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What's your worst online dating experience?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by GIBURROWS, Sep 11, 2019.

  1. ianh

    Mobster

    Joined: Jul 12, 2007

    Posts: 4,506

    Location: Saudi and occasionally Stoke.

    Got catfished - "Sophie" aged 27, a tallish blonde non-smoker from Oxford who was into outdoor activities like hiking etc.

    She turned out to be "Sofie" aged 40+, Polish, a heavy smoker with limited English skills along side being a 18+ stone 5ft2 very facially unattractive lady with hair dyed bright red who was looking for one of two things, a paid meal and/or a husband.

    I was gone in under 5 minutes after a single drink.
     
  2. rebel rebel

    Mobster

    Joined: Mar 30, 2010

    Posts: 2,761

    Location: Exile

    Told this one in the previous online dating thread..

    Met a woman on OKcupid and we decided on going for a walk in the park as a first date. All was going well until we saw a couple having sex, no shame at all, people everywhere, they were really going for it!

    Decided to leave the park and go back to my place for pizza. Before we had met up she had told me she hated weed as it had messed her brother up, so I didn't tell her I was a regular smoker. Whilst we ate the pizza I put the dog out of the living room so he didn't disturb her.. When I opened the door to let him back in, he came trotting in with a packet of blue slim Rizla+ in his mouth and basically dropped them at her feet. :D
     
  3. JBuk

    Capodecina

    Joined: Nov 28, 2002

    Posts: 10,923

    Location: Cumbria

    **** blocked by your dog, excellent!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 12, 2019
  4. Begbie

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 20, 2004

    Posts: 23,168

    Location: .....

    This has happened to me.

    Noticed a white ring shape (she was tanned) mid pumpage. 'open relationship' allegedly.
     
  5. Jean-F

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Apr 14, 2017

    Posts: 1,589

    Location: London

    Good call, corner of Great Titchfield Street.

    Me too, great isn’t it?
    Don’t know about you, but it was so easy wasn’t it? :)
    Don’t think I could be bothered with that online malarkey, sounds like hard work.
     
  6. Diddums

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 24, 2012

    Posts: 18,503

    Location: London

    Your mum.
     
  7. Thekwango

    Capodecina

    Joined: Feb 5, 2009

    Posts: 11,217

    Location: Northern Ireland

    Very true. You also learnt how to handle rejection without turning into a quivering mess. You learnt how to actually speak to women and indeed how to actually converse generally and not be a social pariah. Skills sadly lost on a whole lot of the current generation.
    Take the current generation and send them out on the pull in any era right up to the early 90’s and guaranteed most are going home alone for a ham shank. :p
     
  8. iamdjdz

    Mobster

    Joined: Nov 24, 2006

    Posts: 4,188

    Location: Liverpool

    I went on a date with a girl who I suspect thought she had got my friends number when we had gone out a few nights previous (we were all trollied). She went along with it well though and we were getting on ok when the subject of family came up (not having a family). It turned out her mum had died in the exact same circumstances as my mum (brain cancer) but a few months previously. It obviously shocked and upset her talking about it and we walked our separate ways shortly after and never saw or spoke to each other again.. that was an odd one.
     
  9. Illuminist

    Mobster

    Joined: Sep 26, 2017

    Posts: 3,127

    Location: In the Masonic Temple

    This is similar to my story, that again in not sure I can share, all I can say is I went through with it and ended up with the girl
     
  10. rebel rebel

    Mobster

    Joined: Mar 30, 2010

    Posts: 2,761

    Location: Exile

    A spam email I just received...

     
  11. Diddums

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 24, 2012

    Posts: 18,503

    Location: London

    ******* friendzone :mad:

    Your post may as well have been written by me. No father growing up, single mum, etc. Basically been raised that women are fragile petals who need to be treated like princesses for 17 years before even trying first base.

    A few stories (all in Holland I should add)...

