Marriage & Arguing

.Kencs

.Kencs

.Kencs

Soldato
Joined
14 Oct 2007
Posts
2,738
If I'm in the wrong, I'll be a man and admit I'm in the wrong, But she can never do that...
For Example...I rang my wife 30mins ago and I asked her a simple question and she flipped her lid and went off on one so I put the phone down on her so I don't have to listen to hear moan at me lol.
Then I text her and say if I was in the wrong, I'm sorry but you shouldn't have flipped out for no reason. She then goes off on one again, and after 20mins of arguing, she says sorry for having a go, yet that wasn't what I wanted, all I wanted was for her to realise that she would NEVER of said sorry if i didnt mention anything...

Was I in the wrong for mentioning to her that she had no right to have a go at me just cuz she is stressed???:confused:
 
DON'T GO THERE!!!!

Same here:

Got a rollocking the other night for not wiping down the cutting board after I'd chopped garlic, got told it stunk and to do it while dinner was preparing.

This morning, she has toast, leaves bread crumbs on the cutting board so politely, calmly asked why she wasn't practising what she preached and was told "Because I haven't done it yet!"

Meh!
 
Well I'm only 22 and for the 4 yrs we were together she was OK-ish lol....hardly any fights lol....Then when our 2nd child came along, and we got married, things started to change :(
 
LOL....I get that all the time, she moans at me for doing something wrong, yet she can get away with it lol...
Her latest one is when I'm making the baby bottles up, she goes mad when i mix the teets up with the wrong bottle, something about it leaks if they aint the right 1s....obviously, but wen u got the same shape bottles, yet different teets, how the hell am i meant to know??? lol

She always moans i never put my dinner in the bin from my plate when iv finished, i just leave it on the side, then i ask her to clean her plate away and all i get is 'god give me ****** chance...... lol
 
Sounds like she needs you more than you think and getting stressed due to having to much to do maybe?, try to do something nice for her each day so she can have a relax for half hour, if you dont already that is.
 
I've tried Tom0 but she goes back to her old ways again lol...It may be that she is at home with a 3yr old and a 11 week old all day, but still there is no need to take it out on me lol and NickG.....She NEVER appoligises after flipping out UNLESS I make a big deal about it, then she will say sorry to shut me up lol
 
.Kencs said:
I've tried Tom0 but she goes back to her old ways again lol...It may be that she is at home with a 3yr old and a 11 week old all day, but still there is no need to take it out on me lol and NickG.....She NEVER appoligises after flipping out UNLESS I make a big deal about it, then she will say sorry to shut me up lol
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:( well the no apology thing i cant comment on, some people just hate being wrong. But you said that once the kids came she kind of "got worse" maybe the pressure of looking after them is getting on her shoulders and as much as you're right, she shouldnt be taking it out on you, she cant help venting.
 
thats a bad situation because she clearly cannot see that her actions are the wrong actions to take in any situation.

If you reversed it and started flipping out on her, i guarantee it would end in tears.

be compassionate, but just maybe talk to her and say that you think its a little unfair that she can just keep going off on one, but be nice and ask whether you can help out with anything, or if she is getting stressed by situation.

If that doesnt work, i feel sorry for you because you have x years of pain to come!
 
.Kencs said:
I've tried Tom0 but she goes back to her old ways again lol...It may be that she is at home with a 3yr old and a 11 week old all day, but still there is no need to take it out on me lol and NickG.....She NEVER appoligises after flipping out UNLESS I make a big deal about it, then she will say sorry to shut me up lol
Click to expand...

Do you say "lol" after every sentence whilst talking to her? Because THAT would be REALLY annoying...
 
Sounds like you have some serious talking to do but face to face not be telephone or test etc. You also have a young baby and that can put serious stress on any relationship and I know this because I have an 8 month year old. We are both very tired and ratty but we make sure we make some "our" time. In this time we talk about anything, including how we feel and what we could do better etc.

You have to remember that just because you are married you are both still individuals with different moods and priorities and your wife's priority is your baby. You have to accept that.

Try avoid speaking to her during the day. I only talk to my wife very briefly (if at all) during the day. I never text. I just ask if everything is ok and speak to you later. It gives you both something to talk about at the end of the day but if either if you have issues, then you must get them out in the open before one of you does something they might regret. Sometimes, these things can just be resolved by a lack of understanding on either side.

Buy her some flowers sometime (not today) and tell her they are for her "just because" and no other reason.

:)
 
time of the month?

Sorry ladies but some women flip at that time.

Red flag+full moon = raging bull.

Or so my native american friend said... :p

Anyway as a man you have to learn when to fight and when to sit back.

Also texting and mails are not the way to communicate with your loved one.

EDIT : Pah huddy says it all much more eloquently but I'm busy at work so didn't have the time
 
Heh, no point in arguing. You cannot argue with someone who thinks they are right. Plus, it annoyes my other half much better if i dont argue :D
 
In 8 years, I have sent my wife exactly 1 text and that was to ask her to ring me..!!

We don't have a perfect relationship but I can hand on heart state that we have NEVER had an argument. Both of us don't see the point in it at all.

Just because you disagree on something does'nt mean you have to argue. I would say don't ever text the wife always ring, and if she gets wound up just stay calm and don't bite back while still standing your ground.
 
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