This Business and Moment...

[randomshenans]

I think his brother is in my house. Do you want him back?

**** that mate, you can keep him

To be fair... he got the job at the bakery, which is great. I want him to work on his feet for 8hrs a day learning the value of a $$! I feel it's important but today was his first proper day! I'm so pleased, he's actually enjoying it! He's tired lol but it's a massively milestone. The French don't get why we'd get our 16yr old to go to work... but then you have them on 35hr work weeks moaning they're too long and they don't get paid enough, have 2hr lunches, 3947745 fag breaks and 38469654 coffee breaks, then want to retire at 55!

 

[randomshenans]

@Rids don't be afraid to walk away if you an afford to

100% on this one. You are more important than anything else. On a plane they say you have to put your mask on before tending to anyone else, right? Because if you don't look out for yourself, nothing else matters anyway. This is the way I look at life now, which has changed a lot more in recent years.

 

[randomshenans]

It funny to see the culture of attitudes towards meetings. In my current place a lot of people show as in calls etc but they seem to just be short 1-2-1 calls checking information etc rather than full meetings requiring prep etc. Contrasted to my old place where in one quarterly call the CEO stressed the importance of downtime and a business wide rule to stop Friday afternoon meetings. Then promptly set up 3 meetings for the next Friday afternoon :/

I'm getting stuck in some of the above at the moment at work. 8-10 meetings a day. It's stupid and people are really bad for it and the reasons for them. It's just not at all productive and stupidly expensive. We currently are on this 2 week "rejuvenation" which is 2 weeks of no internal meetings. You can really use it as you like. Often people use it to catch up on work, or learn, or whatever. I'm doing the bare minimum - solving some key issues we needed to do on a couple of teams sessions, but not "meetings" apparently.

I've actually decided in my downtime that I'm going to push no meetings, unless pre arranged and justified, more than 30mins. I'll just decline them. This came about as someone sent me 5 more invites to role mapping workshops. An hour a piece, so that's 5 hours and we've already had 5... 10hours of what, 10-12 people's time? I'm not saying this work isn't important (well, actually I think it's being run poorly but that's by the by), it's more than we can collaborate more effectively. Using Teams chats, or online tools we have to come up with stuff collectively prior to getting 10-15 people in a workshop for an hour. It's not needed. Just run through stuff and use the meetings for key decisions and next action. I'm sick of it so I'm going to make a stand. The company says one thing, but people don't do it, but I think it's because they can't think like that and don't know how to do it. I'll either get a load of **** or back patting we will see!

 

[randomshenans]

I'm really struggling to concentrate at the moment. I would put this in GD as it's probably more suited to the relationships or mental health thread but hey, I prefer it in here it's having an impact on my work at the moment, so you know, it's related

Over the last couple of years it's been difficult at home and it's got to a point where my wife and I have decided we need some time apart. We are currently in therapy separately, which is useful. We both have past that has impacted our present and need to work on ourselves. My wife had a lot of trauma in her past that I think she never processed, which comes out in ways I don't think it should. Either way, we both are friends and we both love each other, but we equally know that we need to do this. We're wearing the scars of 10yrs of our relationship. I know for me personally my sense of self worth is extremely low and I really don't know who I am.
I think I spent so long now trying to be who she wanted me to be and being told it wasn't good enough, I need to work out how to be me, for me. This isn't to say she was a bad wife in any way and I'm not perfect in any way at all and have contributed my own **** into all of this. We've just hit this point where we're not effectively communicating and in a toxic communication infinite loop.
Therapy has made me realise that I also need to be needed. Scars from the breakup of my mum and dad when I was a kid, when he buggered off and didn't give a **** etc etc. and probably why I wanted so much to keep the family together. I do everything for this family. I put in everything I have to it. I don't have a lot of friends over here, but I think I'm OK with that... I think! I have the husbands of my wife's friends, and people I used to work with, but I don't have those people who really get me. I think that not many people understand my brain, least not me lol

I am going to try and get away this weekend, and maybe some of next week and go to the alps. See if I can get some head space. My wife is looking for a house nearby - we just want it to be all normal for the kids. Like I said we're not arguing, we're friends and still there for each other. Probably harder in a way but best for the kids. I couldn't put this in GD, it'd be all "she's run off with someone else" or "good luck she's going to screw you over" but I get it's not a normal situation. Most people don't come to this conclusion. Most people don't take the time to understand their relationships and see that they are not aligned and on the same frequencies. They leave it. They continue bickering and not resolving things until it's too late and the resentment has set in. We don't want that and have simply decided before that point to see if some time working on ourselves can help us both independently and then see what happens down the line.

