the side of mountains to reveal amazing views of more huge mountains all around was something only I could give myself, and what felt quite liberating. I had waited so long to find somebody else to do this with but in the end I enjoyed it so much on my own. My knees were seizing on the last mile to the car so I was definitely on my limits.
Call it cheesy but this came on in the car and I hammered it throughout the weekend because I felt it resembled how I felt a bit.
I did a lot of reflection on this trip that helped me considerably. It hasn't stopped me thinking about my ex but I see it in a different light now.
Why stew over what was or wasn't meant to be? Why settle to thinking I need someone else to be happy in life or do something with? Life is a short story so why not contribute my own way, with anyone in it a page, chapter or to the end but I should be the main author of happiness within. I shouldn't rely solely on happiness from someone else and not have my own piece to contribute or be happy with...
There was more to this adventure but I've rabbled on enough with philosophical drivel. Here's the album if anyone is interested.
https://photos.google.com/share/AF1...?key=V1k5NzFNOXoycEh4dUtQR1J5aHg1NGpuU2NZbGZR
Associate
@Jonnybmac Awesome stuff mate - that’s how you do it ... those photos are stunning! I haven’t done anything on quite that scale, but to me one of the joys of being single is the ability to do stuff on a whim, whether it’s something trivial or more involved.
Soldato
@Jonnybmac it is a great part of the world that, glad you got to enjoy it properly! Here's to the next one eh?
Amazing part of the world. So many people go abroad and this is on your doorstep!
It was perfect weather with not a cloud in the sky; I'll definitely be back next year with some more planning!
Had some real spiritual moments in the mountains
If you look close in the picture below you can see two people on the ridge to get a sense of the size of these munros
It was perfect weather with not a cloud in the sky; I'll definitely be back next year with some more planning!
Had some real spiritual moments in the mountains
If you look close in the picture below you can see two people on the ridge to get a sense of the size of these munros
Associate
@Jonnybmac - well done - excellent pictures as well.
Have done the Aonach Eagach ridge twice including Clachaig gully twice and descended the stone shoot off the ridge which was exciting but a bit dangerous.
Currently in the Lakes - did the Old Man of Coniston - calf's are killing me as I do too much cycling now and my walking muscles are shot.
+ Excellent Song - often listen to Avicii when I'm at the gym - mostly cycling !
Have done the Aonach Eagach ridge twice including Clachaig gully twice and descended the stone shoot off the ridge which was exciting but a bit dangerous.
Currently in the Lakes - did the Old Man of Coniston - calf's are killing me as I do too much cycling now and my walking muscles are shot.
+ Excellent Song - often listen to Avicii when I'm at the gym - mostly cycling !
Last edited:
Associate
- Joined
- 12 Dec 2006
- Posts
- 1,382
@Jonnybmac well done that sounds like an epic weekend adventure. inspirational!
Yeah it was a really good hike. I've not done any big walks for some time so was pretty unfit to tackle this but did it!
I worried a few people by just leaving work to go climb a mountain on my own which I felt a bit guilty for but luckily there was signal at intervals so I could check in. I didn't really know what I was getting myself into to the point I took my climbing shoes with me incase I needed better footwear in places, but it really wasn't as bad as what most scrambling pages make out. The downclimbs and climbing were pretty well protected and there were plenty of holds to use so I didn't feel out of my comfort zone or feel I could potentially fall to my death
It's funny how many people question doing something alone, but when you get to places like this there are many others on their own just enjoying life it feels so insignificant.
It is definitely different to go at it alone - everything is how you want it; you get locked in your own moment and considering I'm not much of a social butterfly I ended up talking to so many different people with different stories and lives.
I've not done old man of conniston but I have climbed on dow crag over the other side of the lake on the top so can appreciate that walk in is brutal!
I was meant to go taste some whisky on the night but ended up feeling too tired I just stayed in my car chilling watching videos. I intended to layer up for the night but fell asleep and woke up freezing. Not a good idea to put the heated seats on for just half an hour to warm up as I didn't want to start my car and wake others around me up.
There was a race on at 7am on the morning so no rooms to rent hence a 2nd night in the car. I woke up at 6.45am to see the race, went to to start my car and no battery!
One failed attempt at bumping off with a from Czech republic offering his services I decided to walk 5 minutes to a garage to see if they had booster packs - they only had mains chargers. I bought jump leads for £14 so at least I had other solutions once I could find someone. I asked a local who offered for me to use her battery on her car to bump mine. I couldn't get a good connection and the leads were getting hot, she needed to go to work so I apologised for the delay and thanked her for her time.
I asked a lad from essex if I could use his car but since it was a hire car he would offer to help bump instead.
2nd go trying about 6 times pushing an SUV I eventually called it and apologised again we were both now dripping wet in sweat!
