Confused about life at the moment - help needed

I think that you have kind of made up your mind but can't quite make that final step. You are not a failure to decide uni is not for you. I see that you are only 19 did you take a gap year? if not why don't you? take a step back and see how things go.
 
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i done a year of A levels, decided it wasnt for me then went to college for 2 years before coming to uni

i dont see why i couldnt leave here, try and find a job and then in a year or so go to a closer uni if i feel the need

its such a big decision though, working life is gonna be so much harder than uni but you've gotta do it eventually

i really dont know what line of work i want to go into though...:( something with scope and possibility to go up the ladder is what i want

also what sort of wage would i be looking at roughly, seeing as all i have are 3 AS levels and a BTEC in IT

thanks
 
defo stay till after holidays.
Hm so what kind of stuff to you do? I dont want to sound rude but in my first year there was a lot of pretty bland people that didnt really have any hobbys, and used to be really anti-social and not go out and do stuff with their friends.

I used to go home on weekends quite often, but it was only because my gf couldnt come to me, plus i lived in a complete tip and hated 3 of my 5 flatmates and they completely ruined the experience in 1st year, so i went n lived in luxury at home over the weekends!
Im final year now, and want to just leave and get a job but thats cos northumbrias crap, my course is crap, my flatmate is bland and i now regret not living with my other friends who wanted to live further out of town for cheaper. What are your flatmates like?
 
Right, heres the plan.

1) I know it sounds harsh, but ditch the girlfriend you is not with you! It is a drag, you end up being very dull.
2) Take up a sensible sport, football, rugby etc. Join a team have fun.
3) Do not spend time worrying about it all. If you live in halls etc. love it, you get used to the lack of sleep and hygiene fast.
4) Do not, I repeat do not keep pining for home and routine. If you do you will never leave home and at 30 you'll carry a well stroked picture of your mum in your wallet. If you get my meaning!
5) University is hard, but it teaches you a lot. I left home at 18, when to a university 300 miles away, the only person from my town there! It is hard, but by god it toughens you up!
6) Remember, university town girls are usually utterly lacking in morals, and quite frequently knickers!

Enjoy.

Andy
 
Just seen your post above,

" i done a year of A levels, decided it wasnt for me then went to college for 2 years before coming to uni

i dont see why i couldnt leave here, try and find a job and then in a year or so go to a closer uni if i feel the need

its such a big decision though, working life is gonna be so much harder than uni but you've gotta do it eventually

i really dont know what line of work i want to go into though... something with scope and possibility to go up the ladder is what i want

also what sort of wage would i be looking at roughly, seeing as all i have are 3 AS levels and a BTEC in IT"

Remember IT pays well, but all, and I do mean all jobs ask for in order of importance, qualifications, then experience.

If you ain't got the qualifications, or the experience, you are going to be going in as the human teas-made!

Stick with it.
 
andymac said:
Right, heres the plan.

1) I know it sounds harsh, but ditch the girlfriend you is not with you! It is a drag, you end up being very dull.
2) Take up a sensible sport, football, rugby etc. Join a team have fun.
3) Do not spend time worrying about it all. If you live in halls etc. love it, you get used to the lack of sleep and hygiene fast.
4) Do not, I repeat do not keep pining for home and routine. If you do you will never leave home and at 30 you'll carry a well stroked picture of your mum in your wallet. If you get my meaning!
5) University is hard, but it teaches you a lot. I left home at 18, when to a university 300 miles away, the only person from my town there! It is hard, but by god it toughens you up!
6) Remember, university town girls are usually utterly lacking in morals, and quite frequently knickers!

Enjoy.

Andy
Click to expand...

was there any reason for the first point? you dont know me or my GF, i find that quire offensive
 
Not sure if it has already been said, but in my opinion you should stick it out. Go home often, every weekend if you need to, but eventually you'll get used to it and enjoy yourself.