Sorry for the mumsnet post. I am really trying to work on myself through all this. I spent so many years trying to be the best career-wise I could be, but neglected to look at whether I was trying to be the best me I could be, too. We're not defined by what we do, but who we are. It's taken me a lot longer than it should have to realise this.

I have some flexi-time at work and so might use up some of this and spend a long weekend or something in the alps. Get some space. Cycle. Walk. Just "be".

Right enough of my ****. Hope everyone is OK! Sorry for the bleugh!

 

[randomshenans]

The main issue is that we've lost the trust in our relationship. She doesn't trust me and I don't really trust her, so no simply getting away will change that. This has come from a lot of behaviour from both sides over the years and we need to really sort out why we are like we are or do the things we do before we can even try and come back together. I wish on one hand it'd be as simple as going away to fix it, but at the same time I don't... which is weird. I think it's really needed this time apart. I think she also needs to realise everything I do right now for the family and maybe she'll realise this when she has to do it all herself. I cook, clean, do the washing, help kids with homework, pick up kids, sort all admin, work full time, side projects, spend a lot of time with the kids on various projects and try and fit in some fitness too. Really at the moment, she gets in from the office and is done for the day. She socialises a lot more than me (she's out tonight, and friday. Was out twice last week) and I don't, which is my choice, but at the same time doesn't mean I wouldn't like a break from all the aforementioned **** I do. Which I don't think is understood because her breaks are socialising, whereas I would just like a break from having to keep everything together and sorting it all!

Like I said, it's really past the point of time alone together making any kind of difference if we're not effectively communicating. It just glosses over the core of the issues really and then we pretend it's OK and then really we've not dealt with anything. It's needed, but it doesn't stop it hurting.

Just because it hurts, doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do. Change is hard.

I really appreciate your thoughts and input, so thank you. We are making progress in therapy and haven't ruled out the possibility of us finding ourselves and rekindling something down the line, if it works. The risk is that we don't, but at the same time it's more important for us to find our happiness independently than anything else. I want nothing more than her to be happy in herself. For me, I just want to feel confident in who I am and that I'm a good person.

 

[randomshenans]

Maybe time apart will help you both see what you miss of each other, but if it doesn't and you find you're happier apart then that works too. Better to catch it whilst you're on good terms and friends than letting it descend into resentment which then makes for a nasty environment for the kids.

This is pretty much it really!

Thanks dude. I am picking my bike up from a mate's house tomorrow night, and going to head to the alps this weekend for a bit. No idea how long for. Can't be away forever although at this stage it feels like I need it, but know that'll cause issues too here.

 

[randomshenans]

Oh man, what a week I had. Emailed work and went, sorry I'm off for sometime. Got **** on and need a break. They were like ok, let us know how we can help, which is nice. Took myself off to the alps on my own. No kids, no anyone. On the way down the engine **** a crank on my 2017 range rover sport... not like it's an old car so that was nice. Properly left it's engine all the way up a mountain round and stopped. Got it into a layby but caused all sorts of stuff. Had the firemen there getting the oil off the road as we have fast bikes and cars up and down all day. The police. Then a tow truck towed me to some backend town in the middle of nowhere, where I had to get a taxi all the way up the mountain.
Anyway, that was on friday, it's now Weds. The car has been recovered up here to me. I have a chalet to myself and although I have a load of life admin to get through and sort, I'm really starting to feel OK, or better. Hopeful or optimistic is probably a better way of putting it. I can't get back all week, so that's me here until at least sunday. I might even take next week off as well and see how it goes... I'm working out each day. Either a bike ride, walk, or workout outside. Finding time to read, sort out stuff I've put off for months due to no time (or lack of priority tbf) and jst getting some time to find myself a bit.

It's done such wonders for me, it really has. Anyone feeling burnt out or feels like they might be. Take some time, go somewhere pretty remote and just be. It's bloody amazing.

Just had a meeting with the cheezus guys and smashed a load of stuff as well. I am more focussed on things as I feel I can think more clearly and it's something I should have done a long time ago. Don't burn yourself out people. You forget to appreciate today and one day there won't be a tomorrow.