I asked another couple of locals if I could use their car battery to start my car and they insisted they would help me bump off since there was 2 of them it should work(each time I helped bump then jumped in the car last minute). More failed attempts to bump off and a female local who was dropping someone off came to ask if I wanted to use her car to jump as she had cables at home. We connected batteries using my leads and it began charging as power came on, but one of the men initially bumping off kept playing with the leads so it was difficult to determine if it as or wasn't still charging. 15 minutes waiting it still wouldn't turn over, so the lady offered to get better leads and her alternative bigger car. Once she left another local turned up, seen my bonnet up and offered assistance. He said his friend who was due would have leads in his car; I explained I have some but have had no success so he said he would pull up his car and give it a try.
Within minutes my car turned over, I was elated! Every person who helped I offered money to for their time and none would accept. I waited for the woman who was initially helping to return and threw the £15 I had in my wallet at her for her help since she wouldn't accept it and had gone out of her way to help me.
Took over an hour to get sorted but I took it in my stride. I was near a cafe so I knew I could go and spend £30 worst case on a battery charger at the petrol station but so many people came to my aid and were extremely helpful!
Missed the race which I was a big gutted about but all added to the adventure
There’s a woman I met at a rugby game a few years ago and then again the year after, been chatting a lot recently and video calls etc. Going on an all day ‘meet’ in London next month, quite looking forward to it. Science museum followed by some bars and then a meal out. There hasn’t been a label put on it, so I actually don’t know if it’s an official date or what not, but I’m looking forward to it. I guess it’s a date, I asked her if she fancied meeting on a video chat and she said yes.
Yeah it was a really good hike. I've not done any big walks for some time so was pretty unfit to tackle this but did it!
I worried a few people by just leaving work to go climb a mountain on my own which I felt a bit guilty for but luckily there was signal at intervals so I could check in. I didn't really know what I was getting myself into to the point I took my climbing shoes with me incase I needed better footwear in places, but it really wasn't as bad as what most scrambling pages make out. The downclimbs and climbing were pretty well protected and there were plenty of holds to use so I didn't feel out of my comfort zone or feel I could potentially fall to my death
It's funny how many people question doing something alone, but when you get to places like this there are many others on their own just enjoying life it feels so insignificant.
It is definitely different to go at it alone - everything is how you want it; you get locked in your own moment and considering I'm not much of a social butterfly I ended up talking to so many different people with different stories and lives.
I've not done old man of conniston but I have climbed on dow crag over the other side of the lake on the top so can appreciate that walk in is brutal!
I was meant to go taste some whisky on the night but ended up feeling too tired I just stayed in my car chilling watching videos. I intended to layer up for the night but fell asleep and woke up freezing. Not a good idea to put the heated seats on for just half an hour to warm up as I didn't want to start my car and wake others around me up.
There was a race on at 7am on the morning so no rooms to rent hence a 2nd night in the car. I woke up at 6.45am to see the race, went to to start my car and no battery!
One failed attempt at bumping off with a from Czech republic offering his services I decided to walk 5 minutes to a garage to see if they had booster packs - they only had mains chargers. I bought jump leads for £14 so at least I had other solutions once I could find someone. I asked a local who offered for me to use her battery on her car to bump mine. I couldn't get a good connection and the leads were getting hot, she needed to go to work so I apologised for the delay and thanked her for her time.
I asked a lad from essex if I could use his car but since it was a hire car he would offer to help bump instead.
2nd go trying about 6 times pushing an SUV I eventually called it and apologised again we were both now dripping wet in sweat!
I asked another couple of locals if I could use their car battery to start my car and they insisted they would help me bump off since there was 2 of them it should work(each time I helped bump then jumped in the car last minute). More failed attempts to bump off and a female local who was dropping someone off came to ask if I wanted to use her car to jump as she had cables at home. We connected batteries using my leads and it began charging as power came on, but one of the men initially bumping off kept playing with the leads so it was difficult to determine if it as or wasn't still charging. 15 minutes waiting it still wouldn't turn over, so the lady offered to get better leads and her alternative bigger car. Once she left another local turned up, seen my bonnet up and offered assistance. He said his friend who was due would have leads in his car; I explained I have some but have had no success so he said he would pull up his car and give it a try.
Within minutes my car turned over, I was elated! Every person who helped I offered money to for their time and none would accept. I waited for the woman who was initially helping to return and threw the £15 I had in my wallet at her for her help since she wouldn't accept it and had gone out of her way to help me.
Took over an hour to get sorted but I took it in my stride. I was near a cafe so I knew I could go and spend £30 worst case on a battery charger at the petrol station but so many people came to my aid and were extremely helpful!
Missed the race which I was a big gutted about but all added to the adventure
I do loads by myself if there's no one to come with me, I climbed up Carrock fell alone last week after my friend had to cancel. It was still fun and there's a nice sense of accomplishment when getting to the top
It's funny that those who question doing things alone never seem to anything at all
Soldato
- Joined
- 19 Jan 2006
- Posts
- 4,534
I hope you have a hotel room booked young man.
I don't think that's how you start a car with jump leads. You don't try to charge your battery with the other car. You connect the red/positive lead to the positive terminal on both batteries. Then connect the black/negative lead to the good battery negative terminal and an earthing point on your car. The good car then starts their engine for a minute and brings the revs up quite high to ensure a lot of output from their alternator. Then you start your car.Yeah it was a really good hike. I've not done any big walks for some time so was pretty unfit to tackle this but did it!
