Would you postpone a funeral for someone to take a holiday?

[Scania]

Depends on what the rest of the family have said to the grandson, they might have told him to go for all we know.

It took about 6 weeks for my aunts funeral to go ahead as the place she wanted to hold the ceremony was only a small village church but was fully booked, in that time I think 2 people went on holiday and no-one thought anything of it.

This has been arranged with the widow and her grandson (who’s the one with a holiday to take) I think what’s narked the deceased’s side of the family is they weren’t consulted and one of his brothers has cancelled his own pre booked holiday because of the death and expectations of a relatively quick funeral.

It’s difficult, probably no definitive right or wrong ultimately but it’s certainly prolonged the hurt for his sister, my friend, who wants the funeral done and dusted, she hates the thought of him sat (lay?) in a freezer instead of being laid to rest.

Thanks for the replies, whilst I haven’t shown her this thread, I’ve given her a few of the opposing views given in response and I think she sees the situation a bit more positively now.

 

[Hades]

When my mum's husband died the funeral was postponed a couple of times for different events, including allowing me to take my daughter to a concert that she had already booked. None of us batted an eyelid. None of us are religious and none of us were concerned about it. If anyone had objected then we could have obviously cancelled our events to fit in with the funeral dates.

However when my mother in law (wife's mum) died the race was on for an immediate funeral due to religious reasons on that side of the family. The hearse even left before the women had managed to make their way down from their room in the mosque, much to their genuine distress. The men's service had finished so the body was immediately loaded into the hearse and it drove off to the graveyard within a few seconds.

 

[Tefal]

What "closure" are you all getting from these funerals?

Been to quite a few now and honestly the "funeral" itself didn't change anything in terms of how I felt before and after it.


I'm of the opinion grandsons holiday trumps funeral

 

[LeeUK]

10-15 years ago you could get a crematorium funeral like as quick as 3-4 days after death. Now there is a wait of at least 2 weeks for a slot.

But I still wouldn't postpone it unless someone was already away and couldn't get back in time, and I certainly wouldn't ask for one to be postponed, I would change my plans to be there.

 

[Efour]

Been to 5 funerals, grandparents, dad, freinds..., Closure? Lol that's cute.
You must be one of those religious types?

Can't say I'd enjoy a holiday knowing my grandparent was recently dead but mine would have laughed their socks off, cancelling a paid holiday over the fuss.

Guess this is gonna be different strokes....

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Been to 5 funerals

I went to 15 last year and so far been to 10 this year.

None of them gave me closure.

 

[Efour]

I went to 15 last year and so far been to 10 this year.

None of them gave me closure.

now this is something weird to boast about

 

[SexyGreyFox]

now this is something weird to boast about

I'm not boasting, I'm amazed you've only been to 5 funerals however I come from a very large family where my Mum had 13 siblings and my Dad had 5 siblings.
I've also worked at the Michelin that had 1000s of staff and Creda/Hotpoint that also had 1000s of staff and over time (and still now) ex workmates keep dying.
Being a local musician I've also attended scores of funerals for dead musicians.

 

[Efour]

yep you come from a very normal background.

 

[adidan]

I hate funerals. Once i'm gone i want them to just dump me in recycling and go for a pint.

 

[Mr Badger]

Too many variables and personal perspectives to put something definitive on that fits everyone.
I'd attend (and indeed have attended) funeral's on my wife's side of the family, but my own I couldn't give a **** about.

Sorry to burst your bubble on this, but whatever your holiday plans you really will be expected to show up for your own funeral.

 

[Mr Badger]

I hate funerals. Once i'm gone i want them to just dump me in recycling and go for a pint.

This is an interesting one. My partner has consistently said that when she dies she doesn't want a funeral service. She isn't exactly close with her immediate family, but I can imagine things getting interesting with them if she was to die and I insisted that her wishes were followed.

 

[Yaayuh!]

This is an interesting one. My partner has consistently said that when she dies she doesn't want a funeral service. She isn't exactly close with her immediate family, but I can imagine things getting interesting with them if she was to die and I insisted that her wishes were followed.

Funerals are for the living, for the loved ones to grieve and get closure. It should be up to the living.
The dead are dead, they don’t really have a say in it. Unless of course it’s a legal say in a will or something

 

[Moothead2]

Funerals are for the living, for the loved ones to grieve and get closure. It should be up to the living.
The dead are dead, they don’t really have a say in it. Unless of course it’s a legal say in a will or something

At the same time it's their body even if they're dead, they should get to choose what's done with it. No different to money or other assets really, the dead don't need them but it's not a free for all.

 

[Yaayuh!]

At the same time it's their body even if they're dead, they should get to choose what's done with it. No different to money or other assets really, the dead don't need them but it's not a free for all.

It’s certainly the case yes, but I generally disagree with it.

 

[deusexlumina]

I think it depends on the family and their attitude. I know some families who would take this as a sign of disrespect, and others who would actively encourage the postponement so as to not ruin the holiday.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

yep you come from a very normal background.

The worst bit is my funeral attendance is less than 50% for friends, I had to miss two last week.

 

[Quartz]

This is something I have had to consider as I had elderly parents, now just one elderly parent. I generally take two sorts of breaks: short ones within the UK which I would cancel in a heartbeat if necessary, and longer ones to see eclipses. Solar eclipses are not moveable and cost a lot of money to see so I would not cancel those holidays.

 

[ttaskmaster]

NVM

 

[wildman]

go on holiday and attend funeral via facetime ?