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Old 26th Mar 2010, 08:51   #1
britboy4321
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Talking Ways to make your boring office job fun #1. Blatent animal cruelty.

Bored at work? Got 2 like-minded friends that sit close (and a boss thats nice)? Don't mind a bit of blatent cruelty to make the day pass quicker? Ultra geek/nerd? Got about £20 each to burn?

NEW, SUPER, BRITBOY'S GAME THAT MAKES OFFICE LIFE ABOUT 10 TIMES BETTER THAN PREVIOUSLY..

REAL LIFE RTS!

Here's the operational parameters:

Buy 3 ants farms, ideally in 3 different colours.

Ensure you get the type with 'expandability' sections so you can put piping in and connect multiple farms together.

http://kidsscienceclub.com/wp-conten...e-ant-farm.gif no hotlinking!


Buy 3 different types of ants, each with a single 'queen'. You can buy them through the post off t'net, they are very cheap. They HAVE TO be different 'species' of ant. You want about 100 ants of each type, 1 queen each. You have to agree to three species with relatively similar 'stats' (so no 'African killer about 1 inch long' monsters!)

Buy 25 metres of tubing, all see through (can you see where this is going yet ),

Set up one ant farm on each desk, with the sand/gel, food, water etc. as specified in the instructions. Easy. If you're remotely inventive, label your with your 'base' name (I called mine 'Lord of the ants').

Connect see-through tubing to all three farms, but not just direct, actually putting tubing round the most interesting places possible (in front of keyboard as 'wrist-rest'. Round the outside of monitors, through the internals of your PC and out the other side if you're feeling adventerous etc.) There should be multiple ways to get from each ant nest, to the other ant nest - so you may want to buy a couple of 'pipe dividers' frmo any DIY shop.. The RTS 'map' is complete.

Add ants only to their own specific bases. They don't know each other exists at this point!

Watch with childlike amazement and excitement as the ultimate incredible real life RTS occurs.

Stage 1: At the start is base building stage. The ants will dig little tunnels in 'their nest' and create little caverns. Label these caverns things like 'War factory' and 'Barracks' for added pleasure (told you it was ultra-geeky). This stage takes about 3 weeks. Get over-excited each morning as you arrive to work and announce loudly to your mates 'Whoa, my boys have got themselves a level 3 barracks upgrade - they must have dug it last night' etc. Your mates may well answer 'I'm not worried mate, my biggest cavern, 'the monolith', has expanded by about 15%'

Stage 2 (about 2 weeks later) is exploration. Watch as they take their first tentitive steps round the tubes, as you're typing on occassion you'll see the brave members of your 'tribe' pass under your wrists, or round your monitor - exciting stuff, you feel just so proud seeing the little fellas leave the base on those early reccy missions (at this point if you recognise any of your ants it is time to name them things like 'Corporal tenticle' and 'Captain insect-head' to aid in telling your mates - er - human foes where they have 'reached'. ('OMG Corporal Tentical has just reached intersection 'Delta 5' and is heading for .. wait for it .. WAIT FOR IT ... BLUE'S BASE! Whoa!)

Stage 3 - WAR. Different types of ants when they meet DO NOT PLAY NICE, AT ALL! THEY FIGHT, TO THE DEATH! When they meet, basically, it quickly turns into a mad running hand to hand battle to the death. Experience the awesomeness the amazing long-term battle .. the hunting, the strategy (there are 3 bases, who attacks who? Does green take advantage of a poorly defended red base as most of red is attacking blue?) the running and hiding, the death, the destruction, different tactics used (including a huge 3 way battle that happened under my wrists (my anty wrist-rest) as I was typing some SQL script!! Madness.).

Stage 3.5 Get told off by boss for not doing enough work and the constant 'WHOA counter-attack started on green' type comments flying between nerds.

Stage 4 - END GAME. After about a month the 'green' army (Phil who works opposite) was in my base, busy having a huge PvP (AvA?) in my labelled 'barracks', when for the first time my 'Queen' ant entered the fray (perhaps the most exciting thing that has happened in my entire life to this point! ). WHOA She was a mental character - an UBER-ANT with all UBER-SUPER-PINCER gear! , killing scores of greens enemy ants, at which point they retreated, because 'Blue', seeing their opportunity, was attacking their base.

It was bizarre - when ants killed opposition ants, they were dragging them back to their queen to feed on! It was minging. Also 'dead ant's mates' were trying to save his corpse and take it back to their base for honourable buriel in a cavern I labelled 'the Mortuary' (they didn't eat their own).

