Monday morning joke thread.

Soldato
Joined
13 Aug 2004
Posts
8,418
Location
England
GOTTA LOVE DRUNK PEOPLE

A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a
loudpounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door
where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a
push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not! It's 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember
about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped
us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the
pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, Please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
 
That's one of the few jokes that no matter how many times I've heard it before, it still makes me smile.
 
Blonde woman goes to PC World and asks the assistant for a pair of curtains for her PC.
Assistant states " you dont need curtains for a PC"
Blonde woman replies "helloooooo, ive got windows!
 
David Hasselhoff walks into a bar and says to the barman, "I want you to call me David Hoff".

The barman replies "Sure thing Dave... no hassle

:o
 
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