Why did you / why do you want to have children

[Joshy]

I've been thinking about this a bit as I'm approaching the age that my parents were when they had me (21). I always thought I was strange because I actually really wanted kids when I was growing up and didn't think I'd mind having. But now that the thought is actually vaguely viable now I don't really know if I want them anymore.

My friend has two kids already and is a similar age as me. At first I thought good on him, being grown up, etc, but now I think about his situation and think that it is my idea of hell.

I'm only just getting to the point where I can enjoy my freedom, time and disposable income. The thought of bringing something into this world that is going to wipe all of those out for the next 21+ years of my life doesn't really appeal much anymore

 

[Draeger]

You will never know how good it feels to have children until you actually have one.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

I'm loving the BEEP BOOP I AM A ROBOT HOW DO CHILDREN WORK? responses. They're glorious

 

[Castiel]

When I did I hated them.

Wow, you hate something....what a surprise......

 

[EdGey]

My brother had a kid recently and while I love the little guy, I can't be around him for too long.

Kids are just too noisy for me, plus they need constant attention. Hell I'm not even in a committed relationship due to not wanting to be tied down.

Must admit I feel the same at times.

My sister has a 1 year old. He's great but I can't be around him all that long. It's just uncomfortable for some reason.

I'd imagine it's different if they're yours though

 

[KautoStar]

Find the whole 'turns you into a real man' and 'makes you mature/grow up' thing hilarious and to be a utter lie. Once a ***** always a *****.

 

[FARGO]

Come back in three years, update the thread and tell us how you feel then

 

[Narj]

I think too many people have kids just because it's 'the done thing', or because of some hormonal needs that as a sentient species we should be able to overcome. The world needs many things, but more people is not one of them.

Absolutely this. I'm made to feel like some sort of leper by some of my family because I haven't done the so called normal thing yet..

The most environmentally friendly thing you can possibly do is to not have children. Also, the looking after you in old age excuse is extremely selfish and I'd wager that many citing it don't have experience of caring for an elderly relative. It is not fun and my life was on hold for several years in that situation. Not that I would change anything, it was just hard going.

 

[Castiel]

The most environmentally friendly thing you can possibly do is to not have children.

Or you could stop consuming yourself of course......and who is going to pay for your healthcare, social and state services, produce your goods, drive the bus, treat you in hospital, serve you in the shop, if no-one has children......The world may need less people, but it's not the young productive ones it needs less off.

If you don't want to have children, fine...but don't vilify those who do.

 

[Mickie]

coming home to my little daughter is a good feeling, makes me happy watching her try to walk and everythiing else she does, shes made my quality of life better..

their are lots of good reasons for having kids, is life really all about money?

 

[Scythe]

I'm always having thoughts about kids when I'm older. I'm only 20 now, but I'm looking forward to the time when I am financially stable enough, and in a good relationship, to have children. The thought I've always had is I'm looking forward to bringing my child up and letting them have the best shot at life I can provide for them.

My family struggled quite a lot, so I was never able to do some of the things I wish I had the opportunities at, and it's one of those things that has really pushed me to be independent and get a good education and job to break the 'circle' so to speak, and not to end up in a dead-end job for the rest of my life.

Luckily, I've landed a brilliant job for my year in industry for my degree, and this is my second large international engineering company I will have worked for before my 21st birthday. Hopefully, I will return back to the company as a graduate and have a good head start to my career, if not, I will already have an impressive range of experience within Engineering which should help.

I want to really push my children to do as well as they can and be there for them to maximise their possibilities, something my parents couldn't do. I want to show them that you don't have to settle with things because "that's the way it is", I want them to go and achieve, but also to be happy as ultimately, they'll be able to pursue a career they enjoy, and therefore be able to enjoy life a lot more. It's not all about work and success, I just want them to be happy and well provided for, but not spoilt.

 

[bhavv]

Wow, you hate something....what a surprise......

Well, its just the kids where I grew up .....

Just look at me and I was like the best of the bunch :x

Horrible evil kids around where I am.

Teenage gangs / mobs / happy slappers / early drug abusers etc etc. Not gonna bringing any kids into that myself.

 

[Bennie-Mac]

Didn't have an option to decide. After a decade of being careful, one afternoon we said **** it and made a 'deposit'. Didn't realise i was so potent

You think you're potent? My mate is having a baby and his swimmers powered through a condom and the pill .

 

[bhavv]

their are lots of good reasons for having kids, is life really all about money?

Kids are about money. You have kids, make sure they become doctors, get them an arranged marriage to another rich person, and then they will support you in old age?

Thats how the azn'z do it.

 

[Castiel]

Well, its just the kids where I grew up .....

Just look at me and I was like the best of the bunch :x

Horrible evil kids around where I am.

Teenage gangs / mobs / happy slappers / early drug abusers etc etc. Not gonna bringing any kids into that myself.

Dude, you really need to move....wherever it is you live, it's messing with your mind!!!!

 

[helpimcrap]

because it would be cool. I'd have to go through the normal process of marriage, house then kids as i wouldn't want to become one of those dead-beat dads.I know too many who just get a woman up the duff and walk away. I'm trying to find a gf without kids as if i had some they would have to be mine. I like to think i have some morals and am just a nice person. Difficult but hey ho....

btw - i am not referring to the dads who tried to make it work but it couldn't and who still take an active interest in their kids life as the dead beat dads - the ones i'm referring to are often on benefits with no job and have been a sponger their whole life.

 

[Narj]

Or you could stop consuming yourself of course......and who is going to pay for your healthcare, social and state services, produce your goods, drive the bus, treat you in hospital, serve you in the shop, if no-one has children......The world may need less people, but it's not the young productive ones it needs less off.

If you don't want to have children, fine...but don't vilify those who do.

My consumption is likely to be far, far less than average tbh and I wasn't suggesting that we make ourselves extinct, more that children should be a carefully considered decision.

I'm not vilifying anyone, by the way. I'm just saying that I think the "someone to look after me" motive is a tad selfish, that's all. If I ever had kids, I'd not want to be a burden to them in later life.

 

[RDM]

My consumption is likely to be far, far less than average tbh and I wasn't suggesting that we make ourselves extinct, more that children should be a carefully considered decision.

I'm not vilifying anyone, by the way. I'm just saying that I think the "someone to look after me" motive is a tad selfish, that's all. If I ever had kids, I'd not want to be a burden to them in later life.

Surely "I'll let someone else's kids look after me" is even more selfish?

 

[Narj]

Surely "I'll let someone else's kids look after me" is even more selfish?

Eh? If I'm ever in a state where I need someone else to wipe my bum, I'll stick my head in a gas oven! At least I think that's what you're getting at... besides, I'm likely to have to pay for any care in old age - people employed in care homes or health services made a career choice and are paid for it?

 

[Castiel]

My consumption is likely to be far, far less than average tbh and I wasn't suggesting that we make ourselves extinct, more that children should be a carefully considered decision.

Children should be a carefully considered decision whatever the circumstances, ecological concerns should be the least of them. I am all for population controls, it is one of my pet subjects and think that it is really the only solution to ensure the longevity and stability of the human race.

I'm not vilifying anyone, by the way. I'm just saying that I think the "someone to look after me" motive is a tad selfish, that's all. If I ever had kids, I'd not want to be a burden to them in later life.

No parent wants to be a burden on their kids and I do not think you will find many people who have kids primarily to act as caregivers in later life.......But surely a family is about helping and supporting each other, it isn't a one way street?