It was, quite frankly, an awesome month odd.. highly recommended. And of course incredibly cruel. Red ended up winning. We've just put £4 in each to buy the 'next species' for 'Operation: Office WAR - Ant Attack 2 - When worlds collide'' (With different map configuration as well)! Silly? yes. Makes dull work about 10 times better? Yup..

And of course, I am the saddest guy I know!!


(All threads like this always get loads of insults, here's my predicted ones:

1) Britboy are you like, 5?
2) That is so cruel you're an idiot
3) Your workplace must be very boring, glad I don't work there
4) Sounds lame can't believe I just bothered reading that
5) OMG I thought I was a nerd but that is the saddest thing I have ever read ..
6) Pics or it didn't happen/I call BS/Blah blah

Lets see how we go ..
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 08:55   #2
robgmun
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7) All the ants go on strike for unfair treatment and tries to setup a socialist party. Nothing gets done and they all strave to death
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 08:56   #3
Tom0
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8) I'm a troll


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Old 26th Mar 2010, 08:57   #4
Cosimo
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Originally Posted by britboy4321 View Post
Britboy are you like, 5?
I’d say 7.

Don’t forget that they will come after you when they escape.

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Old 26th Mar 2010, 08:57   #5
Lamo
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Amazing great work...........

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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:04   #6
Morgoth
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This sounds like the most stupid...ly awesome idea!


Q6600 3.78GHz | GTX 670 | Corsair HX650 | 4GB PC8500 | LT X48-T2R
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:05   #7
Guru
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6.

/it's not that I don't believe you at all... just wanted to the the map.

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ONLY ONE 4 PORT NIC LEFT!(click)
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:06   #8
Marine Iguana
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I want to do this can we setup a mass trantsit system so we can have cross country wide battles with forum members

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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:16   #9
Rainmaker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marine Iguana View Post
I want to do this can we setup a mass trantsit system so we can have cross country wide battles with forum members
Ant LAN frag party. This is so dumb it's actually awesome. Post some pics.

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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:22   #10
Paramount
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I loled, this is awesome.
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:22   #11
Peño
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Seriously needs pics!
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:25   #12
deus3x
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haha, this is one of the best posts of read this year. Really exciting stuff lol
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:28   #13
oneale90
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This does sound like a good laugh! I just don't think i'd be able to wait that long lol!

This post is subject to a 'Fair Usage Policy'. You may only read it once !
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:29   #14
Marine Iguana
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Just need to train some ants to carry remotely detonated fireworks and I am done

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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:29   #15
deus3x
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check this out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtRNBHM3DR0&feature=fvw
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:29   #16
PardonTheWait
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I refuse to believe that if you had made this you wouldn't have taken pictures.

Post them immediately or be forever branded a liar


That's the way'a the world! The way it's always gonna be!
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:32   #17
Teknobry
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I am inspired. This needs to be done. Really want to see pics of your setup!
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:37   #18
GinG
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Sounds pretty amazing, great idea. Shame I can't do it here
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:37   #19
SamG
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This reminds me of the Outer limits - Sandkings. They will rise up and turn against you!
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:39   #20
Marine Iguana
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Do they do a kevlar armour upgrade for ants

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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:39   #21
mac1st3
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this is an amazing idea! I'd be tempted to do it all myself just for giggles
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:39   #22
anticonscience
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Great, animal cruelty!

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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:40   #23
Paramount
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Just plotting out how my base is going to look.

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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:53   #24
PaulyD
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This is actually awesome

I have an ant farm I got given as a random present as well that I haven't used, we have a boring office too but know for sure bosses won't allow it

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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:56   #25
MiNxYyY
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Dont be cruel you nerd.
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:59   #26
Ziggy
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Dont be cruel you nerd.
And from the bloke who considers himself some paragon of virtue as well.
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 09:59   #27
4T5
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I like Ants.

It wouldn't be as bad if you had Four linked as then they would All have neighbours & it would be fair, At the mo the colony in the middle is handicapped.

DOES THIS RAG SMELL LIKE CHLOROFORM TO YOU ?
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 10:03   #28
Paramount
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Link in a triangle?
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 10:05   #29
4T5
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Link in a triangle?
O Yer. + ******* Egyptians. +

DOES THIS RAG SMELL LIKE CHLOROFORM TO YOU ?
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Old 26th Mar 2010, 10:12   #30
Beasty
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I used to do this as a kid in more basic ways, had a couple of ant farms, got some ants from my mates house and some from mine and watched them have a massive ruck!
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