Confused about life at the moment - help needed

Smiley Man said:
i was thinking about UEA, close enough to come home fairly often but far away enough to feel like a new place:)

just wondering if its possible thats all
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First year transfers are very possible, but you'll need to act soon as they won't really want to take you on for much longer, certainly not after you christmas exams.

If you can't get a transfer this year, defer it until next year. Come home, get your head straight, earn a bit of cash, and get yourself ready to enjoy University next year :).
 
im feeling the same at the moment and am only an hour away from home :/ . its mates i miss most though and theyre dotted all round the country now

as said i think everyone feels it at somepoint , co incedentally at about the same time everyone runs out of money and realizes they have a shedload of work to do
 
Unfortunately those who go straight to uni from school will often feel like this. I didn't go to uni until i was 22 - and im still here and in my final year and i wouldn't give it up for the world. Not going to uni straight away and getting some independence meant i only shed a few tears when i said goodbye to the rentals on the first day of my first term and i've never looked back since. I love the life, the friends, the drinking, the pressure (and it is tough unless you do 'media' or something **** like that!) - hell last night we had a 12 man/woman poker game until 6am - my mate slept in the bath and the girls we were with tied my other mate to a chair and covered him in jam (had his boxers on) all because he lost!

So, uni can be fun - you just gotta find the right people! and the right girls...... oh yes indeed,...... the girls........
 
I felt the same after the first week. Was just homesick and had no mates really on my course (or ones not like mates at home) Stick it out for another 2 weeks and once your having a great time and meet a few people you will slowly think differently!
 
platypus said:
First year transfers are very possible, but you'll need to act soon as they won't really want to take you on for much longer, certainly not after you christmas exams.

If you can't get a transfer this year, defer it until next year. Come home, get your head straight, earn a bit of cash, and get yourself ready to enjoy University next year :).
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i will look into it, i mean i love it in aber, but its just a bit too far away:(

who do i need to speak to at my uni about this sort of thing?

women eh? :rolleyes: why do you have to love em so much and wanna be with em all the time? :p
 
Personally I think you should stick it out - at least for a few more months. I think most people go through what you're going through to some degree or other. As already said, getting out of the comfort zone is what makes you grow as a person!

And it's not like that you're that far from home. My wife (who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks) went to study at a Uni for a year that was 4,000 miles away from home in a different country! She hated it at first - she was homesick, was having trouble making friends and hated the course she was doing. But she knew that she had done it because she needed to do it. She stuck at it for a while and, sure enough, things turned around. She ended up meeting me (poor cow :p ), got her degree and never looked back. Then I had to go through the same thing when we moved 4,000 miles back the other way. Cambridge to Aberystwyth? Pffft - they're just down the road from each other :)

I'm not saying that it "will all work out" - maybe it isn't for you. But a few weeks is too soon and I think you'll regret it when you look back if you don't give this a proper shot.

Anyway, I hope it all works out for you one way or another. Good luck!
 
i still dont know what to do or think :( im not happy here i know that, but it seems as if all the other options have big downsides

i miss everything about home, my GF, my parents, my house etc and i really dont think im ready for starting a new life yet:( all i want now is for it to be the 15th december so i can go home for a month

argh im so confused:(
 
hey smiley man ive only read your comments and therefore not everyones but i thought id offer you my experience as advice.

i live in edinburgh and moved away to stirling last year (about an hours travel away). within a week i realised i had made a mistake and that i wanted to be back in edinburgh. i had long-term friends living in the same flat as me and was having a great time but i still realised that i didnt want to live there. i stuck it out til xmas really to show people that i had tried but NOTHING changed. i knew from that moment in week one that i would be coming home. i did come back home after xmas and now commute several days a week from edin to stirling. i too missed my gf, family, friends and way of live back home. i now feel so much more relaxed and am SOOOO glad i moved. i think you should stick it out until xmas but i doubt very much that you will change your mind. i would recommend staying on at uni one way or the other though but if that means transferring then start looking in to that. a good source of advice is contacting your student union welfare department. they can help you with how your feeling and what you can do to take a step towards transferring. i think you will probably have to reapply for next year at a new uni though, i dont think transfers are easy as i looked into them and several places said no
 
I'm in my third year at Aberystwyth

The first year in a remote place like Aber can be pretty tough especially if you like home a lot (which I didn't). Knew 2 people who dropped out in December of their first year, just keep going to Xmas and see how you feel :)
 
You need to break out of that routine at some point in your life, else you'll never leave home. It's time to build your own life!
 