We've all got to leave home at some point. :)
 
indeed i was about to say that, some good advice in 2nd post andy, the 1st post is a bit rubbish though, its different for everyone, some people are more family orientated than others etc

Just give it time OP, start trying to have some fun, maybes cut down the 2hour convos aswell..
Get yourself a webcam, and get her one(XMAS PRESSIE!) so you can atleast see each other, the few times my internet worked it really cheered me up just seeing my gfs smile when i was down in first year, only about 60miles apart but her working all weekend and college during week while i was at uni during week meant that i saw her far less than people i knew who were hundreds of miles from their other half.
 
Thats a shame, as I did not write in an offensive manner. You have requested advice, and I have responded in as honest a way as I can. I have been through University a LONG way away from home. I spent a lot of time around people trying to make long distance relationships work. They GENERALLY don't. Even with the best will in the world, they don't.

I have full respect for anyone who attempts it. On my course at university, mainly made up of people from the 4 points of the country, a course in biological modification and bio-engineering, many arrived recently engaged, or with long term 'serious' girlfriends. Of the 60 or so people on my course, over 4 years, not one of the 20 or so people who arrived with partners afar managed to hold it together. First year, mainly yes, Second a few, third year 1. Final year none!

Many who arrived with GFs or BFs also ended up resenting the GF or BF because they were instructed to

"Call me every night at... o'clock"

"Don't go out with any other girls."

"Remember I love you etc etc"

University is the final great freedom, freedom from parents, house rules, financial mole coddling. It is a time when young people MUST be on their own two feet, away from support structures and taking responsibility for themselves!

It is your call. YOU must make your decision on your own. Think about how you will feel if you do quit.

I would suggest it could lead to a life of non-completion, as in "I find this hard, I'm going to give up!"

Up to you?!
 
Kinda agree with you again andy but then dont, Iv had a decent relationship with my current GF in the sense that the long distance hasnt annoyed me, though she does ring me everynight, and its very rare that she doesnt, if im busy ill make it quick but will generally try to have a little chat with her.
Im aloud out with whoever i want, if my plans suddenly change I can easily text her and tell her im not going to ring or she cant phone me for whatever reason etc etc.
Relationships are not all about staying together and getting married, having them is part of growing up, they may have loads of fun for the next 2 years before its over, not all the relationships you speak of ended because of long distance did they? :)
 
In a similar situation I guess, although I moved away from home when I was 17 I had great reliance on my friends, as there was a fairly large group of us who had literally stuck together for years, bit of a shock coming to an environment and sort of 'replacing' them.
Hated my first 2 weeks of university but am absolutely enjoying myself now, just stick at it I think :)
 
A fair point well put peetee.

You are right, many of the relationships I spoke of where rushed into seriousness to try and guarantee faithfulness!

I went to university at the end of my sixth form time. I was in a relationship, we both agreed that the relationship would end at the end of that summer as we were going to be a HUGE distance apart.

We are still close friend, both happily married to different people now 10 years later. We actually laugh about the times when we seriously thought about staying together. Peoples characters change when they are away a long while!
 
Ay theres a lot of people throwing personal experiences around, but we all have different ones and the OP seems to be a diff type of person to a lot of you lads :)

Oi iv got a distance relationship, and most my mates are more boring than me, especially the ones with GFs here, basically im free for nearly the full week to do stuff with no1 to answer to, if not the full week :D

Definately stick at it, be stronggg, you're growing up. Itll make you a better person!
Treat going home as holidays tbh, I do, mum+dad get in from work and im sprawled out in their sexy front room watching their big sexy tv, with the big sexy sky subscription, eatin all their sexy expensive food and then the mother will make me something brilliant.
And i can go and have a bath in their big sexy free standing bath, then go to bed, which is also incredibly sexy because i just got a new one put into my room, its now better than this brilliant bed i have at uni. Sometimes ill be joined by a sexy lady who keeps me warm at night too :)
 
I got fairly homesick at various points during my 1st year. When I did I just hopped on the Citiexpress shuttle home. Maybe buy a car - just having one and knowing that if you want to go home you can is a big comforter. I really think you need to stick it out for one year, spend the summer at home and then you will realise how much you miss being at uni.
 
can anyone here who spent a bit of time at uni and realised it wasnt for them then went home to get a job give me their story? just want to know some personal experiences :)
 
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