Would you postpone a funeral for someone to take a holiday?

[Scania]

As the title, a friends brother died on the 5th, we’ve just found out that the funeral isn’t until the 26th due to his grandson having a holiday booked, he’s not left as of yet, this strikes me as cruel towards the rest of the family as it extends the period of waiting until the relative closure of the funeral itself...

Were it me, I’d cancel whatever plans and put the funeral first, but not this guy...

Am I wrong in feeling annoyed about it on behalf of my friend, the deceased guys sister?

 

[Werewolf]

I'm guessing it depends.

If the death was unexpected it could easily take 2 or 3 weeks for everyone who was going to attend the funeral to be free to attend, or there to be a space open for it, so realistically it might only have been delayed by a few days.
When my mother passed away it took something like 3 weeks for the funeral* and that involved being "lucky" in when the crematorium was free (if we'd been unable to make it that day it would have been longer).


*Most of the year or two running up to that is an utter blur in my memory so without checking the exact date I'm remembering it as 3ish weeks.

 

[Pawnless Endgame]

My parents recently went to a funeral which was 3 weeks after an unexpected death (suicide).

My Grandad died last year (expected, via hospital-acquired pneumonia) and even that was 14 days between death + funeral.

With the UK's ageing population, the funeral directors business is a sector that won't be going any time soon. Demand will just keep going up and 2-3 weeks is the norm imo.

Sorry to hear of the loss Scania.

 

[Roar87]

I would hope that if I were very old and had gran children they wouldn't cancel a good holiday to sit in a church for 20 minutes talking about me, but that's just my opinion.

 

[.Lethal]

He isn’t going anywhere, waiting until their back should be understandable if they don’t want to cancel last minute.

 

[EssexBoy]

That is disrespectful imo

 

[EssexBoy]

A dead person is a dead body which has to be disposed quickly with respect. Get real.

It not about the dead guy it's about the grieving family that need support.If my grandfather's brother died then i would cancel and be with family instead of being selfish on my holiday till i get back.

Also i have been to funerals with 100+ people showing their respect so 5-10 would look terrible

 

[Diddums]

That is disrespectful imo

^This. They've just lost a loved one but their closure must be put on hold because someone's going on holiday? Jesus wept, that kid needs a good kicking.

 

[secretspy]

I guess it depends on whether the family have told the grandson not to cancel his holiday. It might not be refundable and it may have been discussed about whether to go or not.

My dad's funeral was almost a month after he died. He passed away on 17th December and then obviously a week later it was Xmas but it was my bday shortly afterwards too so it was arranged for 13th Jan.

 

[FloppyPoppy]

No I don't see a problem with this.

 

[Nitefly]

I don’t think it’s ‘cruel’ to be accommodating if someone is going to be massively put out by missing their holiday (financially or otherwise). Depends on the very specific facts.

If I had a trip planned for a year and that was the thing keeping me going, then I had to ditch that.... man, that’s a bummer. Or, make the funeral a couple of days earlier / later.

 

[cheesyboy]

I think it's fine. I'd not have cancelled a holiday for my grandparents' funerals - there's no way any of them would have wanted me to either.

 

[RDM]

It can take 2-3 weeks to arrange a funeral anyway so the delay isn’t going to be that much. If the other relatives are fine with it then I wouldn’t worry. For my brother I did cremation without service and no one was concerned with that.

 

[ivrytwr3]

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAssh...a_for_going_to_a_preplanned_vacation_with_my/

You have your life ahead of you to go on holiday, your grandparents etc die once (unless........zombies!!)

It all depends how close you were i suppose, but i would have cancelled if it meant delaying the funeral - that is disrespectful to all including the deceased.

 

[wolfie138]

As the title, a friends brother died on the 5th, we’ve just found out that the funeral isn’t until the 26th due to his grandson having a holiday booked, he’s not left as of yet, this strikes me as cruel towards the rest of the family as it extends the period of waiting until the relative closure of the funeral itself...

Were it me, I’d cancel whatever plans and put the funeral first, but not this guy...

Am I wrong in feeling annoyed about it on behalf of my friend, the deceased guys sister?

you sound all noble, but have you checked whether or not the family gave the blessing for the holiday?

 

[200sols]

If they stand to lose thousands and have been looking forward to this holiday all year then it would be pretty hard to just cancel and I very much doubt insurance (if they have it) would allow them to cancel for a grandparents funeral.

 

[Semple]

Seems this is just one of those situations where to some it would seem dispicable whilst to others it would be absolutely fine.

 

[placeholder]

I think on the face of it its disrespectful but its hard to gauge because we don't know the make up of the family. If you were close to a grandparent and they died I don't think Id feel much like going on holiday anyway knowing that I was coming back to a funeral. Equally I don't think Id enjoy my holiday knowing I was the reason for the delay - that's just me projecting my circumstances onto this situation though.

In an ideal world Id want the funeral and associated formalities out of the way and then go on holiday. If its a big holiday and you don't have insurance etc then I guess its different but the above still applies.

I also think that if I was distant enough from a grandparent to still feel like going on holiday Id probably be distant enough to let the funeral take place without me.

 

[Maundie]

I was sat at the airport waiting to board the plane for Egypt when we got the call my brother in law had died, it wasn't until 5 weeks later the funeral took place due to various factors but it really does depend on space at the local graveyard/crematorium as to how quickly you could get in.

 

[Deleted member 651465]

Grandfather - cancel holiday
Grandafther’s brother - go on holiday

I’d expect immediate family to be different than extended family but at the same time I wouldn’t postpone the funeral for the grandson-in-law