    One was a girl named Elaine, hottest spicy thing going, was really in to her. Built her a PC, helped her select music for her modelling thing in Barcelona (Eric Prydz, Call On Me), bam - friendzone. We lost contact eventually when my life went pretty dark with illegal substances, she broke away from the group and moved in with a boyfriend and whatnot. I went to my home town about a year ago, booked the newest fanciest hotel and bumped in to her there. She'd obviously not come much further in life whereas I'd flipped the script completely and am doing rather well. It felt amazing standing there with my wife, posh hotel, well dressed, nice rental car etc. I could see a little look in her eyes, but that ship sailed.

    Another far more relevant one... Joyce. I'll never forget Joyce. Proper farmers' girl, from a town with about 50 residents, she was as reliable as an old Soviet tank, always there when you needed her and every single one of my mates used her plenty, except me, who ended up watching a film with her. Like seriously wtaf.

    Elisa, lovely girl, about 14ft tall (tall by Dutch standards, says it all really), ended up getting to second base in the cinema (Star Wars: Ep 1), and that's as far as it got.

    The only woman I've met via online only was Jolanda. Met her on ICQ, was 21 at the time. Turned out she was a 34 year old cop with the uniform, handcuffs, the lot. Holy moly, she certainly taught me a thing or two, absolutely mental.

    Now I'm married and work in a Swedish company where 70% of the staff are women and all between 25-35. It's ridiculous. If I wasn't married I'd have been sacked ages ago.
     
  12. NVP

    Soldato

    Joined: Sep 6, 2007

    Posts: 5,637

    The word is "groomed"

    Haha you had some absolutely gorrrrrgeous friends to be fair! I think it was actually Kim who introduced me ans you together in first year... aaah Kim...

    Heathen!
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2019
  13. Vexr

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Oct 15, 2018

    Posts: 1,036

    I thought girls friend-zoned you, not the other way round :p

    My family is male-dominated, and I always assumed guys with plenty of females in their family had an advantage with girls. Perhaps I was mistaken :p
     
  14. flea.rider

    Hitman

    Joined: Aug 7, 2017

    Posts: 687

    why do you need a dating site .. not going harsh on anyone .. been married 28 yrs ..
    do you lot not go out drinking ? or meet new people ? seems very strange to me ..
    I get the long work hrs .. this week im doing 7 days 5 nights 60+ hrs .. but you can still go out or in and meet people ?
     
  15. Diddums

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 24, 2012

    Posts: 18,503

    Location: London


    Wait till you hear about these new "mobile phones" people have and what you can do with them, it's utter insanity!
     
  16. doodah

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 18, 2002

    Posts: 20,504

    Location: London

    Tomato/tomato.....you say groomed, i just took a really long time (15 years):p:p:p. Worked in the end ;)
     
  17. ianh

    Mobster

    Joined: Jul 12, 2007

    Posts: 4,506

    Location: Saudi and occasionally Stoke.

    Money mostly - the cost of going out every night just on the risk of a chance meet-up vs a known date arranged online.

    Plus online is "easier" for those older types now as no 40+ divorced lady will be hanging around her local pubs looking for a date, she'll get scared off by all the nervous wives, whereas online is easier to arrange dates.
     
  18. NVP

    Soldato

    Joined: Sep 6, 2007

    Posts: 5,637

    Wait, didn't she just turn 24? And you're nearly 40 bro! :p
     
  19. Pawnless Endgame

    Capodecina

    Joined: May 10, 2004

    Posts: 10,488

    Location: Sunny Stafford

    These 2 posts.

    I heard that girls lining up multiple dates is commonplace, and on the interview note, girls will call you back for a 2nd and 3rd interview like as if interviewing for employment. I think the reason is that the net is still male dominated, so more guys than girls and it means that girls can be more picky.

    Then it works like this - 4 grades, A, B, C and D.

    Grade A guy will happily take a grade B girl.
    Grade B guy will happily take a grade C girl.
    Grade C guy will happily take a grade D girl.

    What's left are the grade A girls because they won't take anyone and the grade D guys because they are at the bottom of the pile and will never be taken.
     
  20. doodah

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 18, 2002

    Posts: 20,504

    Location: London

    28/34 you numpty :p!!!!