Who to turn to?

M0T

M0T

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Up until very recently I had a really close friend who I told everything to. It turned out she was just using me for attention and after a very messy confrontation we no longer talk. But this has left me with nobody to talk to, I could tell her things that I couldn't tell anybody else and she always knew exactly what to say. Now she is gone everything is just worse than it was before and there is nobody to talk to about it, I can't talk to my family or friends because there is stuff I don't want them to know. So who is left?
 
Well without knowing anything about your life how is it a question anyone can answer? The Sumaritans will listen if you have no-one else to turn to. Good luck getting it sorted whatever you do.
 
I have posted here before and it seems to work on a short term basis but then I'm back where I started and there is only so many times people want to read that sort of stuff.
 
Ah, i had that problem last year, or was it 2 years ago? something like that :p
Basically, there is no solution. You just carry on best you can, hoping you'l find someone else as good soon.
Ranting about it to a couple of online friends helped for a bit, but I know what ya mean about talking about some thigns to only one person.

Nothing to do except hope you find someone else! At least that's what i'm going with, lol.
 
M0T said:
Up until very recently I had a really close friend who I told everything to. It turned out she was just using me for attention and after a very messy confrontation we no longer talk. But this has left me with nobody to talk to, I could tell her things that I couldn't tell anybody else and she always knew exactly what to say. Now she is gone everything is just worse than it was before and there is nobody to talk to about it, I can't talk to my family or friends because there is stuff I don't want them to know. So who is left?

I can relate, I just bottle things up and let rip on annual basis.

Sometimes talking a problem out can give us more questions than answers and we end up spiralling out of control in thought process. My advice is to do things that occupy your mind. For me computer games do that (strategy ones) I forget thinking about problems and focus at what is happening at hand.
 
Samaritans
Jesus / Muhammed/ Allah /God
Me

Seriously get out more and before you know it you will have real good friends. If you really have to speak to someone, you can talk to me. [email protected] :)
 
M0T said:
Up until very recently I had a really close friend who I told everything to. It turned out she was just using me for attention and after a very messy confrontation we no longer talk. But this has left me with nobody to talk to, I could tell her things that I couldn't tell anybody else and she always knew exactly what to say. Now she is gone everything is just worse than it was before and there is nobody to talk to about it, I can't talk to my family or friends because there is stuff I don't want them to know. So who is left?


sounds like you were using her for attention as well? :p

how can she use you for attention if she was a agony aunt?

I know women do love attention and most of them do seek it, but i dont understand here :)
 
MSN is a good medium for personal honest chat.
Pick a few Level headed people off here, add them and get to know them.
I find my MSN friends give good honest clear advice as they are detached from the actual situation. Knowone is obligated to chat either so all is good.
See the green man say Hi and away you blab. :)
 
FishThrower said:
sounds like you were using her for attention as well? :p

how can she use you for attention if she was a agony aunt?

I know women do love attention and most of them do seek it, but i dont understand here :)

Because we talked to each other, she wanted me to tell her everything because it made her feel important not because she wanted to be my friend.

And the end of it she didn't care about me one bit because she had found someone else to do the same thing for.
 
Could part of the reason that you felt it easy to open up to her, in comparison to anyone else, be because you wanted something more to happen with her?

Depending on how bad your issues are then maybe counselling? It costs but for that hour it's all about you and there's no judgement passed or fall outs.
 
Of course I wanted something more with her, and she told me she wanted something more with me. The entire problem arose because after spending a week seeing each other every day she just went completely weird with me. Nothing happened just one minute we were out and she was jumping all over me and telling me how great I was, then we got back to hers and she just clammed up. After that she cancelled a date and wouldn't talk to me, I got upset and tried to find out what was wrong and she said she just wanted to be friends. I could have dealt with that except she then tried to convince me nothing had ever happened between us, anything she said was just a complex joke and she then went out of her way to upset me.

Its been almost a month now and I have seen her once when she came up to me in a bar, I got rid of her then but I am left wondering what happened. She wouldn't tell me and doesn't care that we arn't talking any more.

The killer of it is I would have been happy just staying friends with her but she wanted to go out with me, and because of that I fell for her.
 
M0T said:
Of course I wanted something more with her, and she told me she wanted something more with me. The entire problem arose because after spending a week seeing each other every day she just went completely weird with me. Nothing happened just one minute we were out and she was jumping all over me and telling me how great I was, then we got back to hers and she just clammed up. After that she cancelled a date and wouldn't talk to me, I got upset and tried to find out what was wrong and she said she just wanted to be friends. I could have dealt with that except she then tried to convince me nothing had ever happened between us, anything she said was just a complex joke and she then went out of her way to upset me.

Its been almost a month now and I have seen her once when she came up to me in a bar, I got rid of her then but I am left wondering what happened. She wouldn't tell me and doesn't care that we arn't talking any more.

The killer of it is I would have been happy just staying friends with her but she wanted to go out with me, and because of that I fell for her.

Move on, its not healthy for you living in the "what if" and "what was". Why want or dream of being with a girl whose not mature enough to know what she wants.
 
Spacky said:
Move on, its not healthy for you living in the "what if" and "what was". Why want or dream of being with a girl whose not mature enough to know what she wants.

Not so easy to do when you have just lost your best friend.
 
Yeah I know what the situation was, I posted in your original thread about it. What I meant was, was the fact that you wanted to get with her the reason why you found it so easy to open up to her or would you have felt like you could anyway?

I think maybe when you actually move on from her then you'll be able to think about other things a bit more rationally because you seem to be clutching on to what could've happened. Maybe there is someone you could talk to but right now you're not seeing it because you're too busy thinking about how she was the person you used to talk to, or maybe you're wary of opening up to anyone else because of how she treated you.

It's not easy being messed around but you really need to start moving on or else it's going to have an adverse effect on your life.
 
I don't find it easy to open up to any body because of some bad past experiences, shes just another person in a long line of people that kick me in the chest when I let my guard down. She kept telling me I was safe with her and she would never hurt me and I could trust her with myself and look what happened. I think it goes to prove that I am probably better off on my own.
 
M0T said:
Not so easy to do when you have just lost your best friend.

Can't have been much of a good friend if she can't be bothered, sometimes in certain situations people show their true colours.

Don't have girls as your best mate, it gets messy. If anyone here can say its easy then fine I'll take back my comment.
 
Don't think like that.

There are a lot of people out there who won't deserve your trust but at the same time there are some really good people who won't abuse the trust you give them.
 
M0T said:
Not so easy to do when you have just lost your best friend.

been in the exact situation mate, all i can say is occupy your self with other things and you'll forget about her, go out and get a gf etc. i know easier said then done though ;)
 
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