Thursday Joke

Things I have learnt in the last 12 months.

Always tip taxi drivers in Cumbria
Never upset a bouncer from Newcastle
And keep up with the rent in Bristol.
 
Watching these Australian floods hasn't half shattered the image of my childhood hero, who always seems to be running away.

Skippy you're nothing but a **** for not rescuing anyone.




....Ok thats enough now :p
 
research has show that if you masturbate twice a week it can help towards prostate cancer....ive tallied up my count for the week and......im immortal !
 
A Welsh guy persuades his girlfriend to have anal sex for the first time. He says "If it hurts too much, yell the safety word and I will stop"

She says "Okay, what's the safety word?"

"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch"
 
I was eating my tea last night when I thought "This milk must be really out of date!"

I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.

AGNB. That's bang out of order.
 
Jono said:
They say sex complicates things. It's certainly complicated this chicken I was going to cook for dinner; it's totally ruined now :(


I don't understand rich people. They get to go out killing peasants and foxes with rifles, and people clap and cheer.
I killed a horse, which is ten times the size of a fox and people just cried. Plus I didn't even have a gun. I had to use a hammer.
Click to expand...

So this person went out and killed poor people and foxes?

Or did you mean Pheasants? ;)
 
A mate of mine successfully broke into the changing rooms at a Wigan v Aston Villa match and stole a number 15 jersey and a number 5 jersey.

It was cleverley dunne.
 
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