 

[randomshenans]

run a small airport transfer/corporate travel company and as you can imagine covid pretty much wiped us out. Think going from 60 cars to 2 in terms of loss of business and scale.

Any chance you can look at businesses and come up with a revenue stream that way? Offer an hours based service or package where they sign a retainer, cash down, and get to use you when they want up to X hours, which saves them longterm in money and helps you with cash flow up front?

I'd be looking at also where the money is coming from and what is stopping it coming in? What are your main sources of revenue customer wise and how do you get them?

 

[randomshenans]

Head of Product left here while I was on my 2 week break. Come back to a complete **** show. I know the CIO wouldn't consider me for the role as he seems hell bent on having someone from a science background but whatever. I also don't think I'd want it longterm but would be a nice step before running from the mess the ad interim head of product is someone who's been there for like 25yrs and already has undone a lot of the stuff people have been working on. He said in a meeting yesterday "this is the last meeting I'm accepting on this topic" about a process that was being defined. He thinks product teams can work it out themselves, which they should be able to do, but the continuing feedback is that those on multiple product teams can't work out how to deal with things and need to be told exactly what the process is. So this should be fun dealing with all this.

I just really cannot be chewed with it all. It's OK though, I'm apparently good for producing PPTs for people at the moment. That seems to be my role. I'll suck it up for as long as I can, but it's fast becoming such a drag to push and fight constantly for things to be done better. Especially now with the new temp guy, it feels like starting all over again on certain things and this guy has completely different views.

Sod it, I'm a really well paid lacky who makes powerpoints and attends countless meetings

 

[randomshenans]

Don't stress... Yesterday I got a public (via Teams message) pat on the head for spotting several bad labels on code documentation. I'm a "software developer" but my most useful role is spell-checker

Oh dude lol I feel that ****!

Relate about the frustration pushing for better process - personally I'm a bit inexperienced in this field to try and take the lead by force. But it means I spend lots of time in meetings just pointing out what won't work, as I tend to know the details and gotchas behind our products.

What's ironic is I AM actually responsible for all product management processes lol but at the same time my role is buried and in a team that makes it pretty impossible to do without each tiny thing being a huge push/fight/persuasion to get them to understand. Ah sod it. I just spoke with the guy who is leaving, he's a really good guy and it's such a shame he's leaving. He's not even got anywhere to go, just said it's not worth his mental health being there and constantly fighting people to get them to do things properly. So I can see this is going to be me in the future. Or, I just concentrate on all 20000 things I work out besides this, take the pay, bonus and lovely pension and hope they don't notice I've virtually checked out from the company lobotomy!

 

[randomshenans]

I feel absolutely relieved today, hopefully no more moaning posts from me for at least 6 months !!

Well done mate! Bet that feels great. Good luck with the new gig!

 

[randomshenans]

Having some really busy weeks at the moment. I've realised if I want to get anywhere here it's got to be done with a big push from me and pushing back on certain things, not being afraid to put my thoughts across, as long as it's constructive and done well. I keep getting buried in low level operations work, which could be easily done by someone else, which would free me up to work on more product stuff. I had perviously raised this and the response was to prioritize more... I was like yea, sure, but you want all these things... so....? Spelling it out that the mix of strategic and operational work they were expecting from the hours in the day just didn't go and someone would have to support me in some of the tasks. Got told a couple of people would, was told to email them. Included their line managers, zero response. fffffffssss.

In light of my "being brave" in providing feedback, I sent a huge 4 pager to the CTO last week with my thoughts on where we had some fundamental gaps, which is what I believed was causing some issues with teams down the chain. It seemed to be taken well and he asked a lot of clarifying questions and we opened an interesting dialogue. I was very honest about my role and how I thought it didn't make much sense how it was and where it sits in the org. I still have a job so hasn't got me fired just yet. Lets see if it changes anything, or if it's lip service as usual and we plod on dysfunctionally again

 

[randomshenans]

100% agree with you and you're totally right. It was one of the things I really didn't want to do (as so many in the org do) just fire off a swampy email about how things are not right with no context, no thoughts and no willing to be a part of the solution in getting to where we want to be.

