Daughter Crying at Nursery (parenting advice)

amaru

amaru

amaru

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My daughter has been in nursery for approx 4 weeks now (she is 3) and tbh honest she absoluty loved it, i mean she was always talking about, could not wait to go etc etc. But then last Friday she cried for the first time and said she didn't want to go, but the mrs forced her to (rather than give in). When she took her yesterday she did exactly the same but seemed more distressed than friday. My mrs was worried and decided to speak to the teachers about her over the last week or so and they advised she had been fine with no issues from other kids etc etc. Today my mrs took and told me that she screamed the roof down and had to be phiscially held by the teacher so my mrs could leave (mrs was absoulty devistated with doing this as you can imagine, crying down the phone to me). I cannot understand how she can go from really wanting to go and enjoying nursery to this in such a short time. However last tuesday she did have her MMR preschool booster and after talking to a few people they said that this can cause personality change etc etc, has anybody come across this.

Im not after medical advice, just after general advice if other members have had the same or similr issues with their children.

Many thanks
 
Ask her why she is like that and if there is anything that she is scared of or if anyone has hurt her, just question her
 
Would your wife be able to spend an hour there in the morning with her to settle her in for a bit ?

Failing that what about a few half days (afternoons) so that she has a chance to calm down.

My 2 year old daughter is just starting to show signs of trying to make the whole world do what she wants and it is a challenge. The hardest bit is knowing when to be firm when it is a tantrum and recognising when something is wrong and needs to be taken seriously.

Let us know how you get on.

The MMR booster can make kids feel under the weather for a few days. The whole autism thing has been very thoroughly discredited with the doctor who first proposed the link actually being struck off by the BMR. SO I wouldn't worry about that too much.

Also to people that are posting silly responses to a serious question - grow up !
 
Maby she has realised that this isn't a treat, and she wont be getting to spend that time with mum anymore.

Keep her going to get into the routine but obv keep an eye on things like you are, keep asking at the nursery etc.


Thats just imo as i don't have kids, but my niece went through a very similar thing
 
It could be nothing. One of my gf's neices was exactly the same. For weeks there was no problem at all, she would actually run into the Nursery on arrival. Then one week she wouldnt stop crying and was extremely clingy. This was investigated both at the Nursery and by asking her directly. Turned out to be because she had to go everyday but she didnt want to. Previsouly she could play freely, where as at Nursery they start to implement rules. She's now 7 and loving school. There are the odd few days she throws a tantrum but generally she's fine.
 
I think that maybe she is just under the weather from MMR jab. Also the smallest thing can upset children that us adults don't really pick up on, watch her play at home perhaps it will come out then (when chatting away to herself) or when she is having a bed time story and is all cuddly she might be able to talk about her day. Having worked with this age group for years I find most problems come to light aventually.
 
If it's possible, have you tried taking her to Nursery? Whilst it may be out of the ordinary for her and confuse/upset her a bit, it may be a welcome change for her.

As has been said though, a lot of it can be the fact that nurseries have rules etc. that the children have to follow, and they don't like that.

My mother is a child minder, and the children love going to see her and be with her all day as she has very relaxed rules and no set curriculum. The problem with nurseries is that they are forced by OFSTED to teach the children, not just let them be children. My mother is governed by OFSTED, but she can be more lax about the teaching them etc.

It's a shame really, as children aren't allowed to be children any more, they are forced into being educated at a young age (not by parents, buy the government forcing the nurseries).

InvG
 
We had a similar thing with out little girl. The first term she absolutely loved nursery.

After the school holiday this summer she went back and she had a new teacher and she was in a different room this threw her somehat and she was upset and wanted to come home although she did stay for the full afternoon.

Anyway next day she didn't want to go and when we got there she was upset and didn't want me to leave. I went to pick her up and she saw me and ran to me, the new teacher didn't realise I was her dad and shouted her back and she got upset, this was just a genuine misunderstanding.