I worried a few people by just leaving work to go climb a mountain on my own which I felt a bit guilty for but luckily there was signal at intervals so I could check in. I didn't really know what I was getting myself into to the point I took my climbing shoes with me incase I needed better footwear in places, but it really wasn't as bad as what most scrambling pages make out. The downclimbs and climbing were pretty well protected and there were plenty of holds to use so I didn't feel out of my comfort zone or feel I could potentially fall to my death
It's funny how many people question doing something alone, but when you get to places like this there are many others on their own just enjoying life it feels so insignificant.
It is definitely different to go at it alone - everything is how you want it; you get locked in your own moment and considering I'm not much of a social butterfly I ended up talking to so many different people with different stories and lives.
I've not done old man of conniston but I have climbed on dow crag over the other side of the lake on the top so can appreciate that walk in is brutal!
I was meant to go taste some whisky on the night but ended up feeling too tired I just stayed in my car chilling watching videos. I intended to layer up for the night but fell asleep and woke up freezing. Not a good idea to put the heated seats on for just half an hour to warm up as I didn't want to start my car and wake others around me up.
There was a race on at 7am on the morning so no rooms to rent hence a 2nd night in the car. I woke up at 6.45am to see the race, went to to start my car and no battery!
One failed attempt at bumping off with a from Czech republic offering his services I decided to walk 5 minutes to a garage to see if they had booster packs - they only had mains chargers. I bought jump leads for £14 so at least I had other solutions once I could find someone. I asked a local who offered for me to use her battery on her car to bump mine. I couldn't get a good connection and the leads were getting hot, she needed to go to work so I apologised for the delay and thanked her for her time.
I asked a lad from essex if I could use his car but since it was a hire car he would offer to help bump instead.
2nd go trying about 6 times pushing an SUV I eventually called it and apologised again we were both now dripping wet in sweat!
I asked another couple of locals if I could use their car battery to start my car and they insisted they would help me bump off since there was 2 of them it should work(each time I helped bump then jumped in the car last minute). More failed attempts to bump off and a female local who was dropping someone off came to ask if I wanted to use her car to jump as she had cables at home. We connected batteries using my leads and it began charging as power came on, but one of the men initially bumping off kept playing with the leads so it was difficult to determine if it as or wasn't still charging. 15 minutes waiting it still wouldn't turn over, so the lady offered to get better leads and her alternative bigger car. Once she left another local turned up, seen my bonnet up and offered assistance. He said his friend who was due would have leads in his car; I explained I have some but have had no success so he said he would pull up his car and give it a try.
Within minutes my car turned over, I was elated! Every person who helped I offered money to for their time and none would accept. I waited for the woman who was initially helping to return and threw the £15 I had in my wallet at her for her help since she wouldn't accept it and had gone out of her way to help me.
Took over an hour to get sorted but I took it in my stride. I was near a cafe so I knew I could go and spend £30 worst case on a battery charger at the petrol station but so many people came to my aid and were extremely helpful!
Missed the race which I was a big gutted about but all added to the adventure
You don't need to put a label on it, you just need to make sure she knows you're attracted to her
Never been one for video chats, would freak me out I think talking over video on the phone to someone! Fair play and good luck
That is very true. People get so used to having to do everything with other people they become out of touch with themselves; myself included.
Yeah, that's what I meant. That is pretty much what happened but you need some charge in your battery to turn the car over it cannot be completely flat; hence you use another vehicle with the engine on with revs to transfer power over to my car, leaving it a minute or two to store some energy. I waited 15 minutes on one instance because the leads kept getting moved and wasn't sure if it was charging enough since mine was a big battery and the car was little.
Soldato
Science Museum is an excellent first date/meet, I find it quickly tells you if you'll get along. If someone doesn't find a single thing there to get excited about, they're probably not for me
I'm staying in London that night anyway as I'm at a gig on the Friday.
She's well aware, the first time I met her I tried chatting her up but I was absolutely steaming.
Never been one for video chats, would freak me out I think talking over video on the phone to someone! Fair play and good luck
It's not like I don't know her or it's an online dating thing, although that said we've probably spoken face to face for less than an hour. We've been friends on Facebook for about 18 months or so I think.
Science Museum is an excellent first date/meet, I find it quickly tells you if you'll get along. If someone doesn't find a single thing there to get excited about, they're probably not for me
It's something we're both interested in so it should be good. I'm really looking forward.
3 weeks ago I met this girl internet dating and i'm basically head over heels about her. She just seems to want to have fun and instantly shuts me down if I talk about feelings. So it's kind of like a guys dream, booty call, with no commitment. I have tried talking about it, she said she walk out the door if I bring it up.
My current thinking is there's something about me she's not into long term. Yes, I seem to have turned into a bird with this girl
My current thinking is there's something about me she's not into long term. Yes, I seem to have turned into a bird with this girl