Stupid things you've done at work

LMAO @ Scuzi!

Related: I once went over my girlf's parents house to configure their router, and whilst sitting on the floor a small but violent sound came out without any sort of warning.

I just looked at the father-in-law and smiled, to which he laughed.. :D
 
$loth said:
Colleague who was sitting next to me is guess what... nigerian.
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He didn't happen to have an Uncle who'd died in some terrible accident, but only before hiding away £12,000,000 in a bank account that can only be accessed by some stranger of t'internet, did he?
 
Scuzi said:
In my previous job as a techie, I had to go to an insurance company to fix a few damaged RJ45 terminals in their board room. It was urgent so I was in there whilst there were a load of big shots in the middle of a meeting.

I had been out on the drink the night before and was feeling very dodgy so was just keeping my head down and getting on with it.

I stood up to go over to my toolkit, grabbed a screwdriver and went back into the corner and bent down to get on my hands and knees so I could get at the terminals. As I bent doiwn an almighty BOOM came out of my ass. It was absolutely ear shattering. I had been holding it in for the best part of half an hour and it all came out at once. A few people went quiet and looked around. I was scundered but tried my best to pretend that nothing had happened.

No luck though, it was rancid. I almost considered leaving the room as I couldn't stick it.

That was pretty stupid.
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Giggling like a silly little girl here. :D
 
Bug One said:
So a 'duty manager' took you aside for a grilling for talking to someone you were working with. Thats the kind of stuff that would have happened when I was 16 working at McDonalds and some 40 year old looser who's lifetime career is working in a fast food gets on a bit of power trip.

Now, I'd tell them exactly where he could shove it.
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HAHA ye pretty much, I was only 17 at the time. Was so funny at the time though.
 
Got loads from my few years at Sainsburys:

Went to Homebase in my uniform when it was owned by Sainsburys to buy some wood to make a speaker shelf in my car, got fed up of waiting for the guy top cut it so I went and found a saw and cut it myself, was stopped after I had just finished and told I counldt do that, to which I replid well I just have. The next day the HR manager tried to tell me off but couldnt stop laughing at what i had done.

Had a big egg fight in the chiler with 3-4 other people, and then told the manager I knew nothing about it.

Me and a mate used to send people to isle 30 in a 20 isle shop when they asked where a product was.

My best prank was to wrap my collegues desk in Xmas paper whilst he was on holiday, I wrapped everything, screen, PC, mouse, keyboard, cup, chair, desk, phone, everything, the guy was a jehovah witness so it was pretty funny, this was a return prank after he has removed every item off my desk when I was on leave.

We had a guy in the office who never ever cleaned his cup, it was disgusting, so once I cut out a circle of grass and put it in the cup, another time we placed hazard warning tape all around his cup and desk.
 
Scuzi said:
In my previous job as a techie, I had to go to an insurance company to fix a few damaged RJ45 terminals in their board room. It was urgent so I was in there whilst there were a load of big shots in the middle of a meeting.

I had been out on the drink the night before and was feeling very dodgy so was just keeping my head down and getting on with it.

I stood up to go over to my toolkit, grabbed a screwdriver and went back into the corner and bent down to get on my hands and knees so I could get at the terminals. As I bent doiwn an almighty BOOM came out of my ass. It was absolutely ear shattering. I had been holding it in for the best part of half an hour and it all came out at once. A few people went quiet and looked around. I was scundered but tried my best to pretend that nothing had happened.

No luck though, it was rancid. I almost considered leaving the room as I couldn't stick it.

That was pretty stupid.
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Sweet Jesus, that has me laughing so hard.
 
What is it with my ass and making people laugh? I might see if it wants to get into stand up comedy.:o
 
Not done anything to bad at my current job but when working on the Meat and Fish counters at sainsburys, around christmas time was no-one about and my 'boss' and I played rounders in the back room using a meat whacking mallet and a ball made of tissue with stickers. He managed to swing the bat let go and have it go clashing into the metal sinks, cue both of us running out the front laughing hysterically with about 5 customers standing there.

Also tried to hit my boss with a whole salmon and ended up dropping it, relating to that, the usual improv ninja fights with rainbow trout, which is truly a test of skill (as very slimy).
 
Richeh said:
Not done anything to bad at my current job but when working on the Meat and Fish counters at sainsburys, around christmas time was no-one about and my 'boss' and I played rounders in the back room using a meat whacking mallet and a ball made of tissue with stickers. He managed to swing the bat let go and have it go clashing into the metal sinks, cue both of us running out the front laughing hysterically with about 5 customers standing there.

Also tried to hit my boss with a whole salmon and ended up dropping it, relating to that, the usual improv ninja fights with rainbow trout, which is truly a test of skill (as very slimy).
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After you dropped that fish, i hope you binned it
 
bigmouse64 said:
Always banging my head on things, hangers and moterised doors!
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Ive done that, I was walking back into the loading area where a skip is and has always been for about 15 years. This was just after a false fire alarm so there was a whole crowd of us.

I turned my head while walking to shout something at someone behind me and then turned back around just in time to walk my forehead into a steel door on the skip, half an inch thick.
I was fine of course, I just warned everyone around me the skip might need repairing now :p
 
hmm...

Got bored whilst on the toilet at work so decided to take a picture of just above my knee's down of my boxers and trousers around my ankles then put it as the background of one of the notebooks we use around the department.

Put an Eraser ( kinda like this one: http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/71838/2/istockphoto_71838_eraser_rubber.jpg ) on the end of a typical 30cm ruler and proceeded to fire it in my boss's direction. Slapped him so hard on the cheek that his face rippled as it hit him. ( Retaliation for him throwing things at me earlier ).

Cut the head, just at the mouth, off a clients lifesize cardboard 'person type' poster ( it was a spare that my boss didn't want around the office ) - ( I would tell you what it was but it'd give away the clients identity ) and then re-attached it with another bit of cardboard glued to the top half, allowing us to do Canadian South Park impersonations with it. Myself and a load of work mates kept holding it around corners and going "eeeeeeyyyyy buddy! What's all this aboot".

Had important visitors from another client on site and my entire department was going through a madagascar phase. My boss said "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave". So we did.

Took the mouse ball out of my work mates mouse. Retaliation for him sellotaping the insides of my headset so all I heard from customers was "muffph mufffphmuff".

The cabinet where we keep all our notebooks has a lock on it. One of my bosses went home with the keys accidently so one of our guys lock picked it.

Had chair races up and down the floor on the midnight shifts ( on one now ).

Erm, there's so many =(

Good thing about having a boss who's "one of the guys".
 
called around 100 customers losers on a sunday morning!

im more proud of this than a stupid thing i have done
 
Richeh said:
If by binned you mean rinsed under the sink and put it back on display, then yes ;)
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Well to be honest i would love to report your ass, would you like that done on you?

For example you go into a chippy get something and before he gives it to you drops it on the floor and picks it up and hands it over
 
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