How to win an Election

1. Everyone shall attend 'being awesome' classes, I will act as the Head Teacher and delegate my minions to spread the classes of awesomeness. We will be known throughout the world as a nation of frickin' awesome people. Much kudos++++

2. There will be many national holidays and days of having a laugh. People will be forced to come out of their houses and speak to their neighbours, interact with each other and get to know each other better. People will enjoy this, because they will be educated into being awesome (see Point 1).

3. Being a miserable git will be punishable by tickling with a feather until a little bit of wee comes out.

Vote me :p
 
1. Lie to get the unsuspecting masses to elect him
2. Come from a blue-blooded well educated background
3. Secretly plan to oppress the lazy life-draining masses that succle and occasionally bite at the nipple of british society.

Oh wait... There's someone like that to vote for already.
 
1. Reduce tax on petrol
2. Reduce cost of imprisoning someone, and use the saved money to give them skills
3. Put more police on the streets
 
Malt_Vinegar said:
We would have a pro-capital punishment government if one party backed it he claimed.
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Interesting theory at least, I'd rather hope it isn't true though, if the only thing that is stopping such a number of people voting is the fact that they can't have the state off someone for crimes then I'm a bit worried.

Just to check do the points/promises have to be in any way achievable or founded in reality? I'm aware of the hopeless naivety of assuming that any political party will implement most of what they claim while electioneering but I just want to check for this thread what the aim is.
 
Gilly said:
They would if it meant losing JSA otherwise.
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On a slight tangent - they should also make voting compulsary.

I doubt the sponging masses would even realise that there was a party that was trying to stop JSA.
 
semi-pro waster said:
Just to check do the points/promises have to be in any way achievable or founded in reality? I'm aware of the hopeless naivety of assuming that any political party will implement most of what they claim while electioneering but I just want to check for this thread what the aim is.
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I've already asked that but don't believe I got a response.

Rhys said:
On a slight tangent - they should also make voting compulsary.
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I'd be even less likely to vote if someone tried to make me.

Rhys said:
I doubt the sponging masses would even realise that there was a party that was trying to stop JSA.
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Are you kidding? The vast majority of them would be able to explain their tactics at length when required. They know more about wheedling as much cash as possible than anyone!
 
Rhys said:
I just wanted to know what a politician could promise to win your vote.
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Ah, in that case I don't think there is anything that a politician could say that would convince me to vote for them since I believe very little of what most say. I'm sure there are honest politicians but I don't worry for them too much, they are bound to have that particular foible beaten out of them soon enough.

However if I pretend that I might believe them then in no particular order:
*Housing for all who require it (particularly emergency but possibly not without some conditions attached and I do obviously accept that some people will always try to screw the system).
*Government itself to be scaled back and for it to remember that it is meant to serve the people, not the other way round.
*Laws to be made on demonstrable benefits, not kneejerk politics.

I'd need to think about this longer to get three that I was happy with but those might do as an initial point.
 
semi-pro waster said:
Interesting theory at least, I'd rather hope it isn't true though, if the only thing that is stopping such a number of people voting is the fact that they can't have the state off someone for crimes then I'm a bit worried.
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*controvesy* Basically, i think its because it would create an emotional uproar which would get all the semi-right wing un-educated non-voters out in force. For instance the sun recently said that 99.9% of the people who read the sun would vote if there was a pro capitol punishment option available.
 
Rhys said:
Do they vote? I doubt it is a high percentage.
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As I said, not everyone on JSA is a waster scrote. Some of them are normal people who are trying to buy food while not currently employed.

As to the rest, I don't know if a lower-than-average percentage of people on JSA vote.

Might make an interesting statistic, if someone could prove it.
 
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