The two biggest things I think will help the organisation at the moment is a product strategy, but one that is real and inline with the NIBR 2.1 strategy they just released. They did one last year that was so disconnected it is impossible to set our OKRs against it and see how we're providing value against anything tangible. While I can't set the strategy, Mark (CTO) highlighted the lack of strategy and asked if I thought a lot stemmed from this. Which I agreed but also said it was important to have the strategy and it's alignment to the business outcomes extremely well linked.
I said I'd be happy to help define this with someone or give guidance and expressed the importance of a north star metric linked to that strategy that helps align all product and services to measure more impact. I have one of the best product speakers around at the moment lined up to do a talk, followed by a north star setting workshop for the product leaders, which I think will really help the business. He's coming into do all this for free.

I'm also starting a PoC with Atlassian on their JIRA Align product to help product teams capture their OKRs, as well as the progress on them. This should also help with the transparency of data, getting "alignment" on product strategy -> OKRs and that hierarchy which is missing now. And a huge one being cross team dependencies which we have a huge issue with at the moment. Hopefully this will be kicking off officially in a couple of weeks for a 3 month programme, which I kinda went off piste on and have been working on this for some time. I'm not one to jump to a tool to solve problems, but when the org is new to product like they are, I really think having something that spoon feeds a lot of this process will make it easier.

I did express that in general I felt there was some confusion on roles. The head of product management sits below the head of IPDS (Information products and Data Science - but includes product lines/teams, BAs, UX, product service managers, and the whole data science team) and just with those roles alone, I was like who is responsible for the creation and ownership of that strategy? It's not clear and then operationally in defining how product works with other groups in the business who deal with that?
Then you have me, who is apparently the "owner" of all product management processes in the business, but in reality, what does that really mean? How do they interact, who has decision rights? How can we make it make more sense?

Anyone can fire an email to a senior with some good ideas in. The trick is convincing people you can be accountable for the so-what, including mobilising a team to achieve those goals.

This is really it. I was a bit "I've not been asked to do this" and I hate feeling like that, as where I sit my group doesn't do product, they do operations, so I'm the only one in here representing a group I'm not a part of, so often feel I need to educate my group, in order to get visibility on what I'm doing first and then convince the rest of the org that I'm not a moron I think also as I was pretty new, I felt that people wouldn't listen to me, no matter which way I approached it and I had to earn my stripes, which is why I'm trying to get some big ticket things out that have some great impact, to try and do this. Whilst at the same time building as many relationships in the business so they know what I'm about and what I can do.
It was going well on that until the old head of product left, so now the ad interim guy is a Swiss guy who hates process and has been in the business for over 30yrs lol so I have my work cut out there.

I did mention in this email that I was confident I could get us to where we wanted to be, and I'd put myself forward for the head of product management, if they thought my value could fit that (I know it doesn't... they want a science person for some unknown reason since all our product managers are from a science background and I think more product focused would be a much better fit) but hey, let's see where it takes my role anyway. I love the mission of the company and working with scientists is cool. Just trying to move an old enterprise to a more agile and dynamic way of working is LOOONG and painful

Thanks for your comments though, I really do agree with what you're saying and that was my first major concern about voicing input and feedback without making sure it was done in the right way.

 

[randomshenans]

Weird one here at the moment, work is busy but I have loads of holiday to use up so only have 19 days left until 2022, so that's a bonus.

I sent a massive email of feedback to the CIO the other week. He was fairly receptive, but at the same time when I highlighted things where I cannot get insight that is needed due to where my position sits outside of product, he was like, that shouldnt be an issue, just ask. Well, I can only ask if I know stuff even exists... so frustrating a lot at times and find myself doing **** all product management stuff I enjoy.

I did apply for the head of product management position they have open after my mate Nigel left, but 1. they won't even give it a look and 2. the way the org is, Im not sure it'd be a fun role.

That being said, I have an interview on monday for a Swiss head of product role, fully remote. Company is more SME, which is cool. Interesting one, so see where that leads. On top of that someone reached out to me last night on linkedin about a well established blockchain company looking for a head of product too and asked if I would be interested. Fully remote, comes with many things apparently. Sounds the most exciting but highest risk. Where I am with it's wicked pension and benefits is what kills dreams lol why push yourself when you have your future planned out here? It's hard right?
I'll probably not get anywhere but few options seem to be popping up. Not like I'm stupidly unhappy, I like my job sometimes, it's just frustrating that's al and I can't see where I'd be doing more of what I love in the future here. Not to the degree I'd enjoy.

