Marriage & Arguing

Lmao women for yah, just let them think there right, dont feel like you need to be right... easier life, trust me, i had a gf not long back and i just let her think she was the best in control, always right, when in fact she wasnt... made me feel better when she just shut up and started asking me why i dont argue...

cant be bothered with it, good luck with marrige...
 
Woman are from Venus and Men are from Mars. Read it, despite it's awful wording, and examples, there is some interesting and useful facts within it.

I was in a 5 year relationship, lived with her for 4, it went sour last year, we have sort of tried again recently, but it wasn't going to work, so i told her i didn't want any more contact. I still think about her numerous times a day and miss her, but i don't think it is meant to be. Sure we argued, and i put in an enormous amount of effort, and tried to talk about things.

It sounds like you're in a rut mate, don't let it continue. Read the above mentioned book, and talk to her, and listen. Each day when you get home ask her how her day was. Don't take the male high ground and tell her solutions to her problems, just listen and be comforting. Acknowledge her when she is talking and don't have the TV / Radio on. The flowers occasionally will work, but full court ones are carp! Get her some sent to the house from a florist, she will know you have gone to some trouble and thought then.

Good luck fella, don't give up, it isn't always greener on the other side.
 
Hi All....Just been going through some of your comments, and last nite went pretty well :)
Don't think we will be arguing much now now we've sorted some of our issues out lol
 
I find there is only one surefire way of ending arguments before they begin with the other half..





Punchwoman.gif


lol

Im joking of course!!! NO no, a swift kick to the temple normally does the trick.. :p
 
JodieG said:
Believe me I'm not, knowing our relationship as I do and what we've been through I'm confident in saying that. When I married it was for life, I didn't take those vows lightly.
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All the confidence in the world doesn't change the fact that you can't predict the future.
 
knip said:
Its been really nice to read all these accounts of couples who have been together for years and years in harmony, gives me hope some poor fool might put up with me one day :D
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I'm of the same mind. Still makes me think anyone who is certain they're going to be married for ever is thinking wishfully.
 
I had a fight with the Girlfriend on the phone the other day because i quite my job.

I quite it because i was making next to nothing and it cost me 20-40% of the money i made each day just on petrol.
Then since it was quite far away it means i would hit my service(its just 500kms away) Which would have cost me even more.

She said "Why do you even need to service your car for! It doesnt need to be done!"


I was like :eek: :mad: considering most the kms ive put on the car is viseting her and then argued a bit more until she/we hung up.

I yelled and swore then kicked a hole in my door on the way out.
I was so raging mad i woke my brother when i was yelling at her because she had provoked me so much :o


Later on in the day she became nice to me again and now all is good :)
 
platypus said:
All the confidence in the world doesn't change the fact that you can't predict the future.
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No but if I didn't believe in marriage or that I'd be with Cliff forever I wouldn't have got married. Whatever happens in the future happens but, right now, I can say I feel I'll be with him forever. That's as much as anyone can say.
 
MookJong said:
Can I ask how old your wife is?

In todays society that is young to to tied down, I'm not saying it's wrong but I'm 28 and would have missed out on so much if I had settled down at that age. Hell I'm nowhere near settled down yet.

I guess she is probably a similar age and maybe feels a bit trapped especially if she sees her friends free single and living it up. Does she get out and about on her own much?
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.Kencs said:
I've been thru WAY TOO MUCH with past relationships and just wanted to settle down...I had my first kid at 18, married at 22, and my 2nd child was born augest....I put in a previous post i was married in Augest, i meant April....god us men can NOT remember dates too well lol...

We are both 22 MookJong
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I have been reading this thread with interest. I got married at 22 and my wife was 19. 5 1/2 years later we are still happily married.

It is interesting how different people see marriage though. People have said to me loads of times that they feel like they would be missing out but I have never felt like I have missed out on anything, which a lot of people find difficult to understand.

In fact my life has been way better than I could have imagined it would be being single. Usually, I find people who talk about the “missing out spiel” refer to not being able to go out drinking, clubbing, pulling/sleeping around left right and centre. That lifestyle has never really been my cup of tea so I guess that helped.

It’s not always easy and you have to make the commitment to be faithful to one person. That always seems to be the stumbling point for a lot of people.

Here is what I have learned from mine and seeing others marriages. Actually doing this is not as easy as writing it.

  • 1)When you get married, it is a big commitment and should be for life. You should want to and appreciate this, otherwise don’t do it.
  • 2)You have to make adjustments in you life for the other person but most importantly you have to Want to do this.
  • 3)You will probably argue and disagree on stuff.
  • 4)You will get niggled with each other.
  • 5)Quite often your partner will be the only person you can vent on and will take the brunt of any stress, anger, upset even if it isn’t your fault. You need to be prepared for this as it happens both ways.
  • 6)Sometimes a disagreement shouldn’t even happen. It’s amazing what can escalate over miscommunication.
  • 7)If you or your partner ever start to feel trapped, try to work out why. It can be easily sortable (usually). Either find a hobby, join a gym, get more active etc etc….too many options or reasons to try and list. This doesn’t always work.
  • 8)You will most likely meet other people who you find attractive when you are married, it’s going to happen. Firstly try not to look. Secondly, you have no choice in how you deal with this. Quite simply you have to get over it, avoid the situation, avoid the person in question and keep yourself distanced. If it someone you have to work with or see then you just have to deal with your feelings.
  • 9)In respect to the above, if you purposely start building a friendship or foster a relationship with someone you find attractive this can lead onto other things that could see the end of your marriage. If you are this kind of person then learn some self control.
  • 10)Some people shouldn’t get married when they do, it doesn’t matter what age they are, not everyone is ready or even suited to it.
  • 11)You have to be patient, Love, forgive and be humble.
  • 12)Age has nothing to do with getting married, whether you are old or young. The younger you are, you do need to appreciate you will change and mature as you grow older. You need to make sure you and your partner do this together not separately. Knowing that at the beginning makes it a lot easier as you develop.
  • 13)Make sure you do truly love the person you are marrying.
  • 14)In essence your partner is an extension of you and vice versa.
  • 15)Sometimes a marriage can’t be saved, sometimes people grow apart, sometimes situations do change, sometimes people don’t see marriage as a lifetime commitment, sometimes people don’t care.
  • 16)If you aren’t sure then don’t get married. Pulling out of the wedding before is a lot less painful than a divorce.
  • 17)It isn’t always easy, but it is worth it. :D
 
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