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The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by mattyprice4004, Apr 23, 2012.

  1. LeMson


    Joined: Mar 21, 2012

    Posts: 2,825

  2. SexyGreyFox

    Man of Honour

    Joined: Mar 29, 2003

    Posts: 49,736

    My Mrs said she was from Yorkshire but after last night and many glasses of Prosecco she was talking Russian.
  3. TrannyBill


    Joined: Aug 31, 2017

    Posts: 74

    Just ignore her. Why do you even care about this new guy?
  4. Kelt


    Joined: Nov 14, 2007

    Posts: 10,441

    Location: With the færies

    Get a Gucci belt, adopt boxing stance and poo in her letterbox.
  5. fretted


    Joined: Jan 4, 2010

    Posts: 572

    Can we at least have some pics of said stripper?
  6. b00merang69


    Joined: Sep 27, 2019

    Posts: 2,530

    How about strangle her with the Gucci belt, then donkey punch her and then poo on her!
  7. chaparral


    Joined: Nov 27, 2005

    Posts: 20,228

    Looks like OP wants her back and is very jealous of this new guy

    Or he would just blocked her and moved on with his life
  8. Acrotomophilia


    Joined: Aug 29, 2005

    Posts: 15,266

    I only managed to read the first paragraph and now I feel like your ex girlfriend has affected me.:(

    If you're feeling festive still you could get yourself two M&S Christmas puddings and wear them like boxing gloves, soak them in brandy and arrange to meet her for some OcUK traditional assume the position *Boxing day stance* treatment.

    Make sure to light the puddings first though and have the original Mortal Kombat theme music playing very loudly on your mobile phone in your back pocket!:cool:
  9. Bounce

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Dec 22, 2011

    Posts: 1,334

    Location: Stoke-on-Trent

    First post on a computer forum asking for relationship advice omegalul
  10. BowdonUK


    Joined: Jan 17, 2016

    Posts: 3,416

    A unique woman I used to know said men fight with fists, women fight with emotions.

    As others have said, block her on sight on everything, even if she creates other accounts, keep blocking her.

    Move on.
  11. Alex_6n2


    Joined: Jan 24, 2007

    Posts: 2,699

    Location: Bristol

    You should definitely get back with her.

    1) Promise a large sum of cash
    2) Allow her to move into your house
    3) Have 3 children
    4) Discover she has been cheating on you for 10 years
    5) Develop an addiction to alcohol
    6) Bang a (different) prostitute
    7) Lose everything
    8) Go to step 1
  12. [FnG]magnolia


    Joined: Aug 29, 2007

    Posts: 26,293

    Location: Bees.

    These data gathering bots are getting pretty good, if a bit obvious.
  13. Threepwood


    Joined: Sep 29, 2011

    Posts: 5,204

    Location: Monkey Island

    Often wonder if these kinda threads are done by alts of yours, it seems like you are not far behind in replying to them, hardily any others xD
  14. The_Abyss


    Joined: May 15, 2007

    Posts: 12,270

    Location: Ipswich / Bodham

    Cleanse your soul by posting a picture of her here, asking for it to be Photoshopped.

    Also, Gucci belt.
  15. builder22


    Joined: Dec 14, 2005

    Posts: 2,803

    well, you don't seem like the secretive type :p

    p.s - hope it wasn't a severed hand :o:o
  16. Derek W


    Joined: Oct 1, 2008

    Posts: 11,193

    Location: Glebe Park

    Jackanory time kids :D
  17. hyperseven


    Joined: May 1, 2013

    Posts: 6,674

    Location: M28

    Uness it included the full and I mean FULL Tony Williams experience (with KFC) then I'm out.
  18. b00merang69


    Joined: Sep 27, 2019

    Posts: 2,530

    Ford Tranny Van, mattress in the back, KFC drive Through, finger licking good.:D
  19. Ayahuasca


    Joined: Apr 23, 2014

    Posts: 19,603

    Location: County Durham

    GigaChad has had her on lockdown from before the day you first met.

    Just lol at getting handmogged in a photograph.
  20. Roar87


    Joined: May 10, 2012

    Posts: 5,957

    Location: Leeds

    1. No, using him for free holiday
    2. She likes you
    3. She likes you and enjoys the attention, no deeper meaning
    4. Women like playing games
    5. Almost certainly