My mum got taken into hospital on Tuesday. She's had a lot of health problems over the last few years and over the last week or so things had gone rapidly downhill. She wasn't eating or drinking. She was in a lot of pain and she was having trouble passing urine. She was also starting to retain fluid, so her body was swollen in places. She got rushed into hospital on Tuesday morning.
She was on a tight fitting mask to give her oxygen, because her oxygen levels and CO2 levels were both bad. On Wednesday morning we got a phone call at 5.30am saying we needed to go up asap cause things were going in the wrong direction. We went straight up, but by the time we got there her levels had actually improved a bit. We spent most of that day at the hospital. On Thursday and Friday I had to go to work, but my dad was there with her. On Thurday she actually perked up a lot and had a really good day. She even called me on the phone when I was on the way to work and she sounded really good. Sadly that did not last and by Friday she had gone downhill again, back to being very sleepy and confused at times. I was working a late shift on Friday and by the time I got home I had only just started thinking about going to bed when we again got a call saying we needed to go up. This was about 11.30pm. We ended up being at the hospital to nearly 7 on Saturday morning. We got seen by a doctor and he told us the treatment basically wasn't working, that it was just prolonging her suffering. He wanted to discontinue the treatment and focus on making her as comfortable as possible. He said she would probably pass within a day or two. We did go home for a while after that, mainly for a short sleep and to get showered/changed, then we were back up for most of Saturday. We went home last night and again went back up early this afternoon. By then they had put mum onto a morphine pump for the pain. We got to the hospital about 12.15. At first she just seemed to be sleeping peacefully, but I noticed as I was sitting with her her breathing started to get shallower and she started having pauses between breaths. At about 12.45, she just stopped breathing all together. I stared at her for over a minute, just waiting for that next breath to come. But it never did. My dad was sitting in a chair by the bed. I said something like "she's not breathing!", so my dad went and got the doctor. And yeah.... she was gone.
I've had a bit of a cry, but its not hit me yet really. I think with her being so unwell for so long, especially after the scare back in July, I'd been building myself up for the prospect this was going to happen. If I'm thankful for anything, its that me and my dad were with her at the end. And that after all the pain and misery she's had to endure, her final hours were peaceful ones.
Now comes all the stuff I've never had to do before. We've spoken to a funeral director that my mum was very friendly with. We need to get the death certificate tomorrow, then once its registered we can start to make the funeral arrangements. The guy thinks it should either be Friday, if possible, or the following Monday if not. Had to call my work to let them know I wont be at work tomorrow. Will need to see if I can speak to my manager, to find out what their policy is regarding compassionate leave. I cant picture myself being at work this week anyway.
Anyway, I'm gonna go lay down for a while. I dunno why I'm even posting this, guess I just needed to get it all out, help clear my head a bit.
the only positive is she's no longer suffering. 
