Full limericks

There once was a woman from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
In less than an hour, her boobs were in flower
And her tuppence was a garden of weeds.

:D
 
There's a guy on the forum called Kreeeee
Who quite often talks of the Wii
He seem oft' to boast
That he's better than most
With stars, one hundred and twenty :p



I think we should have a thread for forum based limericks/haikus
 
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On yon forums was a member called sam
Most others thought he should scram
He couldn't tell the car
It made him a star
Then he threw his toys out of the pram

Oh God, it's worse in print than it was in my head! Lord have mercy on me!
 
My DJ's got the cuts and the beats are on
We're comin with the limericks and we're comin' strong
And the rhythm's on time to every word and rhyme
When it comes to keep it real I keep it really wrong

:p
 
There was a young fool from Maidenhood,
He killed lots of folks coz he could,
He got chased by the cops,
to the edge of a roof and fell off,
and got implaled on spikes made of wood!

*dies of limerick related injuries*
 
There was a young man from Nave
Who found a dead whore in a cave
He said oh what luck, i'll have a free ****
And think of the money i'll save.
 
Dist said:
1cc1827236ed81aab83998b3290f05a1.png


or in other words:

A dozen a gross and a score
plus three times the square root of four
divided by seven
plus five times eleven
equals nine squared and not a bit more

and another mathmatical limerick :)

3d0d69d251554fad1c3ad6b36b5d9a78.png

The integral t-squared dt
From one to the cube root of three
Times the cosine
Of three pi over nine
Equals log of the cube root of e
Click to expand...

Wow, that's awesome.
 
If A equals B (so I say),
And we multiply both sides by A,
Then we'll see that A squared,
When with AB compared,
Are the same. Remove B squared. Okay?

Both sides we will factorize. See?
Now each side contains A minus B.
We'll divide through by A
Minus B, and ole!
A plus B equals B. Oh whoopee!

But since I said A equals B,
B plus B equals B, you'll agree?
So if B equals one,
Then this sum I have done,
Proves that two equals one. Q.E.D.
 
There was a young woman from Strood
Who got on the bus in the nude
A man at the front

........
 
There once was a woman from Ealing,
Who had a peculiar feeling,
She laid on her back,
Opened her crack,
And peed all over the ceiling.

There once was a plumber from Brie,
Who was plumbing a lass by the sea,
She cried "Plumber, stop plumbing,
There's somebody coming!"
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."

A daring young woman named Alice
used a dynamite stick as a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And bits of her anus in Dallas.

On the chest of a barmaid at Yale
were tattooed the prices of ale,
and on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
was the same information in Braille.

There once was a vampire named Mable,
whose periods were really quite stable.
And every full moon,
she'd get out a spoon
and drink herself under the table.
 
there was a young woman from eeling,
who had a perculiar feeling,
she laid on her back,
opened her crack,
and pee'd all over the ceiling...

edit: BAH damn you justin
 
there once was a man from leeds,
who swallowed a packet of seeds,
tufts of grass sprouted out of his ***
and his balls were covered in weeds!
 
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