Sundays Joke

Sonea Fifer

Sonea Fifer

Sonea Fifer

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13 Dec 2006
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An old lady answers a knock at her front door to be met by a pushy vacuum cleaner salesman.

"It's no use to me at the moment" the old lady says

"Rubbish, everyone needs a vacuum cleaner" says the salesman as he proceeds to empty a bucket of horse manure all over her hallway carpet.

"This vacuum cleaner is so dam good if it doesn't remove all trace of this manure I will personally eat what it leaves" says the salesman

The old lady replies "Well i hope your hungry, they cut my electric off this morning" ;)
 
Sonea Fifer said:
An old lady answers a knock at her front door to be met by a pushy vacuum cleaner salesman.

"It's no use to me at the moment" the old lady says

"Rubbish, everyone needs a vacuum cleaner" says the salesman as he proceeds to empty a bucket of horse manure all over her hallway carpet.

"This vacuum cleaner is so dam good if it doesn't remove all trace of this manure I will personally eat what it leaves" says the salesman

The old lady replies "Well i hope your hungry, they cut my electric off this morning" ;)
Click to expand...

Oh dear that was awful.. Mate I feel embarrassed for you right now.
 
emptyroom.jpg
 
Ok - am stuck at work and bored atm. How about this one then:-

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"
 
4 people in the carriage of a train - a Scotsman, a pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and an Englishman.

It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Englishman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.

The old lady thinks "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him"

The pretty young blonde thinks "I bet the Englishman tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him"

The Englishman thinks "I bet that Scotsman fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me"

The Scotsman thinks "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that English **** again"
 
PurpleDinosaur said:
4 people in the carriage of a train - a Scotsman, a pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and an Englishman.

It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Englishman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.

The old lady thinks "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him"

The pretty young blonde thinks "I bet the Englishman tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him"

The Englishman thinks "I bet that Scotsman fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me"

The Scotsman thinks "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that English **** again"
Click to expand...

ROFL - 10/10 :p
 
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