The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Associate
Joined
25 Jan 2009
Posts
1,901
Location
UK
It sucks when it happens but I understand why people do it. Especially with things like Tinder where she's probably getting hundreds of responses.

Yeah she was the type to get spammed I could tell. Very materialistic / social media type. Worked in fashion etc. In a way, I was happy to have got as far as matching with her and getting her number. But clearly my "FB presence" didn't meet her vain standards. It would never have worked ultimately. Just would have been nice to get a polite message from her before a blocking.
 
Permabanned
Joined
9 Aug 2008
Posts
35,707
Yeah she was the type to get spammed I could tell. Very materialistic / social media type. Worked in fashion etc. In a way, I was happy to have got as far as matching with her and getting her number. But clearly my "FB presence" didn't meet her vain standards. It would never have worked ultimately. Just would have been nice to get a polite message from her before a blocking.

Online dating sites are horrible places. I haven't been on them for a good 8 years now.
 
Man of Honour
Joined
20 Sep 2006
Posts
33,884
If you can't handle rejection from a woman who sounds like she isn't your type anyway then perhaps Tinder is not your thing? I'm glad I have a new mrs now who I met through real life so I don't have to bother with any online dating at all, they are all as bad as each other.
 
Caporegime
Joined
13 Jan 2010
Posts
32,495
Location
Llaneirwg
If you can't handle rejection from a woman who sounds like she isn't your type anyway then perhaps Tinder is not your thing? I'm glad I have a new mrs now who I met through real life so I don't have to bother with any online dating at all, they are all as bad as each other.

This.
You dodged a bullet there You really don't want someone like that. Especially if you say she was a social media /fashion/materialistic type and you definitely aren't.

Its ok to feel a bit deflated if you are new to Internet dating. The Longer you are on it the more **** like that you will get, it gets much worse believe me. Hopefully it builds your resilience, If it doesn't you shouldn't do it
 
Soldato
Joined
27 Jun 2006
Posts
12,354
Location
Not here
Just before I went on holiday, I had date with a women who has been on dating sites for 14 years! :eek:

But she has had a lot of fun during that time, on and offline. So I could see why.
 
Soldato
Joined
7 Oct 2009
Posts
4,144
Just would have been nice to get a polite message from her before a blocking.

Why does it matter? She owes you nothing tbh. Blocking you is just as explanatory and a lot more effective than telling you she’s not interested.

If things like that affect you at all then you’re gonna struggle.

Shrug and move on.
 
Caporegime
Joined
23 Apr 2014
Posts
29,256
Location
Dominating rooms with symmetry
Great start to 2020 for me. Decided to go back on Tinder after being single for last 6 months or so. Got a girl's number. I was bit worried she seemed a bit towie/vain but went along with it. She asked me for "more pics" to prove I wasn't a catfish. I was quite reluctant as am not a heavy social media user. Anyway, I took a leap of faith and accepted her friends request on FB.

Within 2 mins, I was deleted/blocked on both FB and WhatsApp. Felt so low about it. What a nasty thing to do. My FB is just minimal on activity. Fair few pics though. Nothing much to see! I text her saying that was an extremely shallow thing to have done and blocked her back.

Oh well. Onwards and upwards.

Come on dude, unless you’re a teenager, something like that really shouldn’t bother you that much.
 
Associate
Joined
2 Aug 2009
Posts
1,108
Location
UK
I was in a pretty bad spot (documented in this thread) since last May. Happy to say now I'm better than ever!

I got back into the gym and got back to my old strength pretty quickly, found some new hobbies like pool etc with friends.

Another friend also convinced me to download a dating app at the start on December. To my surprise I immediately started getting likes and messages and have been since. It's been really good for my confidence, dating someone now- not made anything official yet, staying cuatiously optimistic.

I think my ex was bad for my confidence, put me down a lot and I'd forgot my worth... My confidence is great now, hopefully things can only get better :D
 
Associate
Joined
14 Oct 2012
Posts
1,441
I text her saying that was an extremely shallow thing to have done and blocked her back.

