fridays joke!

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Dear Abby:

I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month.
My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and
understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited
me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a
bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place, we
reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred... then
she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and
that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me.

Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said
that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood
there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly
how to deal with this situation.

I headed straight out the front door...............
There, leaning against my car, was her husband, my father-in-law to be.
He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a
good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and
he congratulated me on passing their little test. Abby, should I tell
my fiancee what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test"
was asinine and insulting to my character?

Or should I keep the whole thing to myself, including the fact that the
reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?

Signed,
 
:o

Make or break time...

A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when he hears:


BUMP…

BUMP…

BUMP… behind him.

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him


BUMP…

BUMP…

BUMP…

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him faster…

faster…

BUMP…


BUMP…
BUMP…

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping

clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…
clappity-BUMP…


...on his heels the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything,
but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket…


and,



The coffin stops!
 
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