1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Thursday night's alright (for laughing)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Garp, 11 May 2006.

  1. Garp


    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 10,573

    Location: Seattle

    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

    "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

    The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

    The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

    They say the stitches will come out of his scalp in a few days but the grease burns will take another month or so to heal.
  2. _dogma_

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 11 Oct 2005

    Posts: 2,113

    Location: Kirkcaldy.

    Better than some jokes on here.

    Not brilliant though :p
  3. MR_Punk


    Joined: 23 Mar 2004

    Posts: 8,003

    Location: Up t'north

    A joke thats funny - OMG well done :D

  4. Zefan


    Joined: 15 Jan 2006

    Posts: 31,238

    Location: Tosche Station

    I like.
  5. Greenlizard0

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 15 Mar 2004

    Posts: 28,141

    Location: Liverpool

    old but good
  6. Royality


    Joined: 7 Dec 2003

    Posts: 3,528

    Location: Normandy

    Well at least I still thought it sucked. :D
  7. WantoN


    Joined: 11 Jun 2003

    Posts: 10,725

    Location: Hampshire

    Yeah I thought it sucked too :/

    Ant :cool:
  8. vanandjuanunited


    Joined: 20 Oct 2005

    Posts: 5,734

    Not bad compared to some of the other lame stuff touted as jokes posted here. :) :p
  9. Belmit

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 7 Nov 2002

    Posts: 7,612

    Location: The Winchester

    Hehe, I liked it. Reminded me of:

    A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”

    The wife sighs and gets him a beer.

    Fifteen minutes later, the man says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”

    She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.

    He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute.”

    The wife is furious. She yells at him, “Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore…”

    The man sighs and says, “It's started...”
  10. me227


    Joined: 30 Sep 2004

    Posts: 5,382

    Location: Belfast/Edinburgh

    I liked the 13 past 8 joke more. And thats saying alot. :o
  11. Exentia


    Joined: 27 Sep 2004

    Posts: 5,630

    Location: Bristol

    A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a 5-Iron golf club wrapped tightly around his

    Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?"

    "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.

    We went to look for them while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end."

    "I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball
    with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's arse.

    Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"

    "I don't remember much after that ..."

  12. Andr3w


    Joined: 6 Oct 2004

    Posts: 19,851

    Location: England

    lmao i loved Exentia's