The next day she didn't want to go again and it was a real hard time getting her to walk to nursery, anyway we got there and I took her in, she didn't want me to leave but I promised her I would be waiting for her as usual at home time. I left, she was upset but for us it was the right thing to do.

When I picked her up she was quite cheerful so all in all it wasn't that bad. Thursday came and she again wasn't to keen but she walked with me, we got to nursery and she went in but wanted me to hang around, I didn't, she wasn't overly happy but went off to play anyway

Friday morning and you would think that the previous 4 days have never happened, she dressed herself and couldn't wait to go. We have had no problems at all since, she again loves it and can't wait to go each day.

My advice would be to see it through, its tough but if you give in it is only going to go on for longer. I wouldn't advise staying with her either as she will only get upset when you decided it is time for you to leave her.

It is one of the hardest things in the world to see your child upset but I think you know that leaving her is the right thing to do, she won't come to any harm, she on't be troubled by it and give it a few days it will be like nothing ever happened!!!
 
We've just come out the other side of this and it was not nice.

Thankfully we managed to rotate who took out two and a half year old and that seemed to help but even so he still cried initially when my wife started to take him again.

Persevere with it for a couple of weeks and see how things go. The hardest things especially for mums is not to react to it. Take them, hand them over, quick kiss goodbye and walk away without looking back.

Neither nice nor easy but will hopefully get better in time.
 
The post above by Slingwagh has reminded me of something I learned whilst living at home.

And that is that children will often cry when they get there, and run to their parents (at the end of the day), but during the day/afternoon that they are there, they love it and play happily and brilliantly.

The fact that the parents only see the child being upset before and after the session can make you think there is something wrong with the place, child etc. when in fact the child is just being a child and would rather be with parents, but is also in fact happy to be in nursery. :)

InvG
 
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She's trying to get attention from the sounds of it, my mrs tells me about this sort of thing every single day.
 
What is a MMR preschool booster?

Maybe after dropping her off wait 10 minutes and look at her while she can't see you (or the Mrs.) and see how she reacts when her parents are not around?
 
InvaderGIR said:
The post above by Slingwagh has reminded me of something I learned whilst living at home.

And that is that children will often cry when they get there, and run to their parents (at the end of the day), but during the day/afternoon that they are there, they love it and play happily and brilliantly.

The fact that the parents only see the child being upset before and after the session can make you think there is something wrong with the place, child etc. when in fact the child is just being a child and would rather be with parents, but is also in fact happy to be in nursery. :)

InvG
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Hit, nail and head !!!!
 
My niece started to cry at nursery when she was dropped off and ready for being picked up, she is slowly crying less and enjoying it more, she is only 2 and it seems strange your kid liked it then suddenly hates it, she most of had a bad experience there but I know at my niece nursery they are very good with the children and are always comforting them.
 
After school talk about the positive things she done. Don't talk about anything negative. Praise her but don't reward her with sweets or treats. Maybe create a ladder system at home. Give her points for every day she doesn't cry with a reward at the top. this will give her something to focus on.

Then the next day, just before she goes in remind her what she done the day before. Remind her of the chart (above). This will give her a reminder that school is fun because she won't remember otherwise. Do this outside the classroom.

What ever you do DON'T get stressed about the situation in front of her. She'll pick up on this and use it to her advantage. Kids aren't stupid and they try all the tricks. The second thing is to NOT make a fuss of her when dropping her off. Tell her everything she needs to know BEFORE going into the school. Say your goodbyes very quickly then leave and don't look back. Sounds harsh but she needs routine.

It sounds she has no routine but that will come. You just have to give her all the encouragement she needs.

Good luck.
 
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Cheers guys some good advice here ;)

Just got off a phone call with the mrs after she picked my daughter up and she came out all happy. She had another chat with the teacher and they said she was crying for about 15 min and then as soon as they started there normal games, singing etc she started to calm down a bit. My mrs tried to talk to her and all she said is she "wanted my mum".

Well i guess we are gonna have to see how it goes, but i think we definetly need to be strong with her.

But we will soon find out tomorrrow. :(
 
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