Would you get married in a church?

Man of Honour
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This isn’t a thread for religion bashing or belief preaching, just for opinions on the following:

I really like churches. I think they are beautiful, traditional buildings that have been a place of many joyous occasions. As such, I couldn’t imagine a better place to become married. However, I am not a Christian. This, to some extent, makes me feel that it would be disrespectful for me to get married in a church.

I was asked “but surely if you don’t believe in God, then it doesn’t matter anyway?”. However, I cannot agree. I think it would, arguably, be mocking Christian beliefs by taking advantage of what is essentially a religious building for my own benefits.

I’m not getting married any time soon (thankfully ;)), but I thought it was an interesting point of discussion. Is it right to get married in a church if you are not religious? What do you plan to do, or what have you done?
 
Man of Honour
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Yes, I would. No, I would not care that I am not religious. It would be the setting not the connotations I would be doing it for.

I'd probably choose a castle. Just as lovely a building, a fair bit less common, without the centuries of insanity.
 
Soldato
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just because you are not a christian it doesn't mean you can't/don't follow christian beliefs, so no, i don't think it matters personally.

perhaps you should look into christian beliefs and make your own mind up?
 

Nix

Nix

Soldato
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I've decided that I'd be hypocritical for me to choose one venue (i.e. a church) over another (a registrar) based on my religious leanings, so should a woman ever manage to twist my arm insofar as to tie me down, then I'll simply let her decide. Weddings, in my opinion, are for the women anyway. Boys don't grow up dreaming of running away in a wedding dress, they just climb trees to get away from the annoying game of kiss-chase. ;)
 
Caporegime
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However, I am not a Christian. This, to some extent, makes me feel that it would be disrespectful for me to get married in a church.

I was asked “but surely if you don’t believe in God, then it doesn’t matter anyway?”. However, I cannot agree. I think it would, arguably, be mocking Christian beliefs by taking advantage of what is essentially a religious building for my own benefits.

I think you have answered your own question here. I do find it hypercritical that people who do not believe in god, gather in gods house for his blessing.

There are plenty of lovely country parks and hotels for a civil ceromony which makes for just as nice day for those that are doing it for the glamour.
 
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Associate
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Neither my wife, or I, are religious, so we didn't get married in a church. Felt it would be hypocritical, even though both our families have strong beliefs and (mine, at least) are regular churchgoers.

Funnily enough we had our service in a castle! Small family do, with reception at a country club the next evening.
 
Man of Honour
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I'm an atheist and got married in a church. It was important to my wife so I did it. It's a lovely historic building and the idea that over five or six centuries thousands of other people made a commitment to each other had some appeal to me. I just ignored the god bothering stuff as best I could.
 
Associate
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We aren't Christian either, and as such we were married in a hotel. We felt that getting married in the eyes of the Lord meant nothing to us, and that a ceremony and vows steeped in religion would be meaningless.

The other thing that put her off was she felt bad that we might be stealing a venue that some real Christians might want for their wedding.

Saying that, I love pokey old country churches, but we ended up with an equally as nice setting anyway.
 
Soldato
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We did, I wasnt bothered but mrs wanted to. Costs were not a lot more compared to a civil wedding/partnership/etc (unless you start adding a lot of flowers/choir) so why not.
 
Caporegime
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if you don't believe in god you are hardly seeking his blessing.


?? That's my point.. Not sure if you misread my post.

hypercritical that people without faith do get married in church seeking gods blessing.

In otherwords, if you don't beleive in god, don't go seeking his blessing, which is what a christian service is. If you get married in a registry office, you are not allowed to make reference to any religous content for this very reason.
 
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Associate
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I do find it hypercritical that people without faith do get married in church seeking gods blessing.

People without faith who get married in a church are not seeking gods blessing though, are they? They are getting married in a church as the idea of a church wedding is appealing.
 
Man of Honour
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?? That's my point.. Not sure if you misread my post.

I didn't misread your post.

My point was if you don't believe in god you are there for other reasons, not because you are seeking gods blessing.

To say it is disrespectful assumes that an atheist would care about disrespecting christianity, how could you care about being disrespectful towards something that you have reasoned has no value?

I don't see it as hypocritical - I don't believe in god but my wife, despite being otherwise intelligent does have some vestige of belief and it was important to her to marry in a church. I think to have denied her that would have been churlish.
 
Man of Honour
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People without faith who get married in a church are not seeking gods blessing though, are they? They are getting married in a church as the idea of a church wedding is appealing.

But the whole reason of getting married in a church is to have a ceremony in front of god, since it is a religious building.

Should a church be preserved for its religious reasons, or is it little more than a glorified function hall? I think some Christians might find the latter quite insulting. Hence, I would choose not to get married in a church.
 
Caporegime
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Plenty of people who attend church regularly don't seem to be particularly religious (these days Anglicanism appears to be little more than agnosticism with tea), so I don't think a lack of belief will stop you booking one for your wedding! Most of them will be happy for the extra income, tbh.

I had a church wedding and loved it.

:)
 
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