Why did you / why do you want to have children

fez said:
Exactly! We would all love our own personal cheerleader every time we go pee pee or manage to get out of bed with a hangover but it just makes you seem like there is nothing else in your life if that is a highlight.
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If you passed an important exam mate, you'd be happy and want those around yo to be happy for you....and proud i guess.
When babies cut their first tooth, or toddlers get out of nappies etc, it's a milestone, simple as that. As kids grwo they experience far more milestones than adults usually would. And yes, parents like to celebrate it, beacause other parents 'understand' these milestones.

Have you NEVER posted a thread similar to "yay, passed my test" or "yay, i just won xxx", or "yay, bought a new pc" in the hope that something will reply with "congrats dude"?

Regarding my post about 'selfish' non-parents, i think you didn't read it properly. I wasn't saying 'selfish' in a negative way, as i think i pointed out. It meant that they would rather focus on themselves (or soemthing else) rather than give full attention to children, which is fine btw.

Its a shame some folk seem to be simply posting to try and wind the parents up with their "you're robots" type of posts.
Shallow, shallow, shallow.
If you're not ready to be a parent, then fair enough, but some posts are mind-bogglingly dumb!
 
Banzai_Joe said:
With very few exceptions, all parents will be proud of their children no matter what.
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I surely enjoyed my regular dose of verbal abuse when I got 6 B's and 2 C's in my GCSEs because I didnt have any A's and couldnt become a doctor anymore, not that I ever wanted to be one in the first place.
 
PianoBasher said:
I'd feel pretty awful about my stance if I were an only child as there is almost an obligation to have kids, so to speak. It'd be interesting to hear opinions from people in that situation.
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I've often wondered that too. I only have one child, but i guess most parents would naturally expect their kids to grow up and start their own family.
My fiance has twins boys aged 18, one has cystic fibrosis and his chances of fathering a child are limited (not zero however), which is pretty sad for someone who has already said he'd like a family... :(
 
bhavv said:
Why? Whats wrong with adoption?
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An adopted child is not a product of your own genetic material so many people would much rather have their own biological child (all part of the previously discussed primal urges and desires), whether they will admit it or not.

I must say I really admire those who do adopt, though.
 
It happened by accident to me, I'll let you know in September how it feels.

It has made me realise my responsibilities, I don't think there is ever a good time for children though. You'll always wish you did X and had Y. Some people are fantastic parents with a shoestring budget.
 
KautoStar said:
Find the whole 'turns you into a real man' and 'makes you mature/grow up' thing hilarious and to be a utter lie. Once a ***** always a *****.
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true. selfish ********* shouldnt be parents. i used to be one but once i hit around 35 i mellowed and accepted that my life isnt my own any more. its me and the wife. then we had a kid and it all changed.

i love my son more than anything. i get home and see a bit smiling face. he is a good kid (for < 9mths old!) and laughs all the time and seems to already have my cheeky side.

  • dont have kids until you are > 30 (kids seem to think it makes them a man having a kid early - no it makes you a tool)
  • make sure its with someone you can live with for the next 20 years
  • realise that you will need to dedicate your free time to your children
  • make sure you can afford it. if you are benefits DO NOT even contemplate having a kid.... dont expect everyone else to pay for its upbringing. be financially responsible yourself.
 
Baz said:
I am the complete opposite, whenever I see people with babies/kids I cringe.
Maybe it's fear, maybe it's something else, I dunno, maybe I am scared of being a bad parent, I don't want that to happen, so I rather it could never.

But I don't think with me it's that, I just don't like kids, babies especially. (even worse when people show me a smugged ultrasound of a blob nest to a smaller blob within a fuzzy blob)

Plus they don't do catterys or kennels for kids, unlike pets :p
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they do, its called grandparents. mine are too old to look after a baby (they are 70+) but my wife is 10 years younger than me and her parents are only 40-50. they love having our son and it gives us a night off once a month.

fear of doing something wrong is just cowardice ;) fair enough if you dont want to try something but wanting to try something and being too scared is called being another name for a cat/lady part :D
 
BusError said:
No, never really wanted them -- we had an agreement with my wife of 20 years that if one 'arrived' by accident, we'd become good robots (like we would have a choice anyway) but we wouldn't have kids voluntarily.

Also, with my and her profile and family history, the risk of autism was very high and we'd have been taking the risk of ruining 3 lives just to give in to an hormonal drive.
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go get the snip and dont risk it. you would make a horrible parent from what i read. some people arent cut out for caring for anyone but themselves, which i get but then you shouldnt be doing anything that might result in a child. so many bad potential parents out there, happily practising
 
ci_newman said:
Aren't you lucky that your parents didn't think that 20+ years ago :p

Have a little respect for the hard work that your parents put into raising you.
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Indeed I am, however it was still a choice they made. Much like the choice I'm making not to have kids.

As for respect - I have the utmost respect for my parents and them raising me, it's just not something I want to go through myself.
 
I don't want to have kids either. I can't stand them. I'm also too selfish to even consider having any, I wouldn't want to give up my job or my life for a crying, puking bundle of joy. If there was no thing as contraception I'd quite happily (I say happily but it is major surgery!) get a hysterectomy.

There are too many children in this world as it is whose parents don't want them/love them and I don't want to be adding any more to an already over-inflated population. Add to that all the problems that could go wrong during pregnancy or that could be wrong with the baby and it's a definite no. Since I'm only 23 and been assured that I'll change my mind in the future, I may adopt but I really don't want to give birth.

I would rather just stick to having pets, they love you unconditionally.
 
I'm 24 and the idea of having a child is hellish. I enjoy company when I want it, and I enjoy chilling out on my own when I want to. The idea of someone or something dominating my time and life isn't something I look forward to.


I assume I'll gradually change my mind as I grow older...
 
Number_25 said:
I don't particularly like children, I have a good birth control to stop any potential mishaps from happening in the bedroom.

It's called my face.

/forever alone
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Haha, you kidding. Take a look at me and my GF in the GF thread to see that it's possible no matter what you look like. (Hint I look different).

bhavv said:
IMO Childrens homes would actually raise most kids out there better than their parents do tbh.
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What. The. **** ?????
 
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