Anyway, will see. I've been pretty ill recently too. Had a bad kidney infection that took me out for a week, now a massive head cold. Mrs. is moving out as we speak, hopefully all finished by tomorrow. Then it's new chapter. Might as well start a new chapter rolling the dice on a role change

 

[randomshenans]

That being said, I have an interview on monday for a Swiss head of product role, fully remote. Company is more SME, which is cool. Interesting one, so see where that leads.

Went well, they would like to see me again. Small startup really. Well, they have funding and have enough revenue to pay their 19 staff, so it's not too bad and 2m in funding they just got. I have a feeling I'd be way too expensive for them though, so will see what happens.

Next one is the blockchain company, which is 19:45 tonight. Busy monday.

It’s a learning curve but it’s given me confidence funnily enough as to what to expect for the future interviews.

Always a good thing. Interviews are great practice, especially if you start doing them not even too fussed if you get the role as it takes all the pressure off and allows you to focus on the learning and experience of the process.

 

[randomshenans]

I wonder if its the same blockchain company I had an interview with a few months back. As the interview was around the sametime. Still, good luck!

Oasis Protocol? That's who this is for anyway!

With that, just got the confirmation yesterdays place want to see me again. So that's something.

 

[randomshenans]

On an side note, my girlfriend started her new role yesterday working for Bitcoinsuisse, interesting stuff she be doing troubleshooting with the work they do. Probably more interesting than my own job!

haha I met the founder of bitcoin suisse! Dude with long hair and a moustache. Looks like a magician hahaha sound role though! I think we'll see a huge increase in opportunities in blockchain in the next few years. So much more is happening than ever before.

 

[randomshenans]

Just what I need a few weeks before Christmas

Sorry to hear that mate! I'm sure it'll be easy to line something else up, but I get it's a ballache you don't need now.

That's basically it.

Late 90's, early 2000's I was building PC's every week. That way I learnt about hardware due to being hands on, as time moved on we moved to mobile devices such as laptops. Today people hardly repair anything because as you said, they just buy new ones and manufactures such as Apple purposely make their devices harder to repair. If they do break forcing you to buy new ones. Many laptops come with RAM and storage soldered to the board so you cant upgrade or repair them.

I find this with my kids. Oldest is nearly 17. He "knows" a lot of stuff as he's consumed it online. He practically has zero experience though and no confidence in trying. They're not used to it like we were. Just windmill in and work it out was what we virtually had to do.

I think they are a useful resource but you need a bigger sample size than four really. Most people won't go to the trouble of leaving a GD review unless they are either disgruntled about something or have been encouraged to do it by their employer.

Yea, agreed. Also varies a lot for bigger companies as each country/ office will be different so take that into account too.

 

[randomshenans]

That said, I do think there is an element of boomerism that goes on whereby we have some superiority complex about how 'back in the day' we used to be tinkering about and fixing stuff and 'kids today don't have the experience'. The fact of the matter is most of those skills are less valuable now because hardware and software is more user friendly and when you come across a problem you just google it or look for a video on youtube telling you how to sort it out. In other words having zero practical experience of something matters less if you know you can access relevant resources if a scenario comes up where you need to do something in that area. Maybe a good analogy would be say plumbing. I know nothing about it. 25 years ago if there was a minor plumbing issue, I would have to call a plumber. Now I can look it up on the internet first to see if there's an easy fix.

I do absolutely agree with that too. We did it out of need, but now there is less need for it. So the kids don't have to do half the stuff because it's not as valuable. We are essentially tech boomers

Also agree, but I do think we have a more windmilly attitude to things, because of our background. Yes the resources are available, but I have found the younger generation not as keen to dive headfirst in. It might just be my experience and I'd be happy to have others have other experiences. I happily look up plumbing stuff (genuinely have done and fixed some things here), or how to refurbish a piano and jump right in and do it.

 

[randomshenans]

My work have just changed my pay structure quite significantly. I was bonus'ed, but they have now removed the bonus and instead adding the 100% potential bonus onto my salary. This seems like incredibly good news, and I can't see any downsides. Is there any?

Depends on where it puts you bracket wise and what the bonus amount is, which would depend on where it hits you tax wise as a bonus vs. monthly take home.