Oh well. Onwards and upwards.

What was shallow about it? She may have just wanted more pictures to get a better idea on what you look like and then decided you were not what she was after.

But clearly my "FB presence" didn't meet her vain standards.

Bit judgemental when you don't even know the reason for her stopping contact with you.
 
Associate
Joined
25 Jan 2009
Posts
1,901
Location
UK
Yeah fair points. I just forgot how crappy it feels when someone does that I guess. Caught me off guard, partly due to new year's vibe etc. I doubt she even received my text anyway because I think she blocked my number the min she removed me from FB.

I dunno, I just always feel it's the polite way to go about things to just send a thoughtful message before doing something like that. But she seemed like the type to be doing that a heck of a lot. So to her it's just part of the online dating routine I suspect. I will never let someone randomly add me to social media like that again though. It just felt like insta-judgement that was all.
 
Caporegime
Joined
13 Jan 2010
Posts
32,495
Location
Llaneirwg
Yeah fair points. I just forgot how crappy it feels when someone does that I guess. Caught me off guard, partly due to new year's vibe etc. I doubt she even received my text anyway because I think she blocked my number the min she removed me from FB.

I dunno, I just always feel it's the polite way to go about things to just send a thoughtful message before doing something like that. But she seemed like the type to be doing that a heck of a lot. So to her it's just part of the online dating routine I suspect. I will never let someone randomly add me to social media like that again though. It just felt like insta-judgement that was all.

Worst I had was being blocked after 6th actual date. No issues at all to that point. I assume she was still on the site and got a better offer. At that point I expect a "sorry its not working out ",but I got nothing. That's where I called it a day on Internet dating lol

It gets far worse, what you had is standard practice
 
Associate
Joined
25 Jan 2009
Posts
1,901
Location
UK
Worst I had was being blocked after 6th actual date. No issues at all to that point. I assume she was still on the site and got a better offer. At that point I expect a "sorry its not working out ",but I got nothing. That's where I called it a day on Internet dating lol

It gets far worse, what you had is standard practice

Ouch! Yeah I think I wear my heart on my sleeve too much for this. Gonna delete it!
 
Caporegime
Joined
13 Jan 2010
Posts
32,495
Location
Llaneirwg
Ouch! Yeah I think I wear my heart on my sleeve too much for this. Gonna delete it!

If you are going to delete it (don't be too hasty unless you can't cope) try to meet new people through shared interests or friends of friends.

I met my gf and friends via a shared interest group. But never had any luck Internet dating (plus it was expensive ), most dates were good, but never got to gf stage.
 
Associate
Joined
25 Jan 2009
Posts
1,901
Location
UK
If you are going to delete it (don't be too hasty unless you can't cope) try to meet new people through shared interests or friends of friends.

I met my gf and friends via a shared interest group. But never had any luck Internet dating (plus it was expensive ), most dates were good, but never got to gf stage.

Yeah good idea. Do you mean like MeetUp stuff?

Got chatting to someone tonight and it went far better. Meeting for drink tomorrow. Gonna see how it goes but for now have set my tinder to invisible.
 
Soldato
Joined
18 Dec 2008
Posts
6,307
Location
Liverpool
Yeah she was the type to get spammed I could tell. Very materialistic / social media type. Worked in fashion etc. In a way, I was happy to have got as far as matching with her and getting her number. But clearly my "FB presence" didn't meet her vain standards. It would never have worked ultimately. Just would have been nice to get a polite message from her before a blocking.

It is a crappy thing to do, but speaking from albeit limited experience sending a "I'm sorry you're just not my type" message tends to go one of two ways. Either "You're a complete ugly *******, go die" or "please, please, please give me a chance... Don't I get a say, you'll learn to love me" type nonsense. Both of these happened multiple times to me when trying to let someone down gently; in the end I just found it easy to block and delete!
 
Back
Top Bottom