Was expecting another nephew/niece

DarkShadow · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:13

About 4.50pm today I had found out that my Sister who was 5 months pregnant . . her child had died.

I'm genuinely in disbelief. Two days ago I took her out to a restaurant with my 2year old nephew (her first son) and we had a brilliant time and we were talking about names and just a general brother/sis chat. We had a brilliant time and she was REALLY happy and was going abroad next week on a holiday.

I just can't believe this has happened

I got onto the motorway to go see her asap. Her and other half seem to be holding up but she's been crying a lot and been on a downer. She has to give birth to premature dead child on Saturday and it's going to be very difficult.

Has anyones family/friends been though this. If so, any words of wisdom you could possibly share?

Cheers.

Zirax · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:15

There is nothing I can say to that really, except that my thoughts are with you during this time

Zefan · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:16

My god, very saddening to hear this sort of thing. Can't begin to imagine what that's like, my Sister is getting married this year and I'd be in pieces if that happened to her.

Pregnancies can go wrong in worse ways, I suppose this sort of event makes you value life that little bit more.

_dogma_ · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:18

Well I wasn't around when it happened but my mum lost two babies before me. She was incredibly down and had to be put on anti depressants and lost most of her hair due to the stress. My dad worked away and was away when it happened both times which made it worse. My gran was really supportive and looked after my brothers for her and the family was just there for her and she says that helped a lot.

Just be there for her. It's the only advice I can suggest.

red11 · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:21

That is awful and tragic. I really feel for your sister and her family, sending my prayers to you all. Rest in peace.

G|mp · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:23

Thats some bad **** to deal with man, condolences :/

Richdog · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:24

Sincere condolences, that's very sad, I hope your sister is ok.

Glaucus · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:26

I'm sorry to hear that

best of luck for you sister and you family in this difficult time.

no personal experience, but some one i Know regrets not having a burial for the baby, as it's somewhere they can go and grieve.

Dj_Jestar · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:28

My condolences to your family, I don't know what to say. Just..

BloomerzUK · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:37

My thought are with you and your sister, and your whole family.

neil3k · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:40

BloomerzUK said:
My thought are with you and your sister, and your whole family.

RIP Child.

Loki · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:45

My thoughts and condolences go out to you and your family. Absolutely tragic circumstances. My Mum lost a baby around the six month mark when I was seven. Be there for each other and put as much love as you can do into your sister, brother in law and nephew.

seven317 · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:48

My condolences Dark Shadow to your sister and you.
My sister had this happen to her at 5 months just the same as yours, she had a 2yr old son too.
She spent some time alone with the baby after the birth to say goodbye, at 5 months they are fully formed but tiny (maybe 1 or 2 lbs) This helped the grieving process.
They had a small service in the hospital chapel before the baby was cremated but you're sister might like a proper burial and someone should discuss this with her after the birth.
It is a very distressing time to lose a baby after carrying it so long and I'm sure you'll give your sister all the support that you can.

A year after that my sister gave birth to a healthy boy, she'll always remember the one she lost though, it was a girl by the way.

decmatt · 22 Mar 2007 at 22:52

It saddens me to read this, I coudnt imagine this happening to my sister at all, im truely thinking about your family during this tough time.

meghatronic · 22 Mar 2007 at 23:16

I'm truly saddened to hear this. It's not my place to comment, but please don't let her/him think it's their fault... they could run in guilt-circles without need.

nomad · 22 Mar 2007 at 23:26

so so sorry to hear this. my sister is pregnant at the moment and i know how devistated she would be. my thoughts are with your sister and family

Big Chris · 22 Mar 2007 at 23:28

That's terrible mate, can't imagine how your family is feeling right now but pass on the love from this thread

.

WoZZeR · 22 Mar 2007 at 23:30

I'll second that. Tough times.

Ringo · 22 Mar 2007 at 23:31

We had a friend go through this many years ago, she had a picture of her baby taken and gave it a proper burial so she had somewhere to go in years to come.

My thoughts are with you.

DarkShadow · 22 Mar 2007 at 23:39

seven317 said:
My condolences Dark Shadow to your sister and you.
My sister had this happen to her at 5 months just the same as yours, she had a 2yr old son too.
She spent some time alone with the baby after the birth to say goodbye, at 5 months they are fully formed but tiny (maybe 1 or 2 lbs) This helped the grieving process.
They had a small service in the hospital chapel before the baby was cremated but you're sister might like a proper burial and someone should discuss this with her after the birth.
It is a very distressing time to lose a baby after carrying it so long and I'm sure you'll give your sister all the support that you can.

A year after that my sister gave birth to a healthy boy, she'll always remember the one she lost though, it was a girl by the way.

I'm going to be by her side for as long as she needs me. We're definitely having a burial. Feel very distressed

Should I send her tulips or roses? I've seen a florist that will deliver 50 tulips which seem fairly nice, but delivery is for Tuesday.