Living your life at uni is one of the best things in my opinion.

It does break your ties with home, family and friends away from what it was. It doesn't stop you having friends from home and uni however it does change how you interact with them.

Also it will be possibly the only chance you'll have to life that lifestyle.

Yes you have to work hard at uni and possibly even a separate job. Possibly things you don't want todo in the interim time.

Just give it a chance.

You'll only get back what you put into life..
 
I'll start by being negative.....

Your relationship with your girlfriend might not last... (I know nothing about either of you obviously) but going on my experience when I went to Uni, everyone who came with a relationship from home broke up within the first couple of months. The only one that lasted any length was a couple who kept it going the whole of the first year.

Your parents.... Well its not the end, you will probably move back with them when you finish uni, and there are always holidays.
 
Whatever you decide Smiley Man, please do talk/think it through a lot just to be sure it really is what you want. My first attempt at Uni was pretty much a disaster as I dropped out without properly thinking it through and without discussing it with anyone. It's a choice I still deeply regret.
 
What your feeling is normal for someone who has just left a routine that he has been doing for 18 years. You have left your comfort zone, the places and people you have known for so long and now have to rely on yourself for things.

Firstly, dont start doubting yourself and your choices.

What I have always found that helps me is to create my own routines. It helps give you more control so that things dont feel so hectic.

Also, dont let how your feeling being the deciding factor when making an important decision. Like choosing to go to a different school simply because its closer to home. As soon as you get back into your old routine and your way of thinking is clearer again your going to think through your decision and probably regret it.

Finally, realize that you are going to have to move out of the house and away from home at some point and start your own life.
 
While family, relationships and friends are all supremely important, this unique opportunity to experience almost unconstrained freedom will only ever come about again once you are retired (or go on the dole i suppose...)

Sure go to uni to do as well as you can on the degree to get a good job at the end of it. But also use the opportunity to start to discover who you are, what makes you tick, how you like to organise and lead your life. At the moment, nobody is reliant on you other than you and its a brilliant opportunity. Its also a finite period of time and its something i believe people who can easily take the route of going back to the home they grew up in, often waste. Attending a uni course becomes a chore for them or at best something they must attend rather than want to. As a life experience, it can be so much more.

Join society's, find like minded friends, plan crazy off the hoof travelling trips where you get round europe for £35.96 and two cans of coke :) If you live close to home you'll feel obliged to continue to fit your life around the people you have come to rely on.

In short, stay where you are (unless the course is failing you in some way), see the positive side to the situation you have found yourself in, socialise, either in the bar or elsewhere, but for gawds sake dont waste 4 undergraduate years wondering if the grass would be greener if you wern't there!

(This is all from a jelous postgrad who is now actually having to work full time at uni rather than working for a bit and then enjoying himself ;))
 
I'm the complete opposite too... infact I wanted to stay at Uni as much as possible, and didn't miss home once... even though my home life is probably a lot of better than a lot of peoples
 
hey guys

been thinking about everything recently and i really dont know if uni is for me, i thought that it would be 4 years of fun but its only 7 weeks in and i really dont enjoy my course and i cant seem to click with my new home:(

i wonder why i bother waking up in the mornings when all i do is mooch around spending money i dont have and going to lectures/doing work i dont enjoy

the idea of getting a job and paying debts/rent etc and saving for a house really appeals to me, i cant imagine another 4 years here and i know it sounds dull but i lived the 9-5working day, then seeing GF in the evenings thing for 9 weeks and secretly loved it, nothing too radical just plodding along in life

i feel as if ive failed myself in wanting to start work (9-5, 5 days a week etc) already but i'm getting seriously depressed here, i miss home, my parents, my GF especially and also feeling rewarded by doing something i enjoy

thing is i dont know if i even want to get into the line of work i've studied (Programming, especially JAVA) i dont really enjoy it but i dont think i would be any good at anything else, although a job where you arent always in the office and out and about meeting people really appeals to me

any advice/hints? i'm starting to get seriously depressed here and realised my life is going down the pan a bit...:(

thanks guys
 
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