Well, I've just been in touch with the police for you. It seems they're a little too tied down to help.
Operator: Emergency Services, how may I help?
Me: Hi there, Phate off
the forums has had his phone nicked. I need you to send some people round to where he works please.
Operator: Do you have the address of his workplace?
Me: Yep, it's on Fenchurch Street.
Operator: London?
Me: Yes.
Operator: Do you have the name of the building?
Me: Yes, it's the one where he works.
Operator: The name, sir?
Me: "Phate's Workplace."
Operator: Is this a genuine call sir?
Me: Hang on, he's posted something again.
Operator: Sir, are you on any medication?
Me: I had some Strepsils earlier, does that count?
...and then she hung up on me